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Friday, September 4, 2009 - Take That!

How do you like that St Louis? I like dance-off fights. I think since Michael Jackson's death, they are going to make a comeback. Have you seen Shakira's Shewolf video? She does some pretty amazing things in there that might be illegal in some states. My point is, that's how the Brewers should intimidate their opponents- with well-choreographed runs out to the field and dong celebrations. I know I'd be scared if the Prince, Cameron, and Corey Hart started dancing in unison along the first base line.
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Thursday, September 3, 2009 - Meet Dave Bush

Meet Dave Bush everyone! Congratulations to our pitcher who makes the other team feel absolutely wonderful about themselves. You know Tom Hardicourt, the baseball writer for the Journal Sentinel. Well, apparently his name is actually Haudricourt- which even though I always read him- I've never realized that. He has a Twitter account and updates during Brewers games- they're entertaining and insightful posts. Some devastating ones about Bush last night. They get steadily worse:

Brewers starter Dave Bush faces six hitters and throws 22 pitches in first inning yet gives up no runs. Houdini would have been proud.

First 8 batters reached base against Bush in 2nd inning as Cards score 6 runs. 11 of first 14 batters Bush faced in game reached base. Awful

Dave Bush finally removed in fourth inning after 15 of 24 batters reached base. I'm no pitching coach but I don't think a .625 OBP is good.

Dave Bush's pitching line in two starts since coming off DL: 8 IP, 15 H, 13 R, 13 ER, 5 BB, 5 K. Again, I'm no pitching coach but...
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Wednesday, September 2, 2009 - America is Awesome, Brewers are not

Now that the Brewers are so bad and out of it, I'm just trying to think of awesome things to write about or generally awesome things. I did a search of "awesome pics" and this hot dog with a boner and the eagle came up. That's pretty awesome I guess. More or less as awesome as you can get.

Do you feel let down by the Brewers this year? Have you soured on them? Was the season not as fun because expectations were so high?
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Tuesday, September 1, 2009 - Poor Guy

WHyyyyyyy? Why did they forsake me? That's all JJ Hardy must be thinking over the last couple of weeks. I'm interested in what you guys think about this. Did the Brewers do a mean, dirty thing to JJ that will eventually reflect poorly on the organization? Maybe even long-term players will not want to play here because of this tough guy reputation? I read one comment of Melvin's where he hoped any player would appreciate if they were on the player's side early on in the career and stuck with him then- like JJ's rookie season when he was struggling mightily.

I'm not sure what the right answer is. It's not entirely clear that when the Brewers sent JJ down that they were giving up on the season- just because JJ was playing so badly. And is JJ's agent really bad for not jumping up and down the first moment JJ got demoted. He should've been calling Melvin every day and saying, "Don't let this go 20 days." And inform JJ of the 20 days importance as well. It seems like JJ got sidelined by the 20 days information. Seems like the Brewers punked JJ and his poor agent. That's why it's all about representation with no taxation.

I want to see JJ go pro against the Cards tonight.
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Monday, August 31, 2009 - Do you believe in miracles?

Here we are. Just completed a sweep against our slump busters the Pirates. Breaking records for most consecutive home wins against a group of corpses. Headed to St. Louis with a last chance to save the season. Do you have any hope? Do you think it could happen? I am not sure. Very hesitant at this point to put my emotions on the line- but I guess that's what life is all about. Putting yourself out there. Here we go Brew-ers.
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Sunday, August 30, 2009 - 21 and counting

Nachooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! That's the requisite celebration for 21 in a row and a sweep.
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Saturday, August 29, 2009 - So Hot

Megan Fox is the real deal. Obviously. Far superior to the Brewers in most ways. Do you think Ryan Braun is the biggest player on the Brewers? I'm not sure- maybe. Maybe it was JJ before- but now he's in the minors. It could be Bob Uecker for all we know. That would be slightly embarrassing (I'm always unclear how many r's are in embarrrrrrrrassing), but awesome for him.
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Friday, August 28, 2009 - The Babes Keep Coming

I told my fianceé about Babefest going on this week in PYP Land. Suffice it to say that she was entirely unimpressed with the direction the site has gone. And that's what I spend my mornings doing. WELLLLL, the Brewers aren't offering me too many other options anymore. And little does she know that Babefest Week has boosted visitors to the site by 24%!

After dropping a home series to the now less-pathetic Reds, we are truly pathetic. All I have to look forward to is Marisa Miller and how she is the best. I can't believe Ryan Braun did that commercial with her, Gillette? What a weird ad that was.

I don't know why I'm doing this, but I'm getting excited for the Packers. I used to get so upset when the Packers (even when they were crappy) would steal the news headlines from a superior Brewers team. Well- the Brewers have earned any scorn, disrespect, and inattention this year. Packers' opener is two (TWO!) weeks away!
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Thursday, August 27, 2009 - Waivers?

Does anybody even know how waivers work in MLB? Can you offer to write a guest post and explain it? I don't understand it a bit. The trading deadline passed months ago- and now we have some of our biggest names - Cameron and Trevor - on waivers? What is going on? Who wants to explain it to me and to everyone else?

Second, Padma is the best. I love her on Top Chef. Does anybody know how she got those scars on her arms? I'll also accept a guest post for that story.

The Brewers are dead. I've clearly given up. How can we enjoy the remainder of the season if we're out of the playoff hunt? I guess we could get hot and play spoiler to some other teams, but that seems unlikely. Do we have many more games against other contenders?
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Wednesday, August 26, 2009 - For the Ladies

This picture is for Connie and the gang. Enjoy. I like how Full House allowed the true skills of Joey and Uncle Jesse to really shine. They let Joey do his comedian and ventriloquist bits and Uncle Jesse got to play with his band and do music videos on the show. Were they trying to launch John Stamos as a real ABC musician? I'm not sure. One thing I do remember. Rebecca- his gf/wife- was hot. He got close to messing that up so many times (just like his hair) and I would always get angry. Don't mess it up Uncle Jesse!

In real life I have a cousin-in-law named Jesse who is the best dancer I know. He is also incredibly good at lightning, but one thing Uncle Jesse beats him at is hair. Nobody can come close to touching Uncle Jesse's hair.
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Tuesday, August 25, 2009 - Time to Go Biking

Whoa Nelly. Babefest week is getting a little overwhelming for me. These babe pics are rocking my world- especially the throwback ones. Later in the week we may get some hunks of love for some of our lady readers- we'll see how that goes. I love how dated the style is, she's still babe- for sure, but there's something about it that's hilarious.

The Brewers are slowly heating up as well as the babes are getting hotter. I should've started this a LONG time ago. I wonder what the feeling is like in the clubhouse. Have they given up? Do they think they have a chance? Are they playing for pride? To get better? For personal stats? I'm not sure.
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Monday, August 24, 2009 - Bring it Carla

Do you know that if you move your right hand one set of keys to the right it sort of looks like you're typing German. Check it out: "Dp uin lmpw that of ipi ,pve ipir rogjt jme pver pme set pf leux ot ;ppls ;ole ipir tu[omg ger,am." Okay, I guess not entirely like German, but sort of like a different language. And speaking of Germans, how hot is Carla Bruni? I love her so badly. WAYYYYYY more than Manny Parra who is mostly garbage. Can we trade him please? Is the weekend successful if we just win 2 of 3 against the Nationals? I say no. We have to get some sweeps and a LOT of them.

I first listened to Carla Bruni's album about 2 years ago and thought it was pretty good and that she sounded dead sexy. And then my buddy sent me pictures of her and I was totally flabberghasted and blown away because she is even sexier than her songs and if she sang one of those songs to me wearing just Sarkozy's dress shirt I would have some issues. THEN, I found out she was married to Sarkozy. What a babe! I think she's all-time best most hot women for sure. Any complaints?

An actual baseball question- what are your thoughts on k's? Which is more nasty for a pitcher to throw? A heater where the guy whiffs? or a nasty curve where the guy is frozen?
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Sunday, August 23, 2009 - Babe Week Begins with a Win

Thank you Cindy for starting Babe Week off on the right foot. With a win. Sure. It was an ugly win. A sure thing win that turned into a nail-biter. Oh man we stink. BUT, and Cindy has a very nice one, Cindy Crawford is hot and still has got it. I'd marry her in 10 years.

How long do eggs last? I'm about to make breakslow and there's been eggs in my fridge for a LONG time. Do they go bad? I always eat them regardless of how old they are, but that seems like a poor approach. Similar to the Brewers approach to winning this year.

I think Babe Week is going to be a big hit this week. I really do. I'll keep everyone posted on traffic numbers. Hopefully we'll see some Marissa Miller, Kathy Ireland, Yasmine Bleeth, Carla Bruni- babe week might end up going til the end of the season.
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Saturday, August 22, 2009 - We are Logically the best

Okay. That victory does it for me. I'm convinced that we're a really good team masquerading as jokesters just to get everyone else's guar down. I think it's working. Nobody is scared of us anymore. And another thing, the Cardinals are 15 games above 500. That is so many! We are screwed.
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Friday, August 21, 2009 - I was there

Can you believe that image? Either can I, but it was true. And let me tell you, it was extremely scary for the passengers in the helicopter to withstand the fear. As the helicopter pilot I knew I was okay and could safely pilot the craft to a safety zone of safeness.

Do you know what's good about day offs? At least the Brewers can't lose! So we're making solid progress in the standings- gained a half-game on the Cubs. How come the AL has 14 teams and the NL has 16. What's up with that?
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Thursday, August 20, 2009 - Shark Week a Mistake

Now instead of being a friendly shark like yesterday, we are a dead shark. Shark Week was a big mistake obviously. I'll take the blame for this one. What I don't understand, among other things like why it's not easier to extract the salt from salt water, is how the Brewers.com website can so so optimistic. Brewers.com talks about all the hits and "Bourgeois' great grab." Who the heck is Jason Bourgeois? I've never heard of him.

It's tough to figure out what to write everyday when everyday it somehow just gets worse. :(
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Wednesday, August 19, 2009 - Friendly Shark

The Brewers are like a friendly shark. They let the worst teams in baseball beat them and feel really good about themselves. When you think about it- it's actually really big of the Brewers and is a testament to their integrity as nice, lovable losers. WHAT IS GOING ON???? How come we stink so bad? This is pathetic! I totally hate them right now. THREE (3) games below 500 is unacceptable. Good grief. The Brewers are making a mockery of shark week.
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Tuesday, August 18, 2009 - The End Is Near

Well that was a quick turn from optimism at having 46 games left and having a chance; to one day later, 45 games left and we're 9 games out and I'm thinking about giving up. This is bad, bad news. I think we're done.

Whatever though. How rad is that picture of a shark attacking a building? The answer of course is super rad. What sport do you think I have the best chance of becoming pro in? Not sure. Maybe baseball. I think when I have a kid I will make them become an NFL punter. Sure, it's not the coolest position, but it's a lot of fun- longevity, in the NFL, don't get injured, not too many people go for it. Is that weird that I'm already planning on pushing my kid towards that? I want to retire in 24 years. So if I have a kid in 2 years, then he can join the NFL when he's 22 years old. I think I'm on to something.
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Monday, August 17, 2009 - Shark WEEK!

News flash everyone. The Brewers are not out of it. Not remotely. There are 46 games left in the season! That is so many- it's 28% of the season. If we make up one game a week then we'll win the division by two games. There's a lot of work to be done though and that work mainly involves winning.

I thought the JS article today was a little dumb. Four outs away from winning but they're happy about it? What is that nonsense. That's a heart wrenching loss. Equivalent to if my girldriend said yes to a hypothetical marriage proposal and then mockingly threw the ring into the ocean las night after a fight that was HER fault. So what if I demanded that my old high school flame (now best friend) has a place in the wedding party. Naw, I'm just kidding. That never happened. But I just wrote that to give yesterday's loss some proper magnitude.
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Sunday, August 16, 2009 - Satisfaction

Oh yeah. This winning thing is tasting pretty good. Do we have a chance at the playoffs? I'm not sure. We are so far out at this point and the Cardinals and Cubs are playing well. Hopefully our team can just play one game at a time and see what happens. Crazier things have happened. Would be awesome if we have a chance in the last week. We just have to keep beating the Astros.
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Saturday, August 15, 2009 - All Grows Up

The Brewers are scoring runs and a lot of them. That's a good way to win the hearts and minds of all their fans again. Scoring and winning. We play Houston a million more times this year. Can we make some sort of pact that they help us out this year like we did for them so many times when they were in the playoffs?

Pretty quick turnaround time from asking the pops to popping the question time. I'm now batting a thousand on marriage proposals. Boo yah!
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Friday, August 14, 2009 - Unique feeling

Wait a minute. What just happened. Que paso? Oh yeah, we won. That was awesome. We only had to score twelve runs to ensure victory, but still is decent. I think that's what it's going to take the rest of the season. Basically we'll have to score a gazillion runs every game to win.

In other news, I think I'm going to propose this weekend. Hopefully this won't be the ONE time my girlfriend reads the blog. I'm living on the edge fo sho right now. I still have to do the whole ask the dad thing- if he will condone and bless me getting jiffy with her. Crazy. Oh yeah, how excited is everyone for the meteor shower?!
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Thursday, August 13, 2009 - We Salute You Bill Castro

Man oh man. Things got a little, actually a lot crazy yesterday. Hardy to the minors? Eating 10 milly willies on the goodbye to Bill Hall party. And then Bill Castro. The poor guy is the scapegoat of all scapegoats. I read the Attanasio comments and he said if the pitchers are underperforming you have to wonder why. He also said he was disappointed that the Brewers are letting down all the fans- whether at the stadium, watching on tv, listening on the radio, or monitoring on their communicators. What the heck is a communicator? Is that some next level technology that only super rich baseball owners have access to? Can I get one? Can he at least explain what it is?

But seriously, I feel bad for Bill Castro. I originally was going to put a pic of Fidel up, but Bill's pics are equally awesome and old school. The guy has been with the Brewers for 17 years. 17 years! It was his dream job and I think it was an impossible task this year with all the injuries and the pitchers stinking. I guess I don't really understand how a pitching coach can help, but I'm not sure the results would've been too different with Mike Maddux in charge. I hope we can find him a home in the org and don't kick him to the curb. Then again, it must be weird to get demoted.

And lastly, the net result was a big loss mainly due to our awful pitching and WALKING runs in. Tough times. There's still a chance, but tough times.
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Wednesday, August 12, 2009 - The World of High Finance

Alright, friends, Stanley Spadowski wrote in with a special request. Since Goldman Sachs, Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns, and Citibank have all proven themselves untrustworthy, the only place to turn to for financial advice is a website dedicated to self-urination and Brewers baseball. Makes sense.

Here's the sitch from Stanley: "I have a nice chunk of change that I don't need right now but will want available in about a year. Let's call it 30 large. So the question is, what should I do with this money for the next year? Something safe but that will get a little bit better return that just sitting in my bank's money market savings account, which gets about 0.5%. I'm not looking to make a killing with a stock pick, which could go up 20k or down 20k. But it would be nice to keep up or even beat inflation a bit. So what are the options? T-Bills? Bonds? Loans for the Grameen Bank? Don Lapre's classified ads? I need everybody's help."

Come on, PYPers, you're a smart bunch. What can we come up with for Stanley? This community is so much more than baseball. Oh, by the way, the Brewers really do stink with an absolutely embarrassing loss. Will that knock some sense into them?
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Tuesday, August 11, 2009 - Take it easy Kory

Kory Kozak's article on ESPN was a little too flattering: "'Confident' Braun driven to succeed." We get it Kory. You love Braun... a lot. But have a LITTLE self-respect man. He's like a groupie running around, following Braun on all the road trips. Telling him how awesome he is and that he's never wrong. If Braun were a band, Kory would be the groupie in the back.

That said. A team of Brauns and Gallardos would probably be the best team in the universe. 8 Gallardos and 15 Brauns. That would be sufficient.

Do baseball players clip their nails in dugouts? I know there's a lot of gross stuff that goes on in there- spitting seeds and dip, but clipping nails is an extra level of gross. That said, I'm about to do it in my office because I'm the only one here at the moment. Don't tell.
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Monday, August 10, 2009 - Mmmmmmmm

Did you know the Brewera have been shutout on four of Yovani's starts? What's up with that? Is that because the other team brings it hard against Yo? Or do our guys relax because they think Yo will do everything ie throw a shutout himself AND hit a dong.

