I have never seen a full Brewers season where they make the playoffs. Born in July 1982, I missed that amazing World Series run. It’s been a long 25 years- the longest playoff drought in baseball. With a young team of quality stars and shrewd management, we’re boldly making our move. I get so excited thinking about the Brewers now, a little pee comes out. In fact,

When the Brewers
make the playoffs
I will pee my pants.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008 - CC = Mr. Perfect

CC is really too good. He contributes in every single way. Monster game on the mound, clutch 2-out at-bats to open up the game. He might be the best thing to happen to the Brewers this year. He's absolutely perfect. Can he creep up in MVP and Cy Young conversations, or not enough starts?

And what's up with Mr. Perfect? Can you believe he thought he was the hot stuff with that blonde greasy perm? Is he dead in real life? I think if he is, that kind of sabotages his own claims of being perfect. He will be missed though, along with CC next year.
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Monday, August 18, 2008 - He Really is the Best

What a game and effort by the Crew last night. How good is Ryan Braun? I love that we have him until the apocalypse in 2013. This guy comes in after not being able to breathe or sneeze for the last week and does what's he paid to do in the 9th. Two bad hacks and then just punishes the ball to the bullpen. (Another one of my favorite things about baseball. When a dong is hit into the bullpen and the relief pitchers do the knockout punch as it lands? Awesome). Unfortunately, it was for naught as the men in blue came back. Erasing a 4-run deficit in the 9th. That's great resilience.

The early damage first-pitch dong to the Soup Nazi always has to hurt and frustrate, huh? You're all pumped for a good game, you want to start a game strong and before the catcher is able to grab the ball, you're snapping your head back at 90 miles an hour to see your Run per Pitch count rise to a 1000. That was like Gagne a couple of days ago, where he comes in for relief- and of course, first pitch just nailed down the line for a double.
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Sunday, August 17, 2008 - Got room for one more if you still want to go to Aspen

What a game! Did you see that catch by Kapler? Did you see Hart's face plant into the wall after his stellar grab? Did you see Cameron's slip'n slide snag in the bottom of the 8th? And of course JJ provided all the drama for the action heroes. Way to redeem yourself kid. Today the Brewers are going after their 5th straight series win. Old Man Soup (we can get 70 miles to gallon on this hog) will take on the young Clayton Kershaw, who's obviously from Texas. Whatever. You don't scare me.
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Saturday, August 16, 2008 - Oof!

That one stings a little bit. The Manny War didn't go off quite as expected for the Crew. I saw a brief bit in SI this past week about up and coming minor leaguers. They had a blurb about LaPorta that giving up CC was worth it for the Indians. That the stud LaPorta will probably be a consistent bat in the middle of the lineup for the next decade. Whew! That's a long time. I really think this is a scenario where it was a great deal for both teams. The excitement CC has brought to Mil-town has been off the hook. I love that mofo.
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Friday, August 15, 2008 - Add Oil! Add Oil!

These Chinese Olympics have been especially impressive. I almost feel bad for the London who hosts 2012. But there are some things we can learn from those in Beijing. Beijing organizers are promoting an officially sanctioned chanting routine for the Chinese fans. Incorporating the ubiquitous Chinese sporting chant, "Jiayou" or "add oil," they designed a four-step routine. I love that it's Add Oil! Is there a more perfect example for their collectivist, person as expendable machine conception of the human body.

The routine begins with "Olympics -- add oil" accompanied by two claps and a double thumbs up, before continuing with "China -- add oil" with two more claps and raised fists. The "China" and "Olympics" can be replaced to allow support for other countries or individuals, the paper said. Double thumbs up! This could be a revolutionary new cheer if we adopted it first in Miller Park. Now that we've finally lost- it's time for another 9-game streak.
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Thursday, August 14, 2008 - Who needs a hero?