I was at the State Fair yesterday and it was awesome. I ate so much healthy food like cinnamon ice cream with an apple square, cream puff, strawberry sundae, fresh chips, Italian sausage, an ear of corn, some fudge. I can feel the cavities forming in my teeth now. The beat part was some 4H kids doing a song and dance routine. They were going forever. One kid did a soli and his voice was crying and he ended with a high note that he went for and then everyone stared clapping and he bowed and was blushing and really proud and it get a little dusty for me. Other highlight? Seeng the pic of Braun pouring champagne on Sabathia as one of the best of the year.
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Sunday, August 9, 2009 - Kapiyah

That's more like it! The only problem is our run distribution. Why didn't we just score seven runs yesterday and transfer the other five to Friday? Duh!

But I guess that's okay. I was glad to see Tobey Maguire play so well. He doesn't get a lot of chances because mean gene mr. serious Kendall plays all the time. Rivera is a good man, despite that crazy email, like Charlie Brown.
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Saturday, August 8, 2009 - Look out below

Awww man. That was another tough one. I really thought we were going to do it, but we just plain and simple let them hit too many dongs. Ugh. I'm so tired too. I just want to parachute into the playoffs!
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Friday, August 7, 2009 - RIP John Hughes

Can we be honest about John Hughes? He's the best. Whenever one of his movies comes on tv- you always watch it. No matter what. And I mean that. One time my brother was really sick. He called me to go pick up some medicine for him and drop it off at his apartment. As I was walking out the door and turning everything off I switched the channel instead of pressing off. Guess what. It was Uncle Buck. And do you know what I did for the next 2 hours- I watched the movie- which was awesome. Less awesome was not calling my brother to tell him the movie was on. Medicine is way overvalued too. You don't need that.

Do you know who also is super awesome? John Candy! I can't believe he's dead too- it just makes me sad that we don't get to see him dance like he did in Uncle Buck with the crazy neighbor. Or talk about his "Polka, polka, polka" songs in Home Alone. Why is everybody dying? Michael Jackson, John Candy, and John Hughes!

BIG, big, BIG series this weekend- as big as John Candy- against the Stros. Let's flatten them like giant pancakes.
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Thursday, August 6, 2009 - Balanced again

Not bad to take a series from the team with the best record in Major League Baseball. Especially when our one loss was when our stud was pitching and we got absolutely tore up. Today is a good day as they say and it's mainly because the Brewers won. Also good, because everybody else lost. What a bunch of LOSERS! Can you believe those guys? Why don't they just win?

I'm worried about the next 20 games against sub-500 teams. Because we are pretty much a sub-500 team. Or we are close to being a super-500 team (is that what you call a better than 500 team)? Maybe you just call them a winning team or a team that has a chance at the playoffs. I suppose we do. I've been a little rattled.
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Wednesday, August 5, 2009 - Butt-Kicking

Uh oh. That wasn't what we wanted from our stud pitcher in the first inning. Checking Brewers scores is really a russian roulette. I checked early on- and we went down 1-2-3. Fine, that's how games start. I looked five minutes later and the Dodgers are still up. Another five minutes- we're down 3-0 and it's still the bottom of the first. Looked back later and we were down by a couple of runs. An hour after that- they have FOURTEEN RUNS?!?! How does that happen?

Funny how the brewers.com website tries to spin the game as the Prince getting mad about the beaning and not addressing that we got slaughtered. Hopefully the fight wasn't that big of a deal. Or maybe it was a big deal and he can take it out on the ball today. By hitting lots of dongs that is.
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Tuesday, August 4, 2009 - Get that appendix outta me!

Poor Corey. Had to get his appendix out. What's up with appendectomies? They just explode? That seems like a pretty bizarre thing to happen to humans- that an organ in your body can just explode. They were mainly useful when we were forager/gatherers, right? For digesting and breaking down grains and seed? Now we don't use them and they shrivel to nothing. All I'm saying is that it's a LITTLE bizarre- that an organ in your body will try to kill you. Best of luck recuperating Corey.

Kind of a weird game last night. We played well on offense, chipping away, adding runs when we could (nice dong by Braun), the game seemed wide open. And then Trevor? Back on the West Coast he got a little scared and nearly broke everyone's hearts. All's well that ends well.
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Monday, August 3, 2009 - Did our season explode this weekend?

Losing two thirds of your game in a month is not a recipe for making the playoffs or being a good team period. Unfortunately, that is what the Brewers accomplished in the month of July- the month of my birthday- the month of summer- and the month of baseball. Kind of depressing. That said, we have 2 months to turn this giant ship around. Unfortunately, we stink at the moment and can't string anything together. The goal in baseball though is to get hot at the right time and not get too low when you really stink. Fortunately, we're in the NL Central and though the Cards and Cubs are playing well right now- they still haven't taken off with the division. We have a chance. We can do it.

We just have to take baby steps of winning series one at a time. Day by day. Game by game. Play some ball and hit dongs all the time. Why did Corey Hart get injured? Because he's too tall. We need to push without him.
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Sunday, August 2, 2009 - Opposite of Unforgettable

Oh man. We really, really stink. 9-17 in July and now starting out August on a real banging note. Are we done? I think no. I still some hope left, but it's getting harder every day when we play like this. Our bullpen needs some rest, but we can never give it to them. Our starters need to pitch longer, but they stink.
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Saturday, August 1, 2009 - Pathetic

How could that happen? That 7-run inning was so awesome. Especially on 2 outs with Looper starting the pain! Batting around the order. The rest of the game was going so quickly and it was a sho thang. Then disaster struck. And we suck. And that loss really hurt my feelings. As a person this morning, I'm hurting. The team let everyone down- including me and it aches inside. That's what they say though, right? You got to get busy living or get busy dying. Right? Right? Who said that? The Fonz?
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Friday, July 31, 2009 - Safe!

What a slide by Cameron! The only thing cooler is if he would have slid headfirst from his first step. OR, even better, slid from 2nd base and rounded the curve sliding. That Old Spice commercial was mainly stupid, but a tiny bit good in a goofy sort of way. It was like a less manly version of those old stunt riders and Indiana Jones when they jump onto the horses of a runaway carriage or truck and then end up sliding beneath the chassis of the vehicle.

Bad reaction by the catcher. He was TOTALLY safe. Did he think it was a force out? Why didn't he block the bag. Dummy! The Brewers are decent again- now they have to prove it against difficult teams (which will naturally be difficult as we had enough difficulty with the "easy" teams). Here we go. Time to launch.
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Thursday, July 30, 2009 - This could be the start of something beautiful

What a night! These Nacionales are definitely way peskier than I would have hoped. Winning close games and playing all-around good ball is a much better indicator of future success however. This will bind the team and unite the clans.

How about Trevor getting nervous in the ninth? Whewie that was intense. Runner on with one out. I was shaking in my boots, but Miller Park sure was rocking so it's all good.

Quick shoutout to Pelotas- small town in Southern Brazil. I was looking at some of the Analytics for this site- and there have been 24 Brazilian visitors in the last month and NINE from that small town I've never heard of. I think sometimes foreigners get wind of this site because of the goofy name and then are disappointed to find out it's actually just about the Brewers. Sorry Pelotas.
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Wednesday, July 29, 2009 - Real Ugly

Enough said. 2nd pitch for a dong is awful. I feel bad for the Crew. Why do they stink so bad right now? Not much to say.

There goes Cousin Jon's prediction of making short order of the Nationals and making up some ground.
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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 - The Black Hole is Here

Saw the score early on- we were up 2-0. Things looked good. I was able to relax a bit. I thought my poll was stupid. OF COURSE we won't go below 500. Walk away and check back. Devastation. How could we allow that to happen? 6 and 7 runs? Totally embarrassing. We have got some serious work to do. One game below 500 is loser territory.

On a more uplifting note. Who Framed Roger Rabbit is an awesome movie. I need to watch that again. I think that and Dick Tracy are some of the two most radical movies. I really hope they hold up after all these years. Maybe I shouldn't watch them to prevent disappointment. Wait a minute- that's no way to live. I'm not going to live in fear. I'll rent them tonight or in the near future (4 months).
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Monday, July 27, 2009 - Cool Oakleys

Statistical analysis and prognostications courtesy of Cousin Jon:

Brewers stat: No one in the NL central has scored more runs than the brewers. No one in the NL central has allowed more runs than the Brewers.

Looking at this week's schedule, the Brewers have a four game series with the Nats (should clean up) while the Cubs and Stros go at it for 4 in Chicago. The Cards host the Dodgers for four. Which means? We could head into the weekend in pretty good shape, which we'll need. Start out the weekend pretty easy in San Diego, but then to LAD and then into Houston the following weekend for a big central series.

Brewers Mike addendum: I'm getting goosebumps.
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Sunday, July 26, 2009 - Yovani is... The Chosen One

Yovani (I never remember whether it's one or two n's) Gallardo (or 2 or 6 l's) can put confidence back into the Brewers really quickly. Seriously. This guy is so good. He's a one-man team. Nine of him would be unstoppable because he pitches so well that average fielders would be okay. And then on offense, the guy is no joke. Does he really do batting practice every day? What commitment! Do any of the other pitchers?

I can never get over why pitchers don't take hitting more seriously. Definitely when they were young'uns in high school they were stud hitters. And then they just waste away- like the Brewers were doing before Yovani pitched. This is the start of something special. I can FEEL it.

Shhhhhh, but Halladay is coming soon.
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Saturday, July 25, 2009 - 500 would be a better title

Three hundred plus two hundred is now our record. That stinks. What is going on with us? Why don't they just win more? Pretty awesome story watching the game though. Attanasio came into the booth and was talking to the announcers about all the prospects and how much he likes the team and all the players. Braun was up and they were talking about how good he is AND THEN HE HIT A DONG! IT WAS AWESOME!
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Friday, July 24, 2009 - Lot of Weird Dreams Lately

I never really know what to do on off days. Weird dream where I met with a friend's dad in his home office as a general sort of informational meeting about his job law. He had this big desk and we were sitting in comfy chairs. At some point the dad transitioned the meeting into an interview and was grilling each of us. He started asking this girl (who is an interior designer) really detailed questions about why she wanted to get into finance and she was having difficulty explaining and she started to talk quieter and quieter. The dad kept interrogating her and then told her to leave. A friend whispered, "kind of intense, huh?" I left the room for a little bit and when I came back everybody was still in the office with the shades drawn getting ready to leave for the airport. The dad took me aside and told me, "You missed a good one. There was even some crying."

I was like, get me out of here. Why am I not lucid dreaming? So I can control this and end up in the Brewers bullpen being the bada$$ they need on the mound. That's the next iteration of dreaming.
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Thursday, July 23, 2009 - Hollering at Shorties

I was biking to work today and am still recuperating from some beers I drank last night. I saw a nice little shorty on the corner so I thought I'd let her know I appreciate the effort she puts into being a fine lady and gave her a little holler. And by little holler, I mean I said shorty extremely quietly under my breath and then laughed hysterically.

Speaking of hollering at shorties- how about North Korea clowning Hillary Clinton? “We cannot but regard Mrs. Clinton as a funny lady as she likes to utter such rhetoric, unaware of the elementary etiquette in the international community,” the North Korean statement said. “Sometimes she looks like a primary schoolgirl and sometimes a pensioner going shopping.”

Oh snap! Also, the Brewers should not score so many runs and then lose by one. Why didn't we score at least 1, preferably 2 more? Secondary point- congrats to the 6 of you that knew Suppan makes the most. That man is rich! He should be twice as good as the Prince, but is not.
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Wednesday, July 22, 2009 - Clustered Again

What is up with our division? We're all in there so close together. Anything can happen. All we need is ONE hot streak to the top. I am loving what happened yesterday- everything went our way with the Cubs and Cardinals losing. We're creeping back up with Loop, Fiel, and Came dominating for the win.

How good is the Prince? His 2 rbi's were identical! Just little strokes to right field. What a stud. Shutouts are always good for the psyche. Do you knwo the Brewers always follow up shutouts with another game? Think about it.
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Tuesday, July 21, 2009 - Best Post Ever?

Wow. Felipe Lopez is one lucky man with that muy caliente wife of his. What a babezilla? I don't know why I haven't experimented more with xesy images. Also, I now know why Felipe is good at baseball- he has to impress that mamacita. I can't believe the Brewers finally lost to the Pirates. I thought that would never happen. I suppose an 18-game streak is pretty good against one team, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed we lost.

What's up with that fight in the first game of a series? Let's keep it going and escalate to a huge brawl today- and then an unprecedented full-stadium brawl on Wednesday!

Secondarily, I was pretty upset about the Crew losing until I watched SportsCenter and then saw the comedy of losers that was the Cubs. Then the Cardinals going down as well. The division is there for the taking fo sho.

Also, Kendall is totally the man. Dropping knowledge by telling the guy to either walk to first or fight the pitcher and then calling the coach the wrong name: "I just told him to go to first base or go to the pitcher," Kendall said. "It's baseball. There's no need to sit there and talk and this and that."
Both benches and bullpens quickly cleared but not much more than some screaming and shoving took place and nobody was ejected. Kendall got into a shouting match with Pirates pitching coach Joe Kerrigan, whom Kendall repeatedly called by the wrong name after the game despite being told of his real name.
"I was OK until Dave Kerwin started yelling at me," said Kendall, who ignored the correction. "I'm not going to get yelled at. He started yelling at me and . . . I'm OK until someone starts yelling at me.
"I don't know why (he was yelling). Dave Kerwin? I don't know why."
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Monday, July 20, 2009 - Bring it AC Slater

You wouldn't believe how hard it is to not find a relatively normal picture of Mario Lopez. Apparently he's really a hunk of love and people only take pictures of him when he's not wearing a shirt and flexing those abs of his. Seriously though, Felipe Lopez should be good for us. I'm very excited to have him on the team. I wonder if this is our big acquisition, or we're just getting started. I know Attanasio wants to win.

I was watching the game yesterday on tv. I went outside when it was 3-3 and lost track of time a little bit. When I came back and checked the score I was so angry. Thoughts in my head, "I hate the Brewers. They STINK!" Then I got over it and relaxed a bit. But that's how it goes- every day. It's exhausting. I can't imagine actually being a Brewer.
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Sunday, July 19, 2009 - Working Hard

This season is getting a little too intense for me. I was looking at the standings early yesterday and we were tied with the Astros and Cubs at three games behind the Cardinals. I was getting so nervous. Oh man, here we go. The season is coming down to this and to be honest, I couldn't take the pressure.

It's amazing what one win will do for you. I feel pretty, PRETTY good again. All it takes is one win and a Cardinals loss- and things are rosy. That happens three more times and we're first place. Sweet relief.
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Saturday, July 18, 2009 - What the muthaflippa happened?

That call was straight-up stupid. Stoopid with a capital big S. I feel a little bad for that poor ump who came up from the minors- is trying to prove himself and come up to the majors. And then he makes that call. That said, this is the big leagues for a reason. No excuses and if that call cost is a game against the Reds (the REDS!) we should rightfully kill the guy.

Then again, it could turn out the call was actually correct and I'll feel like a jerk. Quite honestly, I have no idea what the nitty-gritty rules are.
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Friday, July 17, 2009 - Back in it (the saddle)

You guys are pretty good guessers at figuring out that I'm 27, probably based on some simple math where I say I was born in 1982. Excellent work- to all 15 of you that voted- including my 3 brothers and Cousin Jon 4 times each. So thank you to the 3 random people. Oops, I actually voted once as well- so thanks to the 2 peeps out there that care. I'm guessing Connie and Markmotown.

Apologies for the late post. I was actually at a JOB INTERVIEW earlier today. What's so funny is I have PYPFTB.com on my resume as something super impressive. So when the 26 year-old CEO of this tech company looked at my resume. He asked what PYPFTB was and then he pulled it up on his computer. Good times! It's always a great sign when they giggle a teensy bit.

Great showing by the Crew. 9-6 is a really solid score- especially with the Prince hitting a 3-run dong. Very symmetrical.
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Thursday, July 16, 2009 - Begin the 2nd half of Begin

Okayyyyyyyyyyyyy. Time to start playing baseball for reals. We're really back into the grind of the season and the entire division is wide open. I'm always surprised at how short the All-Star break is. 3 days? And the All-Stars don't even get a break.

There's a lot of questions to be answered in the 2nd half: Can we find reliable starters? Can our bullpen maintain? Can Hardy and Hart provide some spark? Can I run in the Sausage Race as the Polish Sausage?
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Wednesday, July 15, 2009 - Bad Hosts

I think the Cardinals went a little TOO far in incorporating their logo into the All-Star game. They really had to make it all about them, huh? With a giant Cardinal sitting there. I really enjoyed the St Louis Arch mowed into the outfield- that was classy, but the logo and the constant adoration for Pujols was a little much. I actually was hoping Pujols would play the whole game so he's tired for next week.

The Prince really was awesome last night. When he first came up to pinch-hit I was thinking not very fair for the big man- only one at-bat. And then he just pummeled it to show how bada$$ he is.

What's up with the AL winning 12 of the last 13 (one fateful tie in MKE)? If it's a case of the AL actually being better, then how come the NL has won 5 World Series in that span. If anything, you'd think if the AL were truly better- they would be 13-0 in the World Series rather than the All-Star game. The All-Star game is only 1 game as opposed to 7. All-Star game should be fairly flukey considering how it's thrown together so last minute.
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Tuesday, July 14, 2009 - Just Crushing It

That was awesome. On a lot of levels. The Prince became the first Brewer to win it all. He did it in Pujols’ home stadium and then untucked his jersey when the job was done.

He was so emphatic in his dominance too. He slammed the four longest home runs of the competition and eight of the top 10, including a 497-foot blast in the first round and a 503-foot moon shot in the second round (his first ever dong over 500 feet).

And he clearly could have done more damage. After topping Cruz’s 16 in the second round, he took it easy. And in the finale, he had three outs to go when he hit the winning homer. What else was awesome? How about the celebrations with Braun and his little kids running around and the fact that the Brewers have such an elite slugger of the game. Pretty impressive.

Thanks for taking us to dongtown Prince.
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Monday, July 13, 2009 - Congrats to the Mad Hatter

Trevor Hoffman will now also be representing the Brewers in the All-Studs game. I like it. I forget which Trevor Hoffman nickname won first prize in the poll some months ago, but I do really like the Mad Hatter- based on Tea Time- which is what time it is when Hoffman's on the mound. He's a pretty bad mamma jamma for such an old guy.

How intense is this second half of the season going to be? Yikes! The NL Central is so tight right now. We're banging on each other and now the Giants and Rockies are running away in the Wild Card race. NL Central may only have one representative this year, but there's a lot of time to go. A month long hot streak would serve us nice right about now.
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Sunday, July 12, 2009 - Time for a break

I'm looking forward to the All-Star break. Not as excited as the Brewers, but I'm definitely excited. I wonder if I would prefer the baseball work schedule to my the regular 9 to 5 with three weeks off for the year. I think I could handle the intense summer with working 20 days in a row no problemo.

Wedding was pretty awesomely intense. They had a photo booth that pretty much became the make-out room as couples tries to do win with more outrageous pics. One guy crossed the line. Yikes! Okay- time for the Crew to take a series from the best team in ball.
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Saturday, July 11, 2009 - Wedding Season

What is up with all these weddings? I'm always going to weddings these days. All I want to do is watch the Brewers play every second of my life and play for them just for one pitch (or several seasons), but instead I am at quaint bed & breakfasts all across the country. Oh well. I think this is the start of something special. Big wins forever. For - eva! 4 Eva...
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Friday, July 10, 2009 - Sick to my stomach

Poor Parra. He makes a valiant re-entry to the Brew Crew and the team lets him down like that. That made me just sick. Sick to my stomach. What is going on with us? A really good, exciting, close game turned into a piece of crap much too quickly.

In other news- my brothers and I definitively saw Steve McNair's ugly murderer- and she was ugly. We all remarked, what the heck is Steve doing with that young ugmo. He can do better than that. "At just 19 years old, Sahel Kazemi thought she had it all: She was dating former NFL star Steve McNair, partying in VIP rooms and vacationing in Las Vegas" from this article.
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Thursday, July 9, 2009 - Panic Speed

Ask and ye shall receive. The videogame post yesterday asked for a big game from the Prince and boy did he deliver. An awesome diving stab stop followed by a throw from his butt. And that 2-strike hit with 2 outs? What a thing of beauty! You could see the Prince look over and get scared that Ryan had the ball and he was so deep in the infield- all the way in the outfield and he took some steps- and Prince buried his big little head and ran like the bulls were chasing him and the looping throw was coming in and then the Prince won the game and clapped his hands. That was so frickin' rad. I love how he called his speed "panic speed." Too funny.

And great work by Tea time as well- handling his biznass in the ninth after that scare. THAT was intense. This could be the start of something beautiful. Here's hoping.
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Wednesday, July 8, 2009 - Time to Bring it Prince

A big thanks to Big Ben for sharing that rad video of Prince Fielder dominating everyone on the baseball field. Miller Park looks really good in it and I love when he demos the catcher like he usually does on his in-the-park dongs. Here's the video again if you missed it. Now it's time for the Prince to play like that virtual bad mamma jamma and get the Brewers back on track.

Losing 5 of 6 is unacceptable. Losing this series to the Cards is unacceptable. Everyone has got to play their guts out for the next two days so we can catch up to those ladies in the standings. I am serious.
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Tuesday, July 7, 2009 - Lover's Quarrel

Sports stories get so out of hand so quickly. Melvin is such a wimp, acting like his feelings are hurt. What Braun said wasn't bad at all, just realistic.

What Braun said:
"They threw the ball a lot better than our starters did. All four guys we saw in this series are No. 1, worst-case, No. 2-type starters. They make big pitches in big situations. You're not always going to get hits in those situations."
Asked about the rotation missing Dave Bush (disabled list) and Manny Parra (demoted to the minors), Braun said, "Regardless of the reasons, we've got to find a way to throw the ball a little bit better for us to have success. When you're constantly behind in games, it's not easy and not fun."
Braun also pointed a finger at the offense during his assessment of the series, adding, "They certainly swung the bats better than we did as well. Clearly, they were the better team."

Melvin is an idiot for that badge comment. Make your point, but don't make Braun sound/look like a spoiled idiot and make him angry. He's a great leader for the club that clearly wants to win.

And an update on the Steve McNair experience. When my brothers and I saw him in Las Vegas- we did see him with this short, not-too-pretty, younger girl. We were all like, "Isn't he married...? Uh oh... I don't think that's his wife." Well, we're pretty sure that the picture that's been flying around in the newspapers is the same girl- which means- WE COULD HAVE STOPPED IT!!!!
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Monday, July 6, 2009 - It's My Wish

Curse ESPN for playing with my emotions this morning. I had SportsCenter on before heading to work and they were doing one of their My Wish segments. It was a little 6 year-old from Texas, huge Cowboys fan, with a big tumor in his chest. He went to a Cowboys practice with no hair and his favorite player is Marion Barber. Marion brought him on the players-only bus- taped up his little fingers for practice. And as I was lacing up my shoes- it was getting a little dusty in my room. Emotional start to the week.

And it doesn't look like it's going to get any easier with Teve back in the picture. BIG week with the Cards coming to town. Holy schnikes. Is this the season on the line now? Obviously not, but let's take care of business this week and assert ourselves. I love the Brewers so much.
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Sunday, July 5, 2009 - Time for a bloody Sunday

Six hits and nine ribbies? For mcgeeheheeee and Cameron? Good looking out guys. Way to kill it and shut up all those cubs fans. I know it's late, but I can't believe Steve McAir is dead. My brothers and I went to las Vegas for the super bowl last year. As we were checking in in the lobby we started whispering that McNair was in the building. Sure enough, it was him. We got in the elevator and as the door was closing Steve got in. We were pretty pumped and then out heads nearly exploded when he said what's up and told us to have a good weekend. He seemed like a really great guy and I loved watching him play. Really sad.
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Saturday, July 4, 2009 - Time to dance

What is going on? Why are we letting the cubs do this? Why aren't we dancing on their graves and end their season right now? I'm a little disappointed in the brewers ... And myself. I need to bring the same commitment that John travolta did to all his roles and dance moves.
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Friday, July 3, 2009 - It's Friday

i'm actually at a wedding right now waiting for the bride to walk down the aisle. I can get away with it though because my girlfriend is the maid of honor. Ha! I'm totally pulling a fast one on her. Do baseball players never go to any of their friends weddings because they're always working during the summer? It's a tough life for them. A lot of sacrifices. Uh oh canon in d is starting I've got to go.
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Thursday, July 2, 2009 - What up Milwaukee!!!

What a shame for señor Gallardo. He pitches a monster game, puts his heart on the line, says hi to all the kids, signs every autograph, does everything except provide his own run support. I love that young gentleman. If he pitches half that well we've always got a chance to win.

To be honest, I'm a little disappointed we couldn't entirely crush the Mets' spirit. I wanted the sweep bad, real bad. But a series win is a series win. Am I right? Right? Of course I'm right.

Keep running Yo!
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Wednesday, July 1, 2009 - Brink of Despair

Man, the Mets are just crumbling before our errors. I think you can actually see their shoulders slump an extra inch after each awful error; their spines turning into jelly; and the fight leaving their body. And I love that it's the Brewers doing this to them.

"Comedy of errors" "Season teeters after another fall" and some great alliteration from the always on-point New York Post, "SANTANA STRUGGLES AS MISERABLE METS LOOK LAUGHABLE IN LATEST LOSS"

Meanwhile, we're doing awesome. That Braun bases-clearing double was tremendous! And he just kept running! Like Forrest Gump.
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Tuesday, June 30, 2009 - Casey at the Bat

That guy is ridiculous! We're not even going to mention that dropped ball because it apparently makes him SUPER angry. Kind of a weird article in JS saying how upset he was about it- and the scream even after the grand slam. Dude is leading all rookies in batting, has had an extra base hit in the last 5 games, and is batting 378. Heyyyy... take it easy on yourself Casey.

Regardless it was really good to crush the Mets like that. 19 hits is impressive. And so is being in first place. Again.

Another great article in JS today- about the Pirates being jealous of the Brewers and how we can spend $28 more million on payroll. Because we have 3 million fans as opposed to 1.6 for them. Really kudos to Mark Attanasio. It is so awesome what he's built and the commitment he's brought to this team. If you're going to buy a toy (which is what franchises are for the richies), why wouldn't you want it to be a fun and awesome toy. I know a lot of the young guys were already in our system, but obviously Mark hasn't been shy about keeping them and splurging when he needs to.
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Monday, June 29, 2009 - Putt for it all

I don't even care about yesterday's result. Saturday was so frickin' awesome. I was playing golf with some friends Sunday at a nice little Par 3. We had a little wait for our tee time, so we went to the putting green and started playing skins- from hole to hole (we ended up playing 63 holes on the putting green).

Anyways, there was some banter going on. And one friend (who is not a Brewers fan) dared challenge a putt of mine that the Brewers season was riding on it. Obviously I nailed it, so I'm pretty sure the Brewers will win the World Series.

All these celebrities dying is really freaking me out. My brother has a theory that this is Armageddon and everybody is going to die, but first they're going to take our heroes to punish us. David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and now Billy Mays.
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Sunday, June 28, 2009 - No Lead is Safe for the enemey

And apparently no celebrities are either. Billy Mays is dead now too? This is getting out of hand.

But yesterday's victory was also out of hand. Truly what a game. Best of the season? It was so awesome and we battle so hard- and Prince brought us back in the 6th and then his obvious heroics in the ninth. The Cameron catch??? That was absurd. Everything about that game was awesome. The whole 9th inning rally was perfection. Battling hard- smart at-bats. Grounders into centerfield is the way to produce 2 runs.

I especially loved the Prince's celebration. After the players mobbed Corey Hart at home- they run to the Prince a little past the pitcher's mound. And he's just standing there with his arms outstretched like a teddy bear/Bill Murray tied to the sailing boat prow in What About Bob? and yelling, "I'm Sailing." It was so awesome. I loved how pumped everyone was for it.
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Saturday, June 27, 2009 - Yovanni Strikes Again

Yovanni is so dirty it's disgusting. Someone should hire Alma House Cleaners- her husband Javier and their 10 month-old to assist them with the cleanup job. They are going to need a lot of cleaning supplies (I can provide those) to clean him up. I really love that guy. I want to do a reality show about him titled, "I am so dirty." and it'll be all about the Milwaukee babes that are trying to get with him and I'll just be his doorman, "Hey Baby. Leave yoyo alone for a little bit. Why don't you chill with me for a little longer. Yeah, I produce his reality show- no big deal. Yeah, we're getting picked up on HBO, it's called 'I am so dirty.' You want to be in the title sequence? Maybe I could pull that off- let's see you dance."

WHOOOAAAA!?!?? What happened there? That took a real dirty and creepy turn too quickly. I grossed myself out.
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Friday, June 26, 2009 - Remember this?

This was so awesome I can hardly believe it. Really great comment by Connie yesterday pointing to the article about the Brewers being known around the MLB as having a fun clubhouse. That makes me love the Brewers even more and I do think it gives us a competitive advantage. Guys are having more fun. Baseball season is such a slog that other teams are jealous and are more interested in coming to our place. That said, maybe they're having too much fun rather than dominating games all the time.

Bringing up Connie again. You know how there are some names that can go either way- Pat, Terry, Sam, Jamie, and Ronald. There aren't too many females around this site- so I've been curious as to whether Connie is a man or a WOman. My old neighbor was Connie Pagedas- a woman. But there's also this super famous old-timey guy: Connie Mack. Head to the polls for your vote.

The way we're playing now though, it looks like we might be in jeopardy of repeating that party. What's up with us? We, and the whole NL Central, stink!
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Thursday, June 25, 2009 - Why So Serious???

This is a special and especially awesome verbatim report from Cousin Jon:

This picture is awesome. Kendall never smiles. I feel like, in this picture JJ is saying "are you serious? Did you just see what happened? It was ridiculous! And you're still not going to smile, are you? Unbelievable... I'm smiling."

I went last night again and it was a billion times more fun that Tuesday. Also, we were ripping on Gardenhire for sending Blackburn up to bat in the 8th. Turns out we were right. He's a fool for not knowing how to coach in national league play.

Thank you Cousin Jon. Also, poll's fixed.
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Wednesday, June 24, 2009 - HOOOOOOOO

What a guy! This is in honor of the king of the sidekicks- Ed McMahon. I love this picture because he's so classy and reserved and deferring to Mr. Carson. He's the man in this- like Scottie Pippen to Michael Jordan back in the day or Charles Oakley to Michael Jordan for the last decade. Did you know how awesome Ed McMahon was? He was a Marine Corps pilot in both WWII and the Korean wars, co-hosted the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson for 30 years, hosted Star Search for 12 and was a Budweiser spokesmen for over two decades.

Ed McMahon is pretty much the opposite of the Brewers right now, who stink. They need to get inspired by Ed.






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Tuesday, June 23, 2009 - This Picture Makes Me Happy

I think we can all admit that this is one of the coolest/most emotional home run trots of all-time. I like how it comes from JSOnline's dong tracker of all Miller Park dongs and this is the most exceptional dong of all time at Miller Park. You can feel the party time surging through his veins.

Why aren't we in first place anymore? This is getting a bit ridiculous. Time to execute.

More bad news- my brother had HIS bike stolen. He had his wheels stolen a month ago. 9 days ago he bought a $99 bike from Kmart for those wheels and you know what. It got stolen. :( Where do all these bikes go? There should be a special ring in hell for bike thieves. Except for bike thefts on small colleges- where it is okay to once in a while "borrow" a ride after a late night on the town.
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Monday, June 22, 2009 - Miller's Park is Noah's Ark

Those fiery storms really unleashed a whupping on Miller Park. Good thing Wisconsin has practice with Noah's Ark- America's Largest Waterpark nearby. I'm always surprised that Noah's Ark was built in Wisconsin where it can be used 30% of the year. Seems like a not-optimal location.

I nearly drowned in the wave pool as a young Brewers fan, but somehow survived. The other thing I remember is how your feet would get so numb after walking/running around barefoot all day.

You want more waterpark memories? What about how disgusting finding a band-aid in the pool was. One time my brother placed one on my shoulder after I got out of a pool and I'm nearly vomiting writing this now. Or- the waterpark Surf'n'Turf that was built close to Milwaukee. My brothers and I went for a fun-filled afternoon and we had to leave early when my younger brother pooed his pants. I still resent him for that.
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Sunday, June 21, 2009 - Luke, you are my father

You know, you try to be positive, you try to get angry, and sometimes things just get a little mixed up. If you're not careful, you end up on the dark side getting your mords wixed calling your enemy son your father cause your lonely on father's day. But let's be real... worst case scenario we have a .500 road trip, best case 4 of 6. We'll take that. Happy Father's Day. When I see my dad today, the first thing I'm going to do is play "America" by Neil Diamond and thank him for not being Vader. We'll see you at the Twins series.
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Saturday, June 20, 2009 - Angry Like a Fox

If you didn't figure out yesterday, this is Cousin Jon. Brewers Mike is off this weekend. One of the things you'd probably notice about me writing is that I like to say things like the "Tigers are about to get hit with the 10 run storm" and blah blah blah. It's true. I'm a little supersticious about the Brewers. When cool things are happening I tend to think it will translate to a winning Brewers performance. It's a dangerous move because it makes me very angry when they lose. Last night was a perfect stormy night to continue the offense, but it turned out the Tigers had the big bats. Not us. And like "Stay Strongs" commented yesterday... we never play well on Fox Saturday baseball. Fox appearances have been cases where I've been real excited for the crew to have the opportunity to show a bigger audience how they can play, but they always seem to end up playing HORRIBLE. and that makes me ANGRY. I'm not scared of Foxes or Tigers, but I am angry about the possibility that I might be angry again this afternoon. Don't make me angry, Brewers. DON'T MAKE ME ANGRY
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Friday, June 19, 2009 - Shock of the Lightning

Wicked bad thunderstorm in Milwaukee last night. Flash flooding, tons of thunder and lightening, and a little bit of hail according to local unofficial weather reporters. I had my window open and the thunder sounded amazing. Like it was ripping across Lake Michigan, racing to echo off the US Bank building. Akip, akipidy-kipidy-kipidy-kipidy-kaBOOOMMM goes the dynamite. Hopefully it was an indication of the 10 runs per game offensive storm that is about to hit Detroit City this weekend. Clash of the bizarro Central Division Leaders.
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Thursday, June 18, 2009 - Get the Broom Ueck!