Special times. These are special times my friends. The brewers average game attendance is 37,500. 14 straight sell-outs at Miller Park. 30 sell-outs in 58 home games this season.
We've won 8 in a row... for the second time this SEASON!!!!
We're 6 games over .500... ON THE ROAD!!!!
Our starters are on a hot streak for the ages: 9-2 with a 1.95 ERA in the last 12 games. In the month of August we have outscored opponents 65-25.
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Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - Don't Look Now

But here comes Yovani el Gallardo. He's currently on the road with us and rehab seems to be going well. Melvin and Yost are both saying they are not relying on him coming back this year, but it appears that he might be ready. If he does return it definitely will not be a starting role, but short relief stints as he won't be able to get his leg in proper condition. Kind of amazing if he comes back.

I don't mean to be a jerk to Yovani, but would we have ever gotten CC if Yovani had not gotten injured? Sabathia has been an unbelievable acquisition and I'm not sure we would have pursued him with Gallardo in the lineup. Maybe we would have though and that lineup of CC, Sheets, Gallardo, Parra is truly scary. Great mustache Donald Sutherland.
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Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - Cherish these Brewers

Brewerandy was absolutely right to recount the Sutton story of recognizing what we've got. This team is so good and young and exciting and hungry and fun to watch. To have a team like this with so much chemistry is a special thing. These 15 consecutive sellouts are great, but they'll need us later on as well- when things aren't going as well.

My only gripe with them is that they're peaking when the Olympics just started. I know I'm being super-selfish, but these Olympics are taking up a lot of my time. I think I may have logged 30+ hours of Olympic coverage already and I cannot get enough of Bob Costas' smooth delivery. I was hoping that one of the Brewers' few slumps with coincide with the Olympics. Don't get me wrong, it's awesome.
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Monday, August 11, 2008 - Indubitably

I got a text from my little bro last night asking if Parra dominated. And the answer? Yes, yes he did. What a game last night for the Crew. The Parra-dactyl took care of biz like nobody else- dominating through seven. And then Mr. Gagne took over. What I don't get with that guy is how he gets the first 2 batters easy peasy and then literally collapses. You can see it happening where he just becomes eminently hittable and a run producer.

But he's not the story of a game- we took it down with lucky 13 for old man Kapler. Good work grandpa. Poor man's Tobey Maguire also got some playing time and performed better than Tobey's mail-in for Spidey 3.
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Sunday, August 10, 2008 - Puzzlemaster

Ben Sheets is a legitimate puzzlemaster. I bet he goes on vacations. Whoa whoa whoa. I'm watching an absurd commercial for Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Crackers where the kids take a bite of a Mac & Cheese cracker (not sure what that is) and then a huge geyser of digital cheese GUSHES and raised them up- it's disgusting. I don't think I want to eat anything like that. Back to Sheetsy. The mofo is legit. Complete games are so cool for the Brewers now. Everybody is doing it.
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Saturday, August 9, 2008 - Schwing!

Ryan Braun is clearly the luckiest guy in the world- getting to do this commercial with Marisa Miller. She's my absolute favorite. Great butt, gorgeous face, nice moves on the dance floor I'm betting. I have a friend named Adam who often sends me pictures of Marisa Miller. Then he has a pretty good joke. He calls her Mrs. Adam Allogramento. Whatever movie they end up making, I'm going to watch it just on repeat on YouTube. I won't tell my gf, or if she asks what I'm up to I'll just say it's research for this site.

RIP Mr. 3000. RIP Bernie Mac.
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Friday, August 8, 2008 - She says the jungle... it just came alive and took him.

This line doesn't really relate to anything the Brewers or done, it is just another startingly scary description of what the Predator is capable of. Maybe the Brewers should wear camouflage uniforms sometimes like the Padres- THEN it would apply and we could sneak up on the Nats big time- they'd be terrified. Cousin Jon told me earlier this week how he watched Predator again, "Every line is a classic. My roommate watched it for the first time and he was totally freaked out by the Predator." I do not blame the roommate one bit.

Kind of weird how for Predator 2 they took it to an urban environment with Danny Glover. I guess they were trying to combine the best of both worlds- gritty urban crimescape and the most terrifying alien monster and outer space. I guess in hindsight, it's surprising it's not the top film of all-time. So ends Predator Week.
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Thursday, August 7, 2008 - This thing is hunting us. ALL of us. You know that?