What a way to sweep the series. A little unnecessary drama, but all's well that ends well. That adversity for the team can be good sometimes- really drive guys together. Hardy said, "It would have been a long bus ride to Detroit if we had lost that game. This will be a lot better." What? Do they really drive from Cleveland to Detroit? I would want to fly fo sho. Though their bus must be nice.

I was listening to the Ueck on the radio and he had a real doozy of a story that took three innings to tell. Uecker was chilling with Luis Vizcaino and Geoff Jenkins (when they were on the team several years ago) and somebody asked Luis if he knew Geoff's name by pointing at Geoff. Luis' reply was "Cinco" and then Geoff got upset that Luis genuinely didn't know his name. Good stuff.

Some other good stats from last night's game. We scored 30 runs in 3 games. Not only did Stetter record his first major-league save, he set a franchise record by recording 11 consecutive outs over five outings via strikeout. I'm a little worried about Trevor. What's going on? Is the juice running out for him? See the poll question.

Was the headline, "Say it ain't So-sa" used in every newspaper? Did nobody use it? I should get a Pulitzer for that if I'm the first.
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Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - The gift that keeps on giving

Last night was incredible too. Let's get everyone producing. Please check out the poll and answer- I'm going to be doing some market research for another next-level web idea.

Two more awesome stories about the ruckus that was Monday night's 14-12 victory.

The first from Cousin Jon: I had a really great time watching the game last night. It was one of those weird summer baseball nights for sure. I had the windows open with a nice breeze coming through... As perez was in his set position, about to hurl, I heard the bar across the street erupt into cheers. I thought it was maybe just a crazy bar noise for whatever crazy bar action was happening, but then as he released the pitch I realized I was on a slight delay and that I was about to witness Princes first grand slam.
It was one of the coolest things ever. all within 15 seconds

Pitcher set position
Crowd noise
"why are they cheering?"
release
realization
grand slam

prince and braun's punch out celebration was also off the charts

And then a text message I received: "Haha pat and I tricked you it's not our birthday. oh wait, the brewers won 14-12 cause it's our birthday"
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Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

So many amazing "Whoa" pictures could be used for this game and win! The Keanu Reeves Matrix Whoa is actually a total undersell of the game. I want more of a Patrick Swayze in Point Break acting crazy Whoa. Or Wayne and Garth Whoa- WHOAAA!!!! The Prince and Ryan Braun accounted for 11 McRib sandwiches!!! What????

Some more congrats are in order: to Markmotown for writing a comment longer than the entry! and to my little brother for coming up with today's poll- he just thought it was an awesome quote a la Boom Goes the Dynamite, until I explained the poll answers don't make much sense.

With Braun scoring 4 runs himself, he and the Prince were responsible for all runs. That Grand Salami was devastating. The first of the big man's career couldn't have come at a more righteous time. The Crew was so far out, but kept battling. Down 12-7, down 8-3, down 300-nothing- but our boys didn't quit.
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Monday, June 15, 2009 - Spinning our wheels

What is going on? Trevor Hoffman blew a game? Unreal. I think we're all right though. Even after this crazy slide- we are still in first place. Let me say that again, we are still on sole possession of first place. Obviously if we keep playing this way we won't go anywhere, but down. BUT, the other teams have been playing so bad- they have to be kicking themselves for not making up more ground or surpassing us.

We were hitting the ball well yesterday- especially Corey and Ryan. So we'll see if we can stop spinning our wheels in the dirt- and actually start gaining some traction.

Speaking of traction- a friend brought their dog over this weekend- for some reason they really wanted their dog to meet my cat. For the longest time, they were just chilling- not really noticing each other. The cat started to sneak up on the dog- just to check him out more. As soon as the dog noticed the cat- the chase was on. Running around corners- intent to kill- and like a cartoon- spinning their paws and nails every time they tried to cut a corner. It was hilarious. But now my cat is dead- it got eaten. Just kidding. She's alive after I dropkicked the dog out the window like Jack Black did in Anchorman. You got served!
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Sunday, June 14, 2009 - Poor Parra

Poor Parra pitches his way into the minors. Ouch. That's pretty rough. What's the matter with this guy? Why can't he dominate? He was pretty good last year. He has the stuff. He has imploded. I hope his confidence isn't completely shot and that it's a short stint in the minors.
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Saturday, June 13, 2009 - We are the Champions

It's awesome that I got to use Queen twice in the last 3 days and it's sort of applicable. First of all, of course we're not actually champions, but that was a big win. A huge relief. Awesome hitting. Early on, when we were down 2-0 I was upset at Soup and everyone in the world. I was in a bad place. But then we dominated and the players were as pumped as lifting up the trophy.

Could there be any better feeling than lifting up the Stanley Cup? Man, that must be the ultimate. I love how each player gets the trophy for a day- and the crazy things they do partying with it. I bet some really nasty things have gone on inside that bowl. So congrats to Pittsburgh and the Kid (not Robin Yount) for bringing one home to our brethren city.
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Friday, June 12, 2009 - Turn Around

Hey Brewers, I have a quick announcement for you guys. You're supposed to WIN games. Naw, I'm just messing around. They know what's going on. I'm not too worried about them. They're trying/playing hard and just coming up a little bit short. No time to panic. Time to win.
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Thursday, June 11, 2009 - Another One Bites the Dust

Man, Queen is so awesome. Better than the Brewers at this point. They're so prophetic with their song about the Brewers blowing leads so far in the future. I remember jamming to this album so hard back in my old house on Midland Drive in Greendale. I would go into my dad's office where the stereo system was (this is in the mid-80's when CD players were still kind of a big deal), plug in his super awesome headphones, lay on the shag carpet and go on a little journey with Freddie Mercury and company. Flash and Bicycles were two of my favorite songs. Did Wayne's World ruin Bohemian Rhapsody? I think it did for the first couple of years, but the song and that scene have stood the test of time.

What's up with the Brewers right now? This is getting worrisome. Who knew that the Rockies would be such a flipping buzzsaw and just rip us apart. Not the way you want to start a homestand, right? Oof. My favorite thing to say is time to get back on track, and it's that time. Time to get back on track.
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Wednesday, June 10, 2009 - Another Blown Lead

The Brewers, fresh off a 3-4 trip on which they held the lead at some point in all seven games, had a lead for much of their series-opening game against the Colorado Rockies on Tuesday night at Miller Park. But as they did four times during that trip, the Brewers lost the lead and the game, 3-2. What a terrible statistic! To lead in all the games and then blow it so soundly. I'm severely disappointed in these guys. Yes, we're still in first place, but this bullhonky. We've got to step it up and finish games. Be the Closer like Kyra Sedgwick, who is not as good looking as her mother Edie. Don't believe me? Look it up.

Secondarily, if you have some time, YouTube slow-motion water balloons. It is truly incredible. As most of you know, most things are extra awesome in slow-motion- cheetahs running, guns shooting, glass breaking, birds flying, someone getting slapped...
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Tuesday, June 9, 2009 - We're all entrepreneurs

What a difficult word to spell? I had to spell it out in slow-motion just to make sure I didn't make too many mistakes. Are you guys digging Prophetic yet? I bet all the Brewers love this guy because they're living the same life, "Mo Profit, Mo Progress." Bam!

A fun series in Colorado this week. Hopefully we can take advantage of the mountain air and bash like 3000 dongs- setting an intergalactic all-time record.

And Greg P zinged me real good yesterday in the comments. That's good Greg, because that's what I imagined life would be like after this blog took off. Everyday would be a Coors Light commercial. Sadly, Cousin Jon and I will need to start a new venture to hit those heights. I'm sure the people seeing you wear the shirt were like, "Ewwwww" or, even more probable, the shirt never even registered on their radar.

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Monday, June 8, 2009 - Big Ups to Big Ben!

I went out to a Thai restaurant Friday night with some friends, of course wearing my one of a kind PYP hoodie with the 07 design placed on top. As we're waiting for our table in the entry area, another group is leaving and one of the patrons is looking at me a little funny. He walks past me to leave then takes a step back and asks if my sweatshirt is for the blog Pee Your Pants. I tell him, "Not only is this for the site- I INVENTED the site."

Ben and I are both getting pretty excited at this point. He pulls his friends over, "Have you heard of this website? Pee Your Pants For The Brewers. It's great." My friends think I planted this guy at the restaurant to impress them, but it is legitimate. Ben checks the site 3-4 times a week and has it in his Google Reader account- that's big for me.

All in all, really fun exchange. The second time I've been recognized while wearing PYP gear. As promised Ben, this is your shoutout. Keep kicking ace.

Do any of you have any fellow PYP pledgee recognition stories while proudly wearing your gear in public? Please share- it warms the soul.
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Sunday, June 7, 2009 - Hotlanta!

I love Hotlanta!
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Saturday, June 6, 2009 - Go-Yardo is such a stud

Apparently it's animal week at PYPFTB, but our guys are performing like superhumans with awesome animal spirits inside of them. Hasbro should make a new Transformers line this summer (or maybe next summer for the next blockbuster)- with Brewers players that are robots that turn into ANIMALS. Yovani would be the stud horse with the huge ____. Yeah, that's right. That's what he's like out there on the mound.

We needed a big pitching effort to get out of the slump- and Yovani is the first pitcher in the last seven games to go past six innings. Kapiyah. The man was untouchable. I really like him a lot.

And Mat Gamel? Also awesome. Not bad when the pressure's on to hit 3 ribbies. Bil Hall was like, "Awwwww man!" The funny thing about pro athletes (except Gagne) is that they never think they're in a slump- they always think they'll get a hit next tie. Bill Hall just wants to get back in the game fool!
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Friday, June 5, 2009 - The Prince is a beast

Keep running Prince! I love when he gets triples. Funny how the Marlins commentator was so disgusted with the whole play. "With your pitcher playing like this in a close game, you cannot let him down like that. Prince had a double for sure, but should have been out EASILY at third if they don't botch the relay."

What I don't get is why that counts as a triple and not an error. Obviously it wouldn't have been a triple if the guy plays it safe, just an outfield single. I know you don't penalize players with errors for not making spectacular plays, but that was an error and cost the Marlins a run.

The Prince was our total offense yesterday and it was not enough. Here's hoping our pitching gets back on track against Hotlanta. I want to see some pitchers going deep into the 7th and 8th innings.
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Thursday, June 4, 2009 - The Nasty Man

Trevor Hoffman is so nasty- it's ridonculous. My brother just said a jerky comment that he feels Trevor could collapse though. That closers get on hot/lucky streaks and can lose it like Turnbow or stop doing steroids like Gagne. Whatever, he's the real deal.

Bad pitching stats so far in this series with no pitcher going past six innings. "By covering only 23 innings in those five outings, the starters left an overworked bullpen to fill the other 20," from Journal Sentinel. Not good at all. What a crazy 5th: In a fifth inning that took 51 minutes to complete and included 94 pitches, the teams sent 21 batters to the plate, combining for 10 runs on eight hits, five walks and three errors.

How about 2 Live Crew? Was this album cover super controversial when it came out? I just think it's awesome. I love those ladies.
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Wednesday, June 3, 2009 - See you later Julio (down at the schoolyard)

That was quick. Or for that matter, two things were quick. First, the Brewers released Jorge Julio and ate the rest of his $950k contract (which has to be awesome if you're a player. You get fired and still make $950k). I think the management let him go because of the venomous comments on this site. No doubt they're listening to what Markmotown and Connie have to say.

The second thing that was quick was the Brewers getting swamped and destroyed yesterday. That game was over relatively early and kept getting worse. What's up with Parra? Sometimes he's the man, and sometimes he stinks like sweaty balls. I don't get it.
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Tuesday, June 2, 2009 - LeeeeeeeeeROY Jenkins

Obviously a bad game yesterday. Well not even a bad game, just a bad inning. Everyone's been talking about it. Even with it though- we had a great chance to win.

It was like Leroy Jenkins' suicide mission. Watch this video if you have the time. It doesn't make any sense, but the dorks are awesome.

What's up with the Marlins? Nobody goes to their games, but they're super good every once in a while. Would you want to have a team like that? I say no. Fun for the executives, but I would say 1 of their World Series victories means less to the people involved than the Brewers making the playoffs last year did to the entire organization and fan base. But, I guess they're different styles and different goals.
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Monday, June 1, 2009 - RIP Big Chin

This doesn't have much to do with baseball except Jay Leno is awesome and so are the Brewers. I watched the last Tonight Show with Jay Leno and got a little teary-eyed along with Iron Jay. I used to watch Jay Leno at the foot of my parent's bed for about 8 years. It was the BEST. First off, the interview with Conan was pretty weird as it was just an introduction to Conan and hardly an interview. The camera barely showed Jay at all. And Conan looked really old (he's 46) and like he's had lots of plastic surgery. I liked when he got a little choked up showing all the kids he's fathered. That is a lot.

The Brewers really put poor old Cincy in their place, huh? Embarrassing for those young whippersnappers.
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Sunday, May 31, 2009 - Top That

We are a just a LITTLE too good when we're hitting all those dongs. I almost feel sorry for the poor Reds. PSYCHE!














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Saturday, May 30, 2009 - The Circle of Life

Great win last night by our guys. Big kudos to Looper for pitching such a great game after his grandpa's death. I thought the Journal Sentinel had a somewhat funny take on it though, "That set the stage for Hart, who can sympathize with Looper's feelings, because he left the Brewers at the end of the 2005 season for the death of his grandmother."

I don't mean to be crass or insensitive here, but can't EVERYONE sympathize with Looper and Hart? Haven't most of us had a grandparent that has passed away- or we will eventually. Also, somewhat surprising that the most recent example they cold find is from 4 years ago in 2005.
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Friday, May 29, 2009 - My MOP!!!!

You know in UHF, when Stanley Spadowski is getting interrogated by the network thugs, and he sees his mop in the corner- bathed in glowing white light. He reaches down deep inside himself, screams, "My MOP!!!" and breaks through the chains holding him down. He then grabs the mop and does some awesome light saber fighting to save the day and the UHF station. I have fantasies about that moment and seeing my bike on the streets. And to tie it into the Brewers- when we'll get our hitting back.

I've been scouring the streets since the stolen bike incident with my eyes peeled. Ready to pounce on any person I see riding even a somewhat similar bike. I even dreamed that I saw it last night. I knew it was a dream though and wouldn't allow myself to get too excited, though possibly a premonition? At least a premonition of the Brewers getting back on track. I think these are related- bike and losing.
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Thursday, May 28, 2009 - Was Zoltan/Cousin Jon right?

So Cousin Jon made a prediction last night and then we debated his accuracy. Cousin Jon's prediction: Hardy really mashes wellemeyer. hopefully he is recovered enough to spark the offense today.

The discussion: Two men on, two outs, down one. JJ is up. He's already 3 for 4 today. Hard groundout. We lost. Jon, you either kinda called it or almost called it.

Cousin Jon's Rebuttal: I actually think I did call it. His hit in the 4th did spark the only two runs we scored, which were off Wellemeyer. But because he failed to come through in the 9th, it seems like it wasn't called or only partially called. If he had hit in the winner, technically I wouldn't have "extra", "way" or "totally" called it, it just would have seemed that way.

Second rebuttal: Jon, while I understand that it put you in a difficult situation, JJ being up in such a mega situation automatically -- fair or not -- means that that at bat will determine if you called it or not. If JJ hits a game winning double, it's one of the all time great calls for a regular season game.
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Wednesday, May 27, 2009 - Bad Day

Not only did the Brewers get smushed, but my bike got stolen yesterday. Ooooo- you cannot contain my anger right now. I hope I see this motherflipper out on the streets and I will tackle him in a rage of fury. And then it won't be my bike, just one that looks like it, and I'll feel like a real douche.