The Predator may be the most deadly beast in all of history. I don't really know how the Arnold was able to stop him. His cakemud to cool him down seems like it wouldn't last that long especially with all the flexing. Whatever. This quote serves as a warning to the rest of the league. The bumbling Brewers on the road are a thing of the past. We're going after everyone. We've already matched last season's road wins and we're going for more. 4 games over 5 hundred on the road? I'll take that satisfaction.

And I'm really enjoying how Suppan is talking, "We're getting to the point with this team that experience is taking over. The core of the team has played with each other. And there's a mix of other players. I think when you get a team with more experience you're able to understand situations, confront them and move on. You can see that maturity with our team." The Brewers are so mature- like me and also like peeing your pants.
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Wednesday, August 6, 2008 - If it bleeds, we can kill it

Edinson Volquez who? Oh, we were so worried about this all-star right-hander. Oh, we won't be able to take him down. Well last time I checked- he was a pitcher who throws balls that players have the opportunity to get hit. Meaning? Meaning he is basically the same as the Predator- and we hit that fool for all he was worth in a clobbering and redemptive win.

Very funny that the Prince fight was caused by a stray zipper. Cousin J was totally right that Parra kind of looks at the Prince like, "Oh jeez, I hit him with my zipper in the face and he's going to kill me for it. He's not even overreacting- that's an appropriate reaction for zipper hitting." And then the Prince was like, "Yeah! You better watch us bat and another thing [gets hit with the zipper] WTF? You little lady! Did you just hit me with your zipper? I'm going to shove you as hard as I can not once, but twice- and the 2nd time in your stupid face!" All I'm saying is don't ever hit me with a zipper in the face.
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Tuesday, August 5, 2008 - What's the matter? The CIA got you pushing too many pencils?

The tension of the crack commando team between Dutch (Arnold) and Dillon (Carl Weathers) is a great corrolary to the Prince-Parra matchup. Okay, not really. I don't know who would be CIA and who would be the commando. And I don't understand the tension that made the Prince explode. He absolutely looked crazy, huh? He's like a genuine crazy fire hydrant man with that shaved head and packed lip.

Everyone certainly got him surrounded and under control pretty quickly. This is when it would be the best to be in the dugout- to hear what actually was going on and then get some yells in at Prince, "what are you doing? Come on Prince- hit another dong!" I watched a replay with a Reds announcer- what a doofus, "they're falling apart in the dugout. it all started when they got swept by the mets in milwaukee [never corrected himself]. And now you're seeing it in the dugout and you'll probably see that leak into the clubhouse." I bet he wanted to go on, "that's it for the brewers. you might as well stick a fork in them, they're done- self-destructing like the hindenberg," but the other announcer told him to shut up by kicking him in his shins.
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Monday, August 4, 2008 - I Ain't Got Time To Bleed

That's right mothaflippa. As PREDATOR WEEK starts off with a bang, the Brewers are all business. So what if we laid an egg against Atlanta in the final frame of the three-game set. We're taking the travelling road show to Cincy and we're going to hunt down the Predator- future alien. I love how two actors from the Predator movie became governors in the United States. That is absurd. I don't know if there are any other movies that share that pedigree.
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Sunday, August 3, 2008 - We're killing them off one at a time.... like hunters

Oh yeah, the Crew is taking care of business in Hotlanta in a big way. I wish more dances and rap movements would come from Atlanta, or Milwaukee. I'm going to invent the Predator. In fact- this whole week is PREDATOR WEEK. Get ready for the business!
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Saturday, August 2, 2008 - Lit Up Turner

Last night was basically the scene in Predator where Dutch and the crew completely light up the jungle with guns blazing aimlessly trying to kill that friggen invisible freak alien predator. The Brewers didn't make up all four games in one night, but they definitely mowed down the Braves and sent a message. If you saw their faces last night, you could see that they were all business. Look for the mowing to continue throughout the weekend as the Crew stays hot on the road.
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Friday, August 1, 2008 - We're better than this

Whoa, whoa whoa, Ms. Lippy! The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for his puppy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits! You get your a** out there, and you find that effing dog!
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Thursday, July 31, 2008 - Tragic so far

Clearly this series has not gone as planned. After the supremely exciting game 1, we've had our butts handed to us on a plate. No question about it we've played like garbage. All the small mistakes are unacceptable against a good team like the Cubs. Walks, errors, strikeouts on wild pitches turning into baserunners who score- NOOOOO!