Brewers weren't too hot either. We were kind of close after the Prince sacrificed that guy in, but he needs to hit a grand salami there instead- or should we have produced more runs at the least with one out and runners on 2 & 3.
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009 - Get Off the Field!

Wowzas. What a game last night. There was so much excitement going on and the game was so important and they played so well- it's tough to remember everything. Gallardo and Carpenter were nasty dirty- throwing a no-no and perfect games respectively. And then it got intense with the division lead on the line. And then my main man Billy Hall came to the plate against a righty.

And then Senor Hall hit a huge hit and sprinted, SPRINTED!, off the field as soon as he touched first. Running to the dugout to celebrate with his dogs and Corey Hart's kids in the dugout. Super funny celebration and reaction to the hit. I can understand it if it were an away game, but it was at home and there were thousands cheering him on.

The pitching duel reminds me of a golf duel my brother and I had earlier in the day at Lincoln Golf. This is how good of golfers we are, we were tied going into the ninth hole and he ended up beating me by 4 strokes, even though he got an 8 on the hole. We were tied 6-6 on the green, with equidistant putts, and I collapsed. Billy Hall I am not. But like Billy Hall I will forget about my past and 1 for 28 recent history against righties and DESTROY my little brother next time.
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Monday, May 25, 2009 - Witch's Broom

It was a sweep! But it was the wrong way. Disappointing series for the Crew obviously. Losing a series once in a while is okay, but getting swept is not prudent. I was doing a search for a witch's broom and this awesome galaxy came up that looks like a broom. Enjoy it Mat Gamel.
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Sunday, May 24, 2009 - Verboten

I was planning on using terminator salvation today after the brewers won last night but we didn't win and were unable to salvage ourselves. Now it's time to save the series on Sunday night baseball on espn and let the national audience know we are legitimate.
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Saturday, May 23, 2009 - Skidmarks!

Ouch. That one hurt quite a bit. What happened to the Parra-dactyl? He got destroyed is what happend to him. What's up when you see skidmarks like those on the road? How do kids skid so much? so far? and so curvy?

My cousins are the masters of these skidmarks. They grew up in Red Granite, WI and when I visted them, we'd go drive around and make skidmarks. It was super fun.
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Friday, May 22, 2009 - That's More Like It

The PYPFTB Executive Committee got a pretty awesome email invitation last night to an annual family tailgating party. The email discussed the tradition of the family and friends outing, some specifics, and then a final footnote.

EXPLANATION: Don't know why you're getting this? It's entirely probable that I met you in a bar, and we discussed this in a drunken state. That, or you're just a friend of mine whom I'd like to invite to our annual family baseball outing in Milwaukee. Or maybe you run a web site that encourages people to wet themselves if the Brewers make it to the playoffs. Whichever the case may be, consider yourself invited, and let me know if you'd like to join our motley crew.

That was awesome. So big daps to TJG for the invitation and the shout-out. Much appreciated. It was almost as awesome as the Brewers win last night. What a toss by Braun! What hitting by Corey! What a shut-down by Trevor!
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Thursday, May 21, 2009 - Wait, What Happened?

What happened last night? How come at the end of the game we didn't have more runs than the other team and our shirts weren't untucked? Oh well, that's the way it goes I suppose. I'm really digging Ken the Macha Man Savage. First of all, he had that great citation of Rule 34(c) subsection Root II.5. After an Astro led off with a single, Macha marched out and reported that that dude was batting second on the submitted lineup card. So the guy who was actually listed as leadoff was out and the dude that got a hit had to hit again! Crazy, right?

I also like that Macha kept his word to Hall about letting himself prove himself against righties. Too bad he didn't do it and complete the super shweet comeback. You've got one more game to prove yourself Hall.

And last thing I like? Mat Gamel is keeping it real. I'll lend him an extra T whenever he wants it.
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Wednesday, May 20, 2009 - 1 + 1 = Brewers are the best

We're going to let one of our statheads dive into the numbers today. Let me preface it by saying I don't know how much better this can get.

The improvement in taking walks this year has been astounding -- it's almost entirely the change in offense. This year they are 12th of 16 NL teams in BA but 4th in OBP and 3rd in SLG, which leads to 4th in runs when last year they were 12th in BA, 10th in obp, 5th in slg and 7th in runs (just above average offensively). (-1pt BA, +27pts OBP, +5pts SLG, and about half a run per game more than last year). If macha is at all responsible for the plate discipline, I'm pretty happy with him.

Of course the pitching is 2nd best in runs allowed (4th last year, but basically the same effectiveness) in spite of losing CC and sheets. I guess that will happen if your worst starter (suppan) puts up close to an average ERA and your bullen is great. I don't know if the group of starters can keep it up though. Trevor should end the year with a zero ERA though.
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Tuesday, May 19, 2009 - The Ultimate Sweep

Incredible excitement yesterday tempered by some really bad news. Bad news first I suppose. Poor Ricky. I know everyone really does feel awful for him. There were seasons past (and this is bad), where I actually wished he had been injured so the Brewers management could pull the trigger and replace him. Not this year. Rickles Months has been strong and performing all season. Journal Sentinel chose a hilarious picture for the story- Rickie too is in disbelief. Hopefully CC and others can step up for him.

Others like Mat (One T) Gamel. HOLY CATS! That was exciting for the new guy. A lot of awesome texts were flying around like, "UNBELIEVABLE!!!! MAt gamel homers!!!!" and "i loved seeing this on the yahoo box score THE HOME RUN BY MILWAUKEE'S MAT GAMEL IN THE THIRD INNING WAS THE FIRST OF HIS MAJOR LEAGUE CAREER." Very good stuff. The sweep of St. Louis was impressive and most ulitmate. We clowned those guys. Keep it going full steam.

And even more good news. Congrats to Markmotown for bringing in the newest PYP pledgee- a baby girl! She's obviously a real trooper and will be fulfilling the pledge daily for a while to show her support.
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Monday, May 18, 2009 - Rocksteady

I wish the playoffs could start today so we could just win the World Series and get it over with. It's so unbelievable how we just keep winning and winning. Everyone is playing so solidly. Craig Counsell turned into Babe Ruth for us- or at least the kid from Rookie of the Year. The Parra-dactyl is back to being a stud pitcher. Really impressive.

We have to be breaking records at this point. We just assured the 9th consecutive series without a loss. Amazing. Here's hoping Rickles Months is okay. Amazing that I actually really do want him to be okay (unlike last year).
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Sunday, May 17, 2009 - Corey did it again!

This is getting silly. We are really good. What a close, awesome, intense, important, serious game. Oh man. I love these guys so much. So great to see Soup step it up like that. This is the 6th time in franchise history the Brewers have collected a W with one or 2 hits. And T Time has been perfect.

Was Goonies the peak of Corey's life? I'm sure all the hot 80's celebrities he got with was pretty good. And to be honest, even if it was his peak- that's an awesome peak. Maybe today was Corey Hart's- besides getting beer sprayed on him and his little kids.
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Saturday, May 16, 2009 - You Down with OPP(d)

What's up with that PPD? I love seeing that. That means day off for our guys. Unfortunately it's coming when they're RED hot. That's okay St Louis. You get another day before the destruction rains down on you from above.
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Friday, May 15, 2009 - We're Good. REALLY Good

What is going on with us? We're like a broom factory over here. Going into this series, Florida was pretty good. Now they're little babies. We took their hearts out and ate them a la indy's nemesis in temple of doom.

Oh man, this is so rad. Also, big shoutout to Cousin Jon who bizarrely challenged himself to run 300 miles in 30 days. Today is day 29 and he has 14 miles to go. I personally think he's a liar and that it's nearly impossible to do it, but he's kept a Google doc. We should get the Prince to run with Cousin Jon.

Now is the real test though. Headed on a 3-city 9-game road trip. First stop, St Louis. Let's crush them.
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Thursday, May 14, 2009 - Bless Your Soul

There are two things that really warm my heart. The first, of course, is a Brewers win. And the second, is seeing an abundance of Chatter in the Comments section. Oh, and I bet all you commenters are such nice, handsome young men. Let me get a closer look at you. My how you've grown! [do you get that a grandma wrote that?].

The Brewers are the best, this is getting ridiculous how good we are. No deficit is too large. No dong can be one dong too many. Just performing.

This is the best time in the world to be a baseball fan- a stretch like this where everything is going right and winning is the expectation. Keep it hot.
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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - Keep Kicking the Dog

After going 0 for 10 against the Cubs, the Prince roared back with two 2-run dongs. Very nice. From JS: "This is how it goes," said Fielder, who joked about going home and kicking the dog during frustrating times in the past.

What? Is that an appropriate joke? I don't really care. Because if it's true, it's working. Dude can kick the dog all he wants just like Jack Black kicking Baxter off the bridge.

Do you know how that scene unfolds? Obviously it's a bit silly to complain about the plotting of Will Ferrell movies, but Ron Burgundy is riding in his car talking to his dog while eating a burrito and then throws the burrito OUT the window at Jack Black on a motorcycle. Jack crashes and exacts his revenge by kicking Baxter. That's Syg Feld 101 guys.
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Tuesday, May 12, 2009 - I Am a Catwalk

Just in time for the one-fifth point of the season, the t-shirts are finalized. Thank you to everyone who has ordered one (as far back as months ago)! They will be in the mail shortly. And believe you me- you will like the new design. The first design that was up at the beginning of the season was crazy. Now they're awesome. They take the best design elements from Hypercolor, Big Johnson, tie-dye, and the One-of-a-Kind Ron'Jon Surf Shop t-shirts to bring you the ultimate in cutting edge, one level beyond next level t-shirt design. Check it out at the PYPFTB Store.

Oooo- I hate Tyra Banks. She was so hot during my adolescence- gracing all those Victoria's Secret catalogs, but now she's awful and I hate her. Watching her makes me want to punch her- real bad. I hope she goes out of business soon so I never have to deal with her again.

This Marlins match-up is kind of interesting. I predict we triple their run output tonight.
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Monday, May 11, 2009 - Bring out the Six Shooters

What a series for us! Big props to Ryan Braun for being a stud. Shout out to Yovanni for doing what he does. Ups to Ken Macha for growing on me more and more. And I gotta give daps to Cousin Jon and Rickles Months- for bringing it strong all weekend and hitting a dong with a pink bat, respectively. Poor Cubs. They don't know what hit them. On Saturday we kept firing into them- making Swiss cheese so that when Fukudome drank Gatorade after the game it was pouring out of him like he was Swiss cheese.

Bring on the Cardinals, huh? When are we going to get to play those fools.
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Sunday, May 10, 2009 - I told you so

I told you so. Exploded, just like I said. If you didn't catch the Jon Ryan reference, it's from Wedding Crashers, when he suggests going from the heart, which is what I recommend to all of you in your Mother's Day cards. From the heart... can't go wrong. Bring out the pink bats and keep mashing for moms please.
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Saturday, May 9, 2009 - Everything's going to the beat

Milwaukee was a big passion pit yesterday. For the Brewers, for Gokey, for the city... it had to end with a Brewers' side W. And the advantage I have today, is that I can say "I knew we'd win yesterday" because they did. So in your face everyone that didn't vote for a billion percent. Tonight should be a good match up. With Yovani, you have to feel confident that the Brewers can keep the beat. Dempster is typically tough for us, but he has been inconsistent lately and to me, that's a billion percent chance that we're due to explode on him. We'll see... If all goes well, I'll be the Jon Ryan writing here tomorrow, saying "I told you so".
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Friday, May 8, 2009 - Advantage: Milwaukee

Everyone. It's Cousin Jon. Milwaukee's very own Cousin Jon. Isn't funny that when you become awesome to people on a national scale your hometown will claim you as "their own"? Whatever. I'm definitely claiming Gokey. I honestly and foolishly think the Brewers have a huge advantage tonight just because of Danny Gokey. Milwaukee is already Abduling over this dude and he is absolutely going to blow the roof off with the national anthem. AMERICA, WE GOT A HOT ONE TONIGHT
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Thursday, May 7, 2009 - Shock and Awe

Not to be too much of a meat/steakhead with that title, but the Army should take lessons from us. That was just awesome. BOOM! BOOM! DONG! Another DONG!Check, Echo delta roger, make that a grand salami! Up 9-0 after 2 innings. Jeepers creepers. Our little Braun is all grows up now, with a career high 6 ribbeys. Over his last 14 games, Braun is hitting .404 with five homers and 19 RBI. That's dirty good.

I don't know what the Journal Sentinel is griping about that Parra didn't pitch great, "He didn't pitch great, allowing two runs on eight hits in six innings with five strikeouts and four walks." Giving up only 2 runs is very solid to me.

Looks like May is our favorite month. We've been on a rocketship to the top of the charts so far.
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Wednesday, May 6, 2009 - Celebrating 17

Wowzas. 17 is a lot. The victory was the Brewers' 17th in a row over the Pirates, the longest such streak in the major leagues in 39 years. The Baltimore Orioles topped the expansion Kansas City Royals 23 times in a row from May 10, 1969, to Aug. 2, 1970.

In honor of the number 17, we're going to take a history lesson and learn about our 17th president- Andrew Johnson. He took over after Honest Abe's assassination. And was the first president to be impeached. He is the most recent President to represent a party other than the Republican or Democratic parties, having represented both the Democrats and the National Union Party. He is consistently ranked by historians as being among the worst U.S. presidents :( He was the only southern Senator not to quit his post upon secession and the most prominent War Democrat from the South supporting Lincoln's policies. Once he became President, he took charge of Presidential Reconstruction- the first phase of Reconstruction.

Did you know Booth's plan was to destroy the administration by ordering conspirators to assassinate Johnson, lieutenant general of the Union army Ulysses S Grant, and Secretary of State William H. Seward on the same night? Grant survived when he failed to attend the theater with Lincoln as planned, Seward narrowly survived his wounds, while Johnson escaped attack as his would-be assassin, George Atzerodt, failed to go through with the plan. Fascinating.
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Tuesday, May 5, 2009 - The Streak Continues

This is getting ridonculous. What a game last night? Unbelievable heroics from Braun. He's not even on the plane to Pittsburgh and then arrives in the 2nd inning. What kind of plane did he take? Did he teleport there?

So Braun comes in with bases loaded and 2 outs and hits a little bloop that somehow finds some dirt. If I were a Pirates fan or player, I'd be pretty upset. WHY did there right fielder not dive for that slowly falling ball? But he didn't and the Crew was back in it.

Then after Pitt regains the lead, Rickles Months performs some of his own heroics and hits his 3-run dong. This could be the season where Rickles Months performs beyond all expectations- possibly because of the new moniker.

My little brother was watching the game at home and put on Hells Bells during the commercial break after the top of the 9th. I think Trevor must have heard them. Lights out Pirates.
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Monday, May 4, 2009 - It's Tee Time!

Trevor Hoffman is the real deal, huh? It would be awesome if we had some guys standing in the bleachers all dressed up in gear and a housing unit- similar to the Indian Indians fans in Major League who had Chief Nokahoma's teepee in center field. BUT, instead of being Indian themed- they'd be wearing either golf clothes- for Tee time, or having Tea parties.

I'll be honest, both of those ideas are extra lame. But it would be kind of fun to do the tea party one. Like when you would go to the bottom of the swimming pool with a friend and do different actions. Always: reading a book, brushing teeth, and having a tea party.

4-game series are a little too long for me and unwieldy with their even number of games. They're awesome if you sweep and devastating if you get swept (Philly last year), and even the 3-1's going either way are a big deal. I'm more of an odd guy myself even though my favorite number is 12.

Bring on Pittsburgh again. These guys must really hate us by now. Poor guys.
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Sunday, May 3, 2009 - How Scary is this?

I was looking for a picture of a batter letting go of a bat and this is what came up in the #8 spot. Seriously though, how scary are bats? The answer is really scary. It's sort of weird if you think about it that there is an animal- the bat. And then baseball players use a bat to hit baseballs. How are the two connected? I don't know. In the olden days did they use to use frozen bats. I doubt it. Say it with me now... The EXCLUSIVE Company.
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Saturday, May 2, 2009 - Blown Call Costs Brewers the Game

It must've been a fluke. Get it? The image is a whale and maybe we saw the whale's flipper or fluke. Just some old 6th grade biology humor for you guys. Seriously though? Tough call. What's up with that? I don't understand the rules for when an NBA replay is called. They just seem to do it whenever they see fit. I much prefer the NFL's system where the rules are so secure and everyone knows them and loves them, "Yes, but was it indisputable?"

The Journal Sentinel did a nice piece of editorial clarification for Manny Parra (poor Parra by the way). "It's a human error," Parra said. "It's not so easy. He must have saw it (as if it) hit the line. With replay, we're able to be real critical of stuff like that. Unfortunately, it went against us." Great work JS editor adding the "as if it" hit the ball. He just wants to put it in the paper of record and remove any and all doubt that the ball was assuredly fall.