Today's afternoon game is pretty important for my psyche and the Brewers. I want a win: 24 to negative 2.
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Wednesday, July 30, 2008 - Not Going As Planned

This kid was spending a long day at the office and doing some extra monitoring of the Brewers-Cubs game on the side. Everything was going as planned, it was a tight and good game. He checked the scores again in the sixth and to his surprise and consternation, his Brewers were in a large hole. "Probably too minor to be working kid, but you're hitting the long hours anyway," I know how you're feeling. What happened to us last night? Braun made a valiant attempt, but you either have to catch it or block it, not let it slide to the wall.

We've still got Parra today and a national tv audience to erase the mistakes of the last two games. Time to kick in the Cubs teeth.
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008 - Awww Man...

What an exciting game. We really had those motherflippas I thought. The defensive gems by Cameron's rocket to home and then the Prince's dive and shovel to a screaming Sabathia- a lot of meat on that play! And then there was Hardy's body contortions after CC's deflection- beautiful. Those defensive beauties inspired JJ and Braun to get back in the game with back to back sweetness dongs. Unreal!

And then our mistakes came back to haunt us- Rickie with that terrible throwing error. Admittedly, it was a tough slide, but he's got to stay in there a little longer or jump in the air- not take himself out. Torres also shot himself in the foot a bit with those 1-out walks. Ugh! 3 games to go. And the match-up of 2008 today.
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Monday, July 28, 2008 - The Showdown

The day has finally arrived and the series is here. The Cubs are making their first trip to Miller Park for 4 games. Did you know the division lead hangs in the balance? Did you know the Brewers are winning the season series so far and we've only played at Wrigley? And did you know the Brewers are pitching their 1-2-3 of Sabathia, Sheets, and Parra? Of course you knew all these things.

It's a regular showdown. I actually saw the short movie depicted in the pic. It stinks! It's a comparison of an old-time Western duel to a pitcher v hitter battle. The movie would have been my favorite of all-time if Sabathia were the pitcher. Would have received 4 stars from Duane Dudek, Oscar nominations for best picture and actor, etc.
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Sunday, July 27, 2008 - Mighty Mighty Brewers

I love Jen's comment from last night: "YEAH HAW!!! Just came back from the game. Man, after Braun's dong, the place was electric. Then AFTER the game, when everyone is filing out, people were chanting LET"S GO BREWERS!! Strangers were high fiving each other." Stranger high fives are the best. Especially in Pick'n Save. Brewers fans are jacked right now and they don't care who knows it. Today is so awesome too. It's like Cubs-Series Eve. Honestly, I don't think the 'stros stand a chance today. We are going to clown them like we did when Stan Ross pulled the hidden ball trick on 'em in Mr. 3000. We're finally getting some of that national attention too. Bob Ley opened last night's highlights by raving about the "Mighty Mighty Brewers". That's right Bob, the Brewers are turnin' up the heat. And if you can't stand the heat in the kitchen, GET OUT IT WILL INCREASE! High five.
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Saturday, July 26, 2008 - It's alright, it's okay, there's something to live for

Well, we weren't going to go undefeated the rest of the way. The thing was, in that final inning, with Corey on-base, I thought we were going to do it. Apparently, all the players did too as they were all swinging for the fences and that magical tying dong. Parra pitched a beaut and got out of most of his jams, except for the costly bases loaded seventh.