We get what Parra's trying to say when he says, "the ump must have saw it hit the line." There is a level of doubt in that statement- and the contradiction with reality is already there. JS wanted to hammer us though. Just like the point I'm making.
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Friday, May 1, 2009 - We Are... Marshall... And Invincible!

Oh man. I love football movies. And I love Marky Mark. And I love the Brewers. Brewers.com is a really good site- I recommend going there instead of here for insightful baseball analysis. Those guys are real professionals. They know what they're doing and they come up with great headlines. Take today for example, "Scaredy 'backs: Prince intimidates in winning run." How am I going to compete with that? I can't. That's too good.

What's even better though is winning 4 in a row and 8 of our last 10. We're InVINCible right now. I didn't see that movie, is it good?

Good to see Soup recover from that first batter. Do you realize that leadoff homer was the third by the first batter Suppan has faced in his last six starts, dating to the playoffs last year? What a terrible stat. Can we get Elias on the phone and see if that's a first? But he came back like a stud, so all is forgiven.

Last note, another shoutout to Connie for a sick nickname. Go-Yard-Do. Awesome.
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Thursday, April 30, 2009 - The Babe is Back

Yovani Gallardo put on your basic Babe Ruth-circa-1918 show.

From the Elias Sports Bureau: Gallardo was only the third pitcher in major-league history to win a game 1-0 while recording at least 10 strikeouts and hitting a home run. The other pitchers to do that were Hall of Famers: the Yankees' Red Ruffing, on Aug. 13, 1932 in Washington (12 strikeouts) and the White Sox' Early Wynn, on May 1, 1959 against the Red Sox (14 strikeouts).

Wow. Just wow. This guy is doing things the Babe hasn't even done. He's really unreal. Braun is impressed with the 23 year-old. He hits dongs when they count.
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Wednesday, April 29, 2009 - Turn It Up!

"Still looking for more volume. There's no noise ordinance out here, I know there's not. Mr. Attanasio might need to get more speakers in here." That's from the man. That's from Trevor Hoffman. This guy cannot get enough of rocking tunes and I love him for that. And don't look now, but we're back at 5 hundy. Marching on and keeping it going.

What a win. Coming back from down 4 and then letting Mr. Shutdown take care of business. I'm loving it right now. Hey Jimmy [my friend from Pitssburgh], what's up now? You guys sucks.
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Tuesday, April 28, 2009 - Dong.... DONG!!!

Bringing your closer into the game with a 5-run lead and playing the closer music will normally get you beat up. But I think everyone understands it was totally okay to do it last night. Trevor has been on the DL for a while and with our track record for closers (remember Gagne's giving up the tying 3-run dong to Fukudome on Opening Day last year?), introducing him in such a friendly manner was a nice way to go. Get him some reps so we can unleash him.

Yes, the video is crappy, but it gets a little goosebumpy right at 20 seconds when he starts running out. I love it when pitchers sprint out. Did Rocker do that?
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Monday, April 27, 2009 - Remember this?

How awesome was that celebration after the marathon game? Big last two series for us. Unfortunately it ended with a slight letdown yesterday. I hold my little brother personally responsible for the loss. This is the text he sent me verbatim, "Im 112% sure parra will get his first W today." Well you know what little brother? That game is on you. Even though he just allowed one hit, that's his fourth loss of the season, and that's all on you. Let's hope that doesn't come back to haunt us.

Speaking of correspondence, a Pittsburgh friend just sent me a message saying how excited he's been for the Pirates this season and to "watch out." Granted, I really like the Pirates organization and love their stadium. Whenever I see highlights from their field, I'm jealous we didn't build Miller Park in the city. I think our two cities have a lot alike. So I'm happy for them and their downtrodden franchise. But I still hope we can bring the hammer back to Miller Park and take care of biznass.
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Sunday, April 26, 2009 - Tug of War Redux

In the third season of PYP, of course I'm going to get a bit repetitive. And I'm pretty sure I've done a tug of war entry before, but this one REALLY applies. What a game last night. Perserverance and awesomeness allowed us to win. Two series wins in a row is the way to get back on track. Get out the brooms tonight.
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Saturday, April 25, 2009 - Gallardo has Liftoff

First career complete game? No walks? 7 K's? This guy keeps getting better and better. I liked the idea behind the Journal Sentinel headline "Gallardo is a problem for Houston." But I think they went at it a little clumsily and their execution was faulty. I also kept the outer space theme consistent for this headline. I always am consistent with outer space. I have outer space images on the back of my checks and the theme for my Gmail page is outer space. Obviously I love outer space.

Anyways, JS could have done it a little better right? "Houston we have a problem (and it's Gallardo)" or "Houston, we have a Gallardo." I should write headlines and get paid more than I currently do= 3 sporadic checks a year from Linkshare ads for less than $4 each :(

Feels good to win 3 in a row. I say we don't stop for a while.
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Friday, April 24, 2009 - Honest Dave Pitches Like a Mofo

Stoic and introspective by nature, Abraham Lincoln and Dave Bush seldom show emotion when governing America or on the baseball diamond. And his calm demeanor nearly brought him to the promised land of no-no's. How long has he been growing that beard? He looks pretty fierce with it fo sho.

And here's another thing I have to say- Phillies Shmillies. Can you believe they won the Series last year? Essentially, with last night's series win, we won the World Series. If we could've had a LITTLE more rest for CC last year (or if he could've gotten the pitcher out) we might all be wearing the big fat rings and holding that dorky World Series Trophy. Oh well.

We're on the right track again. Giddyup.
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Thursday, April 23, 2009 - Well Excuuuuuuuse Me

That's probably what Ice Coffey was saying after the game. Excuuuuuuuse me, I'm not perfect. I let in a run. Big deal? And he probably said it just like those Olsen twins from his favorite show- Full House. What is up with those girls? They're billionaires because of all those cheesy movies they were making and then there was the whole overrated countdown to their 18th bday. And now they're here and what have they done? They killed Australia's finest actor (sorry Wolverine) in his prime. I wish DJ Tanner and the middle girl were the famous ones. Though I heard that DJ (is it CJ?) got in a car accident early last year and had her legs amputated. Is that true?

I don't know if I could like this Ice Coffey nickname anymore. It's awesome. Big ups to Connie for the recommendation. This is what winners (and Ice Coffey) say, "I'll trade runs for wins every time." I always think about Outkast's Hey Ya song as well. When people yell how cool they are, everyone should scream, "Ice COFFEY" and then in the video it would be a picture of him throwing a heater.
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Wednesday, April 22, 2009 - Really?!?

Did we lose again to the Phillies in embarrassing fashion? Really? Did we really walk all those batters again? Really? Did we waste Braun's career high 5-hit game? REALLY? Are we at the bottom of the standings? I mean, really!

It's kind of fun to talk like that, but really, the Brewers need to get their pitching in order. Chill the feck out guys and throw some strikes. Did you see Lincecum's game last week? He threw 13 k's in 8 innings on less than 90 pitches. 60 of them were strikes. That guy is a machine. Let's pick him up.
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Tuesday, April 21, 2009 - Ice Coffey is Legit

Nice article on Coffey in the Journal Sentinel today. Some choice bits: Coffey was ahead of the curve with the recent hair-dying of players, going black on top while keeping his red goatee before breaking camp. And "Borrowing a bat from right-hander Dave Bush and batting gloves from righty Yovani Gallardo, Coffey scraped off the rust and sacrificed Kendall to second. 'That's desire,' Macha said of Coffey, who was 0 for 3 with three strikeouts as a major-league hitter. 'It was 96 mph and he deadened it right there. It was a perfect bunt.' "

But enough about the Ice Man. It's time for another trip to the city of brother love. Time for revenge. Time to avenge ourselves for those 12-pitch duels against pitchers that allow the Phillies to score 4 runs early in a game and dismantle CC on 3 days' rest (again). Or we could just concentrate on playing solid ball and getting some wins.
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Monday, April 20, 2009 - Coffey should be on Baywatch

8-out save?!? Are you kidding me? Coffey looks a little bit like that red-headed kid on YouTube that has all these great dance moves in his parent's living room. Coffey is like him except a better pitcher than that kid is a dancer.

Great to come out of New York with a win. Now we're on to something. I need to take the long view from now on, like Joe Torre. Just be really calm and not make a big deal out of things. Super relaxed and chill.

Isn't Baywatch's cast a little ridiculous? How has Yasmine Bleeth not done at least as well as Carmen Electra? I really liked her and thought she had the girl next door personality down pat. I wonder what she's up to.
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Sunday, April 19, 2009 - Bee Sting to the Face

That one stung too. Our prospects at this point in the season look about as nice as this guy's face. Yikes! We've got to turn it around and sweep some series to get back in this. The thing is. One hot week- and we're right back in it. Baby steps, baby steps. That said, this is a critical part of the season and we can't dig too deep of a hole unless we plan on going lossless in September.
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Saturday, April 18, 2009 - That one stings

A lot of excitement last night. We were down too early and really battled back. It's a shame that Castillo had two infield hit generating runs, one creating the sadness run. But our coming back for the lead was pretty tight.

"Brewer Nation can relax," Braun said. "I hit a home run. Actually, I felt like I've been swinging the bat much better lately." That's right Braun- talk to me directly as a member of Brewer Nation, I appreciate that. Touch your gloves next time you bat to say hi to me.

What a battle for Sheffield too. That dude is a dirtbag and a scary mofo. But he really earned that homer with a 9-pitch at-bat. Time to tarnish Citi Field today.
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Friday, April 17, 2009 - Day off

Do you ever have so much to do that you want to take a nap? I feel that way a lot. Possibly too much. I think that's what the Brewers felt like yesterday, but maybe that's a good thing. Take a day off. Relax for a bit. Let your troubles slide off your back like rain off a duck. Be the tin roof.

Now they're on their way to New York and are about to make a lot of people very sad. They spent all that money on a new stadium and now they're going to lose all the time. SORRY New York.
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Thursday, April 16, 2009 - Oh Happy Day

And we're back in the win column. Just like that. What a game and offensive outburst for the Crew. Things obviously got a little dicey in the 6th, and I was quite concerned, but sometimes you have to have faith (like the singers in the pic) and let your guys prove themselves (they did).

What is up with Looper's name? That is ridiculous. Looper? Really?
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Wednesday, April 15, 2009 - Time for Lucky Charms

I didn't think I'd have to pull out all the stops this early, but with a 4-game losing streak it might be time. So I'm wearing my PYP boxers today. A little embarrassing to be wearing them against the lowly Reds. Expectations are high this season, as they should be. Everyone can agree we're better than this 2-6 record, right? RIGHT?

How creepy is that Lucky Charms dude in that picture. He looks like he's about to steal little kids' souls. I'm going to steal all of our pitchers souls and replace them with robots. You're right, it doesn't make sens, but either does the Brewers record right now.
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Tuesday, April 14, 2009 - I'm worried about the crew

I received the above text message last night. The problem is I agreed with it. It's not good when our pitcher is throwing balls left and right, it's even worse when the pitcher is our stud YoGa. Why can't these mofos throw any strikes?

I hate getting in a hole this early in the season. You don't want to be playing catch-up from the start- it wears on the psyche, like unemployment.
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Monday, April 13, 2009 - We were robbed

What a catch. What a catch. What a catch. As soon as the Prince hit that beast of a towering fly ball I stood up and started yelling. I couldn't believe how clutch that was, how big of a hit. The ball went so high in the air and was going so deep. But there was Johnson- patiently backing up and making the most devastating of grabs. I thought for a moment that it might have fallen out of his glove over the fence, but no.

I was impressed watching the replays later that the Prince didn't react with more devastation. He was trotting to first base, watching, watching, and when it got caught (I would have fainted), he just turned aside and actually tipped his cap for the catch. Other big kudos go to the baserunners. Really heads up to tag up. Just a small thing that lets me know the players are playing thoughtfully and with good management.

How about those Suppan walks though? Ugh. Not nearly as cat as this cat being robbed. Really exciting series overall. If you look at it objectively, we should have swept them.
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Sunday, April 12, 2009 - Which way will the series go

I love rubber matches. Which way will it go today on Easter? Tons of excitement yesterday. Especially frustrating because we did turn two, and they took it away from us. Rickie's been having a little trouble in the field- hopefully he can get those throws out of the dirt, but the Prince did a good job sorta picking it out.

Happy Easter. Take em down Crew.
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Saturday, April 11, 2009 - Rickie Strongs














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Friday, April 10, 2009 - A little too old to bring that glove?

Another story from the game. A gentleman in his mid-30's was sitting solo in our aisle seats as we headed there for the pitch. There were plenty of seats next to him, so we didn't make a stink. This guy was really a kid at heart though- because he was wearing jeans with way too many pockets, a huge leather 49ers jacket, and he had brought his glove. It looked like a softball glove it was so big.

The kid was extremely serious about foul balls as well. At any crack of the bat, he'd jump into ready position- no matter where the ball was going. We were kind of messing with him a bit, that he needs to maximize his opportunities and always be ready. And if he ever left for the bathroom or to get food, we'd tell him about all the foul balls that came so close.

He had a chance at one, diving on top of 2 grandparents, but a little girl got the ball instead. He came back disheartened and told his golden story when he went to Spring Training in Arizona, was totally in the zone, and got 4 balls. Wherever they were fouling, he was there. Impressive? I'm not so sure. What's too old to be bringing a glove to the game? 13?

Bring on the Cubbies! I hope Brewers fans can fill out Miller Park a little better than last year's Cubs games. Are Cubs fan even excited this year? They must be a bit devastated and wary to dive into fandom again.
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Thursday, April 9, 2009 - Nice chin strap Yovani

I was at the game last night and let me be honest with you. IT WAS AWESOME. Yovani is fo sho the real deal. He's the triple threat, but I guess you can only have 2 threats in baseball- so he's just a double threat- but winning games by pitching and then hitting game-winning dongs are both pretty good threats.

There was some totally inappropriate behavior in the seats in front of me. A couple comes in and they just begin smooching like crazy the whole time. My friend and I offered to switch seats, we told them to watch the game, the final straw was when Yovani was up. I yelled at them as the pitch came in, "You don't makeout when Yovani is up with 2 outs." And then he hit his dong and I stood up in a sea of black and orange and pointed down at them, "In your faces!" Everyone was afraid of me then because I was like Nostradamus and they started asking me for lotto #'s. The make out couple celebrated like crazy and I thought I'd get a kiss, but only a high five.

They're doing the untucking the shirt thing again after the wins. Why are these shirts so long? It looked like the Prince was wearing a dress when he untucked his. So Yovani's the real deal. Can Parra match that?
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Wednesday, April 8, 2009 - Student Becomes the Master

Not the best start. I really hope it's not a taste of things to come. All off-season the discussion has been that the Brewers Achilles Heel and great unknown would be pitching this year. Uh oh. But let's move past that. I had a dream last night that the Brewers signed Ben Sheets and were going to pay him a huge contract and it was mostly a nightmare. He's the best, but I'm not sure we need that crumbly arm of his. Really a shame.

Tonight's matchup should be a good indicator of our pitching. We're placing a lot of pressure on the young shoulders of Yovani Gallardo. He's taken it all in stride and seems like the real deal. We'll see what happens when he takes on THE BIG UNIT. The young overtaking the old, I've seen it before...

How old is this guy? Is he even good anymore? He's still as intimidating as all get-out, but he seems a little bit like an over-the-hill cowboy who just spends all his time at the saloon. Trying to buy a night with the streetwalkers but they're too good for him and won't take his money (because he doesn't have money). Clawing back to 5 hundo tonight.
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Tuesday, April 7, 2009 - Let the Games Begin

And here we are friends. Once more we reunite for the third season, the third installment of Pee Your Pants For The Brewers. How sweet was last year's completion of the pledge? It was so awesome (obviously). I think there is going to be lots of reminiscing about some key moments from last season.

I just want to bottle up some of that emotion and take long drinks from it from time to time. The best thing about memories like that is you can never exhaust them. The Brewers always did those awesome things in 2008 and those memories are ours forever. But enough about last season, we should discuss the Barcelona Opening Ceremony. How about that archer's outfit? Did you know it was a fake? He actually just shot over the torch and they lit it using Computers? At first I was devastated hear that, but when I thought about how nervous he must've been, I understood.

Welcome to the 2009 season. The hard work and training for these players has already taken place. Now it's time for the real work though- and the real grind- and the real fun- 162 games to see if we can do it again. All these games are for a chance at those 4 vaunted spots in the playoffs- where anything can happen.

I still like our chances this year. We're bringing back the same team (minus CC and Sheets And did you see CC today? I absolutely wish him the best because he gave us everything last year, but I really do think he would've been happier in Milwaukee without the insane expectations that go along with playing in NY and for that salary. That contract looked heavy on him yesterday.) Braun, the Prince, Gallardo, Parra, JJ, Corey, Rickie- they're all back and they want to keep this wet streak going.
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Monday, October 6, 2008 - Pledge Fulfilled

The Brewers' first playoff after a 25-year absence was all too short. Even though it didn't end the way we wanted it too, I have to say it's been a successful and great season- I witnessed the first playoff berth of my life. Of course there are regrets and decisions to second-guess about the last game. Particularly Suppan's ineffective start. It's a shame we didn't start the Lamborghini Gallardo, who looked dominant in relief. Our hitters left a lot to be desired throughout the series. Short at-bats and short innings are no way to produce runs and win games.

All in all, it's been a fantastic year. Thanks to everyone who visited, pledged, and commented in good humor. Thanks to the Brewers for taking us to the promised land. I'm hopeful that there is a foundation for more frequent playoff appearances. I think Attanasio may have gotten a taste for winning and will continue to pour money into the team. These last few months, I've thought that if we made it to the playoffs and didn't win it all, CC might be inclined to stay. Hopefully we can get a deal done quickly (while his love for this great city and team looms large) and sign him to a deal. Maybe we include a clause that once we win the World Series- he can opt out. CC, Gallardo, Parra is dirty. If our batters can work the count next year- maybe we'll sprinkle some regular hits in between the dong parade.

Enjoy the Hall of Pee. The PYPFTB Executive Committee also has some soul-searching to do this off-season. Does a fulfilled pledge mean game over for the site? Or is a Brewers playoff appearance always an excuse to pee your pants- a tradition worth continuing? We'll see if we see you in 2009.
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Sunday, October 5, 2008 - No Hittable Pitches For You

All right, it's time for Suppan to deliver on his monster contract. He made all that money because of a great postseason (a while ago). By all means I'll love him forever if he's dominant today and gets another huge contract.

What a game yesterday. I was so proud to see Miller Park rocking last night. Truly awesome. All we did was get hits. They were little itty bitty ones, but pretty awesome nonetheless. At one point we had three singles in a row with no runs scored. Baby hits. Braun and the Prince were 0 fer 7. If they get hot, here we come LA. I just heard JJ (3 for 4 stud) say we need to take one game at a time- let's do it.
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Saturday, October 4, 2008 - We Must Protect This House

We have to win one baseball game today. It's as simple as that. We're playing at Miller Park tonight in front of what's going to be the most raucous crowd imaginable. The noise tonight has been 26 years in the making. A lot of fans have waited their whole lives for a playoff game in Milwaukee. Here we are everyone. It's been awesome. I hope everyone has a really great time. Enjoy this and let's get the W.
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Friday, October 3, 2008 - I See Dead People

Okay, it's the wrong M. Night Shamalangadingdong movie. The one I really meant was Signs (see picture). I think that Signs is applicable here and that it's his best flick. Joaquin with his hair lip is really funny, Macauly Culkin puts in his best performance since his rapping role in Michael Jackson's "Black and White." Anyways, here are the signs I'm seeing. I'm seeing connections. The 1982 Milwaukee Brewers went down to the final day of the regular season to clinch their playoff berth. Only 7 of 54 teams have come back from an 0-2 playoff hole. The 1982 Brewers are one of them. Does that give you shivers? I am shivering.

Does anyone else feel a little bit bad for the Cubs? They really are a great team and had a fantastic season- and now they're just blowing it and have the whole nonsense of 100-year history and pessimists putting monumental pressure and self-defeating thoughts on them. It's been a stunning collapse for them. But we're not like that, we're a bit different because we're playing with house money. I don't want to say that we're settling for a playoff berth and that's it (though it's tough to imagine a World Series celebration being any wilder than Sunday's). It's almost like you have to pay your dues, get some playoff experience like the Phillies last year. The Crew is making progress bit by bit. Sort of like the Pack from 94-96. Sort of like the Bucks 99-01. Here we are. And we can get hot and turn this into a 5-game series with CC on FOUR days rest for the final game. I like our chances.

Some more comments about last night's game. I thought we were going to bust the game open in the first and I was ecstatic for a rout. That we only got 1 run was obviously the story of the game. And then CC's pitching duel against the pitcher? Ugh. I always think it's sometimes good to have the out after the pitcher be your final out- so then they don't lead off again (probably a garbage thought). But to have 9 pitches against him was horrific. My bro was at the game in the right field along the right-field foul line and I made him promise me that he would dive into the stadium to create a ground rule double for fan interference if it benefited the Brewers. His services were not needed.

The low of that grand salami was pretty low. I feel like I've been running myself ragged this last week and a half with so much excitement and then letdown on this giant see-saw. I need to just relax and enjoy it more. So do the Brewers, and their bats will start popping.
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Thursday, October 2, 2008 - Defense Wins Championships

Our defense let the Lamborghini Gallardo down- no question about it. Rickie's error in the 3rd was entirely unacceptable. How can you explain that error? The ball was perfectly delivered right to the belt buckle- all he has to do is reach out his arm, but instead he keeps it tucked in and jabs himself. WHYYYYY??? Needless to say, no earned runs for Yo-Yo, which would have been sufficient for the W. And what was up with Cameron's angle of pursuit on that fly ball? It must've been really windy out there.

And then on offense, we certainly were challenging. We were right there until Corey Break My Hart let another K go. Just a little poke- and I would've named my kid after him.

Now it comes down to the dark horse of CC. Take us home big man. I'm a little worried about his arm. 4 starts on 3 days rest is a big workload even for his 6'7'', 500 lb frame.
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Wednesday, October 1, 2008 - Playoffs? You better believe it

Whew. I just got an email from Brewers.com that the Brewers and Phillies are opening the NLDS today. Obviously, THIS IS HUGE. I must say, I'm a little exhausted after the season and playoff push, but now it's pump up time for the actual playoffs/World Series run. Drink a big coffee and get jacked, set up a tailgate at work, get out of work early, whatever you have to do. Here we go on a ride that I'm sure will be rocky, I'm sure it'll be crazier than the regular season. All the season's intensity condensed to three weeks. Today's is an important game. If we can steal Game 1 with the Lamborghini Gallardo, the Phillies are going to be terrified of CC in Game 2.

Here's one of the best pledge fulfillment stories I've heard: I was out bird hunting in the U.P. when I remembered the Brewers were playing. I went back to my truck and settled in to listen to the game on the radio. At the end of the 7th inning I had to go pee but decided to hold it in case I needed it within the hour. When the Brew Crew won I really had to go pee, but forced myself to hold it as I was keeping track of the Mets game. When the Mets finally lost I got out of the truck, with my bird dog following me out. She was very excited thinking we were going out hunting again. But when I took a good deep breath of fresh northern air and started to fill my pants with pee, but dog had the strangest look of puzzlement on her face. Wow, after holding it for almost 90 minutes I really filled my pants and put a big puddle on the ground. After soaking in the victory for 5 to 10 minutes I got my dog back into the truck and headed home. It was a good day in the U.Pee.
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Tuesday, September 30, 2008 - Welcome to Occtobefest

So this is what playing in October feels like? It's great to be here and playing at this time of year. I think the fact of the playoffs has sunken in and now I'm on to playoff preparation mode. I just bought the clubhouse granite Brewers Wildcard shirt. That'll be part of my playoff uniform, along with the 07 and 08 PYPFTB shirts. I think I'm going to keep a quality rotation going- rather than trying to create a lucky shirt and drive that one home. However, if something lucky happens in one of the shirts- that may need to change. Get your rest Brewers. Tomorrow is the beginning of a new era.

Here's a great example of pledge fulfillment. Keep posting your video responses to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzmsbIfwQhc


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Monday, September 29, 2008 - We Did It! We Did It!

We did it. We actually did it. The Milwaukee Brewers are in the playoffs for the first time since 1982. I was so excited I peed my pants. Literally. Peed my Pants for the Brewers. I love that after this 2-year odyssey that we've embarked on together- it's finally in the past tense. I peed my pants for the Brewers and I hope you did too.

There's been some great responses so far. Send in your stories and pics (of pledge fulfillment, but also just great celebrations!) and YouTube links to bernie@pypftb.com. I'll start a page.

For the first time in my life I witnessed an entire Brewers season resulting in a playoff birth. My birth in July of 1982 allowed me to witness the Wallbangers wild run, but I was not part of it. Did this just happen? This whole season was so insane. Ups and downs and downs and ups, but here we are- 1 of 4 teams in the playoffs. With beer and champagne flowing on the players, how proud were you of those guys? For sticking through this whole season. Bouncing back and delivering when it counts. No joking here- it's been a little dusty around me when I pause and think about the enormity of what has transpired.

Truly insane. There are kids losing their minds over this. That we were 5 1/2 games up in the wildcard and then 2 1/2 games out of the playoffs a week ago is astounding. No doubt we earned this. Scoreboard watching galore. Obviously we didn't want to lose our way into the one-game playoff. And obviously we didn't want to play today. Who would we pitch? Robin Yount maybe.

I thought it was going to be a cakewalk after Cameron got a leadoff hit in the first. Then we went quiet for 6 terrifying innings and it was a war with our batters tightening up. The poor Prince almost deserved to be shot for his error in the 2nd that looked costly up to the 8th. Talk about big players stepping in up in big games . CC refused to lose. He nearly won the game by himself with that ripped moon shot that was barely foul in right. And then the future of the franchise, Ryan Braun, put the team on his back with 2 outs with the dong of all dongs.

I'm having difficulty comprehending this. I don't think it'll truly hit me until our guys step on the field in Philly on Wednesday. You know what though? We're not done yet.
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Sunday, September 28, 2008 - Tell Me I'm a Good Man

One of my favorite parts in Saving Private Ryan is the very end- where the old grandpa Matt Damon (with the 3 super hot granddaughters) is at the cemetery at Normandy and asks his wife to tell him he's a good man. That he lived up to Tom Hanks' last wish that Private Ryan "earn it." Well, ladies and gentlemen of the PYPFTB community, we are earning it right now. Could it be any other way than going down to the very last day of the season. The very last game. We're still in control of our destiny and I can't believe we're hours away from the final hour of reckoning.

We have our ace and guiding light and my main man, CC Sabathia, taking control of his and the Brewers destiny. We're all jumping on his back as he carries us and pitches us to the promised land. His performance today might honestly be something like Brendan Fraser's in the Rookie, no-no and a dong. The only thing I can think of is shivers. How excited we all are. How I wish I were on the Brewers (I sort of am) and I wish all our players the very best.

And also a thanks to the Cubs for the early Navidad present, from SI.com: Piniella is giving Milwaukee perhaps an even bigger gift on Sunday: Rather than starting Carlos Zambrano, he's putting September call-up Angel Guzman on the hill. Do we need to list the ways in which this is like early Christmas for the Brew? Guzman has never won a major-league game despite making 13 starts in 2006 and '07. He has not started a major-league game this year but has a 7.04 ERA in 7 2/3 innings pitched. He made one appearance against the Brewers, on Sept. 17, and gave up three runs in just 2/3 of an inning. Also, he's not Zambrano. The Mets cannot be pleased with this, but Piniella, whose team has already clinched home-field advantage the NL playoffs, kindly offered this explanation of the nature of Sunday's game (via the Chicago Tribune: "It's not going to matter because, well, it is going to matter but it's not going to matter."
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Saturday, September 27, 2008 - Oh YEAHHHH!

Snap it to a Slim Jim? More like snap us into the playoffs. This is unreal. This is craziness. This is actually happenning. People are losing their minds over this. The Macho Man Randy Savage should be doing all the commentary right now.

The Pants-Peeing Plan:
When the moment strikes, take a picture or a video as you fulfill the pledge. Send pics to this bernie@pypftb.com.
If you take a video, post them on YouTube, responding to this PYPFTB training video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzmsbIfwQhc). We'll create our own YouTube sub-genre of pants-peeing pledge fulfillment.
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Friday, September 26, 2008 - Prescription Filled

I believe last night was the first time I have seen the cowbell rally work at Miller Park and now all I want to do is cowbell it up all over this piece until we reach the playoffs. (If you're unfamiliar, Miller Park shows the Will Ferrell SNL cowbell skit during late inning rally situations.) With bases juiced, two outs and two strikes, Miller Park went off the charts on that grand salami airplane celebration. Did you watch the other walk offs in New York and Minnesota? Milwaukee's and Minnesota's celebrations were leagues better than the one in New York. Not even a question. (Oregon State's was also proper.)
And I'll tell you another thing... Attanasio, Gagne, and Yovani all really stepped up. Fans were getting hooked up left and right with sweet gear, cars, lawn mowers, year supply of ice cream... It was nuts. Gagne giving away 5,000 seats should be completely unnecessary given the circumstances, but what a move. And Yoga... 7K's = too fast too furious lambo off the DL style.
Here's what Suppan needs to be telling himself right now: The last time I checked, we don't have a whole lot of songs that feature the cowbell. And I'd be doing myself a disservice -- and every member of this band, if I didn’t perform the H*!! out of this! Forget that its the Cubs. Just get out there and dominate.
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Thursday, September 25, 2008 - Don't Call it a Comeback

In the immortal words of LL Cool J:

Don't call it a comeback I been here for years Rockin my [Old School Brewers hat] and puttin suckas in fear Makin the [dongs] rain down like a MON-soon Listen to the [Prince] go BOOM [Sabathia], overpowerin...

Over the competition, I'm towerin Wreckin shop, when I drop these [web gems] that'll make you call the cops Don't you dare stare, you betta [evacuate the final wildcard slot] Don't ever compare Me to the rest that'll all get [beat in one-run games where closers barely close the deal] [Regular season and Playoff opponents] payin the price

Mama said knock you out!

And with that, the Brewers are tied for the wildcard lead. This is too much. It's extra intense because we have to monitor two games at once. Literally, double the anxiety and pressure (on my bladder). Here comes the Lamborghini Gallardo. Hold on to your butts for the final 4 games of the season.

I thought I was done with this post and then I read some quotes from these players and I covered my face in excitement. I love CC, A LOT. The "oCCtober!" sign got me so jacked up. From Sabathia, “We need to get in the playoffs. We’re tied with four games left and you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do to get in. We’re so close. You only get a certain amount of opportunities to get into the playoffs and win a championship, and that’s what I’m trying to do.”
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Wednesday, September 24, 2008 - Don't Stop Believing

The Prince's dong last night was truly sensational. Meaning my body was coursing with awesome sensations as the ball soared out of the playing field into dongland. I think everybody else in Miller Park had some of that awesomeness and clearly the Prince was feeling about the most awesomeness possible.

His dong trot was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. He was going pretty fast and as soon as he rounded first, he immediately started tugging his jersey out. I'm worried that at one point the Prince is going to rip his jersey out before he catches the ball to make the final out- he just likes ripping his jersey out so much. I don't usually tuck in my shirt, but I think I'm going to start- at the very least when I watch Brewers games. Probably in general too though- so whenever I accomplish a task I can rip it out. In the replay's you could see a bit of his power core stomach as he untucked his jersey, which looks my 70 year-old Uncle Ron's stomach (which makes him look like he's pregnant, but it's hard as a rock). And then the stomp on home plate? With the whole team there? Mosh pit style. Everyone waiting their turn to get literally lifted up by the Prince after he has carried the team on his back the last two weeks. Wow, a lot of goodness came out of that win. They showed tons of resiliency and key hitting, coming back every time.

Interesting how Ryan Braun has kind of been the team leader all season, got the long-term contract, and his stock has been steadily going up. Now, it's solidly been the Prince leading the team- with productive numbers. I can't wait to see Eagle Eye now. I wonder what it will inspire me to do.
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Tuesday, September 23, 2008 - We can DO it!

Seriously, we can do it. Can you imagine if we made the playoffs after all of this? It's hard to even fathom, but it's a possibility. I think a lot of people have gotten really down on the Brewers lately, and that's got to change. The Cubs are doing their work, now it's our time do ours.

I really like Pittsburgh. I always have felt like there is a bit of kinship between the two cities- small, working-class backgrounds. I was jealous of their new stadium, that they built it downtown, and the views of the bridges have always impressed me. But today and for the next 3 days, I hope they either are our good friends and let us beat them. Or I hate them and I hope we destroy them. Easy as that.
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Monday, September 22, 2008 - Gotta Have Faith

It's true. You gotta have faith at this time of the year. And George Michael's Butt (his butt is a proper noun) will lead the way. While the Mets are playing today for their playoff lives, the Brewers will be relaxing while watching Eagle Eye. Or getting pumped up. To be honest, I wasn't too excited for that movie (at all). And when I first heard the story that Braun set up the screening, I thought they would see it immediately, not wait a week. I guess Braun is a little less powerful than I thought. Would you even go to the screening if you were a player? I don't think I would 100% down for it. The fact that Ryan set it up shows to me the gap in the age, and that a lot of pro sports players are actually younger than me. I may've been super excited a year or two ago, but Eagle Eye doesn't really get my gut anymore.