How about that blood-curdling scream from Mike in American Movie? That was scary.
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Friday, July 25, 2008 - I'm a Broken Record

The Brewers are so good. I love the Brewers. This is the best I've ever seen the Brewers play. I could go on and on like this all day. What an exciting time. I honestly thought I was hallucinating when he hit that. It was unbelievable. La Russa's face was so priceless too. Complete shock and disgust. Frankly, I'd say this is beyond the '92 season. 7-0 road trip is a franchise record, 20 straight games with a homer is a franchise record, and winning 3 of a 4 game road sweep in St. Louis on last inning homers is definitely something I've never seen before. My brain just exploded.

I don't think we can praise Ryan Braun enough either. This was the 2nd game in the series where he was one short of the cycle. He just bypasses doubles- why wouldn't he go straight to third? His dong 2 nights ago for the 3rd insurance run was dope. And then he's the hero last night after asking Hall if he had one more in him. I love these guys too much.
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Thursday, July 24, 2008 - This Guy is a Horse!

CC Sabathia is too good to be true. I mean, he came to Milwaukee and immediately switched his website to show him in a Brewers uniform. Except for his first game jitters (where he was still very good), he has been a total beast- dominating 3 complete games, contributing at the plate with a dong and a double. He's talking about the team with the first person plural, "I didn’t really have any expectations. I knew we had a good team, I knew we scored runs and if I kept us in some games, I could win some games.”

My favorite part of the game was when the Prince celebrated the win with CC after the final out. They did a little hug, fist-pump thing and as CC walked away to get his daps from everyone else, the Prince wanted more and gave CC a huge slap in the butt. Great headline from The Onion, C.C. Sabathia, Prince Fielder Keep Imagining Each Other As Giant Talking Hot Dog, Hamburger. The Crew is so competitive right now. To walk into St Louis and break their will like this has been impressive to watch.
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - Can't Keep Us Down

Thrilling comeback by our boys in blue shirts and gray pants last night. Just a gritty, never-say-die performance. St Louis has to be pretty peeved that they let it slip away, though it wasn't so much a slip as we pried and stole it from their fighting hands. Billy Hall is my personal hero. Maybe he'll hit 1 more dong in each of the next 2 games to the exact same spot.

And as everyone knows, now the big dogs are pitching. Obviously there are no guarantees, but I'll take my chances with CC Sheets in any 2-game series. Goodness, I'm really giddy. I would have taken 2 games in the whole series at St Louis, but to get the first two. We're in tip-top shape. Man, I hate clowns though.
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Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - Wild Ones played last night

As Yost says, the first one in a series is always sweet to have. What's even better are the first two, superior is the first 3, and the ultimate is a 4-game sweep. Yesterday was truly a dynamic win. Our bullpen held strong with some of the cardiac kids in there- Mota and Gagne. It came down to Torres letting it slip away, but fortunately our guys gave him another chance. I love how he's a closer that can go 2 innings when necessary.

Rickie Strongs is certainly heating up. Maybe he heard rumors of the Durham trade and doesn't want to lose his spot. That's great news. He just needs a mentor like Durham to raise his on-base percentage by 100 points.
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Monday, July 21, 2008 - The Smartest Kid in the World

I was standing in the concession line at AT&T Park on Sunday for some Giroy Garlic Fries and a refreshing brew when I started listening to a 5 year-old kid behind me asking his dad questions. "Can I get a Super-Rope? Are those seats above us? Aahhh, they're going to fall!" Then he asked his dad, "Are the Brewers the champions?" I turned to the kid, "Not yet, son. But they're playing like champions." What a cap to the weekend.

The Brewers are awesome. We ripped up a formerly 11-2 pitcher, now 11-3, with effective hitting. Braun was just ridiculous with a 3-run dong and another 2 rbi double that was feet away from duplicating his first feat. The whole series consisted of tight games (couldn't tell by the scores), but the Brewers played the whole time like they expected to win. Confidence is key. Check out the accompanying pic from Saturday- all the fine travelling Brewers fans in SF (what up Fennimore!) and everyone back home have something to cheer about.
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