What was up with Gabe Kapler being at the football game? He looked like he could've been on the field with all his muscles and silly old-fashioned hat. Time to root for the Cubs against the Mets. Quick comment on the Cubs- I can't believe this is their first consecutive playoff appearance in 100 years. I know Brewers fans can't really talk because of our absence, but we can talk about that- that's pathetic. That's like Atlanta Falcons pathetic. That means every year they make the playoffs is a fluke. Just embarrassing, but gooooooo Cubs!
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Sunday, September 21, 2008 - Never give up and good luck will find you!

I hope Falcor is right, but I fear it's too late and we have passed the vanishing point into infinity and beyond. No. I do not fear that. We are still only 2.5 games out, which makes all these losses (against the Reds!??!!) extra painful. The Mets have a tough series coming up. Really all it takes is a 3 out of 4 slide for them and the opposite for us. That can happen. I'm gung ho until math says not to be.

I don't understand the short rest for CC. Maybe he was totally fine on 3 days rest. Yesterday's game was important, but isn't today's just as important? Did we have nobody for yesterday?
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Saturday, September 20, 2008 - What's the point anymore?

I feel like I've been writing this a lot, but that one really hurts. It more than hurts though. It's like a great depressing wave of sadness. How could they do this to us again? There is absolutely no excuse for this swoon. It's the same depressing tale as last season. I won't give up until we're mathematically eliminated, but they're making it easy to think that that elimination is coming soon. Son of a b. I just want to yell, "WILDCARD $#@%#es!" and be there, but it looks like it's not going to happen.
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Friday, September 19, 2008 - I think it's time to Fire Yost

That's it. Enough is enough. We need to light a fire under these guys and get em playing hard again. And that is why, with a heavy heart, I think the Brewers need to make the unprecedented move to fire Yost with 9 games remaining in the wild card chase. They simply are not responding to his guidance anymore.

What a heartbreaker. Up 6-2, I started paying less attention. I thought we totally had the game and was already planning ahead that we would build off the momentum to a sure thing wild card playoff berth. I can't believe that it crumbled. How is that possible? When there were runners on the corners and a 3-run lead, I thought it was important for a coach to come out and give Torres some time and let him refocus. It all happened bang-bang-bang. And then once Soto was up, it was just one more pitch. I don't know why a coach wouldn't come out, or Kendall walk up to Torres. He knows he's in a bind, that's not going to put any more pressure on him. Just let him chill a little bit.

Not only did we lose, but we used today's starter up and went deep, deep into the bullpen. We just gave ourselves another big hill to climb. Time to start climbing.
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Thursday, September 18, 2008 - The Key to Hotness

I love that yellow book commercial where the extra beautiful Blanca Soto has to get rid of her "Mike" tattoo because she's actually marrying Tom. It gives me hope because if she's so impulsive to get a Mike tattoo maybe she'd be impulsive enough to get with me. Or maybe I could persuade her that I'm a better fit because no tattoo removal would be necessary, just a man switch. Anyways, when it played last night on ESPN I knew it was a sign that that's what the Brewers are right now, so hot. Also, there was a great comment in jsonline blog yesterday:

Saw Ryan Braun on Michigan Avenue on my lunch-hour with his lady-friend about 1:15 today. I said "Go get 'em tonight, Ryan." He said "Thanks." I think this is the turning point. Also, pretty hot lady-friend. I should've asked him for about 4 RBIs tonight.

I like how the guy views ryan's non-committal "thanks" as a secret insight that he and the Crew are going to start playing awesome. Is Ryan saying thanks the turning point? or this guy seeing Braun the turning point?

The Prince is so keyed in right now. I want a team of just he and Sabathia for the rest of the way. If we play like this I like our chances.
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Wednesday, September 17, 2008 - Sneak Attack Mothaflippa

Who knew that this website would get to a stage where in the thick of a playoff hunt we're showing cutesy cat sneak attacks? I did and I love it. Now that we've relinquished the wild card lead we're going to be coming from behind (at least for a day or two). I thought there were some obvious visual or literary puns highlighting the coming from behind aspect, but wanted to keep this site PG. Also, I guess it can't be a sneak attack since everyone knows about us (how about all the coverage the Crew has been receiving- I like it- even if it's for a panicked and unprecedented firing of our manager), but I just love those cats.

I'm actually fine with where we are. It's a new season today with 11 games left and there's no point in complaining anymore about opportunities lost. We've got a shot at it and we can still do it. I'm not sure what is the best strategy for our wishing on other teams. Clearly, the best is for the Phillies, Mets, Stros, and Cards to lose all their games, but I don't think that's a sure thing (possibly). We, at the very least, have to win one more game. It seems like our wild card entry might be a Phillies division win and another Mets collapse. They both have fairly easy schedules, though the Mets face the Cubs next.

Clearly we have to win and I think we can after last night's game. What excitement! The Cubs had some amazing defensive plays that would have totally changed the game. Braun legging that in-field hit was impressive. Really exciting. I thought we had it with the Prince up. That final K was tough, but the game is energizing. How about CC's almost dong? He's still my main man.
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Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - Yes, It Is Your Fault

The emerging and clear team leader of now and the future, Ryan Braun, said, "It's not his fault, man. It's not his fault." Well, I think it is (and you better start leading on the field with some production as well Brauny man). It's been Yost's fault for a while. Ned has been way too relaxed these last few weeks. Where's the fire Ned? Challenge your players to perform! Did you know Yost has the same winning percentage as Garner? Phil Garner from 1992-'99 was 563-617 (.477) while Yost was 457-502 (.477) from 03 to now.

Attanasio must be pretty steamed right now to see his toy self-destructing. Especially with the world's economy collapsing as well. Now, here we are with 12 games to go, half against the Cubs, and we're tied for the wild card lead. Stop me if this is crazy talk (it might be), but if CC TCOB and then Sheets does the same and we can get one more against the Cubs, and then we get on the mother of all hot streaks, we could win the division in the final three games (I know some people are thinking or dreaming that), which would be the coolest thing of all time. Clearly, tonight is a must-win. If we can't win with CC, I think the entire team gives up immediately.


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Monday, September 15, 2008 - 4th and 26 Redux

First it was the 2001 Eastern Conference Finals for the Bucks. Then it was 4th and 26 (it hurts me to write that, I swear). And now it's the epic collapse in Philly. I hate Philadelphia. But do you know what? Right now, I kind of hate the Brewers more. Because as much as Philly has had our number at these inopportune times. This Brewers collapse is decidedly different from those two heartbreakers. For both the Bucks and Packers, those were well-fought games that we could and should have won except for some lucky plays. For this 2008 Brewers team, we just went to Philly and laid down and died. How could this happen? Is this September real?

It's unbelievable how in the 3 biggest series of the year, Cubs at home, Mets, at Philly- we played like garbage and got swept! SWEPT!!! Unfathomable. I guess the highlight of our year was when WE swept the Cardinals to put our what we thought was a stranglehold on the Wild Card pole position.

So here we are, with 12 games left. We are tied for the Wild Card lead and need a final hot streak to get us home. I guess it's possible. But watching this trainwreck in slow motion doesn't make it seem like we're getting out of this slump anytime soon. In CC we trust.
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Sunday, September 14, 2008 - Two-Pronged Attack

There is clearly a lot of business to take care of today. Number one we have to rebound from this horrible nonsense of losing games to the Phillies. It is time to reestablish ourselves and play loosey-goosey to determine our own fate. No more of this nonsense.

Second order of business- I got a text from Ross, the t-shirt guy, saying Miller Park is hosting the Houston-Cubs series! That is unbelievable right? Could Milwaukee be a better baseball market or a more hospital city? Has this ever happened before where a stadium has hosted two separate series-es? Now that Houston and Chicago are playing in our domain, we need to find a way to sabotage one if not BOTH teams. I'm not sure what. Can we get the grounds crew involved? Go get em.
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Saturday, September 13, 2008 - I can't stand the raining

Quick shoutout to Ernest in Ernest Goes To Camp. Where it starts to rain at Camp Kikakee and he's feeling a little overwhelmed at the miners quest to take over the camp. It's hilarious that he put this song in the movie- that he thought he was versatile enough to expand from his comedic role to singing as well. I think it was the right decision because he did a great job singing and I get a little choked up doing scene recall. The song goes a little something like this, "I can't stand the raining. But I don't mind it, cause it hides the TEARS!" Touching stuff.

Anyways, I think the rain delay is good for the Brewers (especially because the postponement was called early on). Give us a day to chill out, relax, reconvene, reconcentrate, make some oj, have a bath, get a massage, all that good stuff. Time to get back in business today. RIP Jim Varney.
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Friday, September 12, 2008 - Doing the Collapse?

I hate myself for writing that title, but there it is. Are we falling apart right now- game by game? Are we this year's New York Mets. Clearly the answer is no to that, because we didn't have an "insurmountable" lead. It surely was a comfortable lead though and now it's nearly gone. The Colorado role is being reprised by Houston- thankfully going to the Cubs tonight- maybe they can knock some sense into those overpaid jerks from Chicago. About the Philly series, all we need is one game. Just one game! and then we'll be okay.

Check out Tom Haudricourt's blog, he absolutely CLOWNS the Brewers and Corey Hart. Corey Hart talks about how loose they are in Philly because no one boos. And Tom promptly tells them if they're so loose they should start winning.

Had a great dream last night where we clinched a playoff spot against the Cubs in dramatic fashion. Obviously we had to hit tons of home runs to get it done. The funny thing is after each home run Gagne would run around the field wearing an apron- he was our new Bernie Brewer slide. Maybe that's a new role for him?
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Thursday, September 11, 2008 - The Camaro Delivers

The sweetest car from 1968 goes to the man who delivered the sweetest moment in last night's win. What an at-bat for our friend the Camaro. As he was coming up to bat, I was thinking, "Please be on steroids, please be on steroids." And he was on steroids with the go-ahead rbi! (Quick tangent about the Camaro and Gagne: I joke about rather having them be on steroids and be good than be clean and bad, but all I really care is them being good. It makes me think that maybe if Bonds had been on the Brewers I would've loved him and not cared about the steroids thing. Not sure because he's such a jerk.) I've been waiting for this moment for a long time- for Camaro to produce the play of the game. I was waiting for the perfect time to fully reveal the Camaro nickname (first mentioned on the June 19th post). Thoughts? And then Torres delivered redemption. Great win.

Do you know what my favorite number is? 12! And that just happens to be the Brewers magic number today. Very awesome news for us. It really is a great number (better than 16) with some great factor action of 1, 2, 3, 4, 6. Anyways with 16 games left (10 on this MONSTER road trip and 6 at home) and a magic number of 12, we control our destiny like Spock and you and me. Crazy how Houston has overtaken St. Louis in the wild card by half a game and are now tied with Philly, 4 games behind us. Speaking of Philly, it's time to take care of those babies. This 4-gamer could fully extinguish their hopes and dreams. Please make it happen.
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Wednesday, September 10, 2008 - More Ray Durham

That 3-run dong by Ray Durham was such sweetness. I can't believe he hit that- his 5th dong of the season at the most dramatic of times, when we needed it most. I think we should've kept him in there though and pulled Rickie "I" Stinks in the field. He had 2 errors in clutch time (the opposite of Durham). Although they ended up not being costly- those errors extend innings and pitches for our bullpen.

We really had our chances too- 1 out with a man on and nothing but k's. That's painful to watch. Amazingly everyone else is losing too. I don't know if losing our way in is our strategy, but it looks like it could work at this point. The whole NL is just compressing into a final week scramble for the playoffs. Looks like that final Cubs series could be do or die for both of us. Don't forget about Houston.
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Tuesday, September 9, 2008 - Relax...

Last time I checked the Brewers are still 3 games up in the Wild Card Race. It is not time to panic yet. I recommend Yosty sends the guys to watch some water drops before the games. That's a known relaxer- get everything nice and loosey goosey. No thoughts in, no thoughts out. Just balls to the catcher for pitchers and balls outta the park for hitters.

A bunch of articles in the Journal Sentinel were saying how we're in "trouble. Big trouble." Yeah right! All it takes to wash out those naysayers is a little hot streak. Two more against the Reds, and then it's for real crunch-time going to the City of Man Love. THAT is an important series.
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Monday, September 8, 2008 - The Sausages are Rounding Third

The end of the season is really, really almost here. You can see the end now. There are only 6 series left against 4 teams: Cincy, Philly, Chicagi, and Pitty. We now have a magic number and that number is 16! 16 is a wonderful number with 19 games left. 4 squared = 16. 8 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 18 (which is not quite 16, but close).

With a magic number of 16, we're clearly in the driver's seat. We've got to do some bang up work against Cincy and Pitts-town (who should we beat). I really think the season could be decided by the Philly series. Of course, there's enough time after that series if things go horribly wrong to correct ourselves. But really, if we can go 3-1 or a sweep in that series- we're pretty much home-free. The Mets and Phillies both have cakewalk series the rest of the way. Our hack at Philly will be our last chance to take them down a notch. But first, we've got to take care of Cincy- keep removing those days from the schedule. That's the game. This excitement and nervousness is killing me.
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Sunday, September 7, 2008 - Take a ride on Glacier's stately 'Reds'

Here's a picture of the red tour buses you can ride through Glacier. You can also see how cliffhangerlike the ride is. Our guide said that when Laura Bush recently visited Glacier, the secret service actually had one of their agents trained specifically for the tour because they didn't trust the normal tour guides. How much did you trust Sheets last night? Great performance... such a shame that as good as he is that was a career high 13th win for him. Today we should get a little help from the stately Reds and gain some ground. Unless Sorry Uno hits 3 homers again. Stupid. No chance that happens again.
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Saturday, September 6, 2008 - Going to the sun road

Here it is! Cousin Jon action. And guess what... I'm in Montana. We took the Empire Builder Amtrak train from Milwaukee to Whitefish, MT which only took 33 hours. 33 hours on a train is insane. Especially when the Brewers lose twice before you even get off, but we made it. Yesterday we went to Glacier National Park and up Going To The Sun Road, which is just like trying to make the playoffs. If you don't focus, you could freeze up and never make the top. Or if you start looking at all the intense scenery (aka scoreboards, Erin Andrews, Gagne-bombs) you could miss a turn and drop off a no-hope cliff. Making it to the top was amazing and made the dangerous drive up the road extremely worthwhile. Imagine how much more all these game saving double plays and clutch hits will mean after making the playoffs when October baseball is back in Milwaukee. Another tough corner tonight with Sheets vs Peavy but I trust my drivers. Let's get there.
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Friday, September 5, 2008 - It's a Swea-TARE!

Imagine what El Guapo would have done with some PYPFTB Gear! Now that it's been a 4-game slide, I'm bringing about the big guns today. It's business time because I slept in my PYP boxers and business socks and plan on wearing them all day. Yes, I wore them, took them off to shower, and put them back on(is that okay or too dirty?). Also will be wearing an 07 PYP shirt and a wristband. This is important. 4 game slides are not good for business. The Biz-nasss of making playoff babies.

Make sure to get on the horn at 12 for the playoff ticket rattle. 22 games left (oh my goodness) and we are up four. This is unbelievable.

Get ready for some Cousin Jon action this weekend.
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Thursday, September 4, 2008 - We Will Beat Him

You know what that sweep means? It means we're going on a tear. Every time the Brewers get swept we go on an absolute tear. After the Red Sox debacle? Resurgence. After the dispiriting and embarrassing Cubs massacre? A month of dominance. So now it's time to rebound with power.

Granted I'd rather not have to go through a sweep to get to where we need to go. And there's no guarantee we'll bounce back with the authority we've previously displayed. What is up with that first inning hole Bush put us in? Hard to come back with an inning like that. What a jerk. Time to take it out on the Padres like we did at the end of last year.
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Wednesday, September 3, 2008 - Checkmate!

Checkmate has nothing to do with the Brewers, but with my personal redemption over my chess nemesis Djuro last night. I hate that guy. He's beaten me like 12 games in a row and that Chicago slob finally let down his guard and I crushed him. Victory is mine and it might be time to retire. Go out on top, you know.

Now I'm going to try and relate it to the Brewers. We're playing very unfortunately in this possible first-round playoff matchup. Even writing those words gives me the shivers. We need to salvage the series tonight. It's been amazing that for the most part, all the teams we needed to lose have still been losing- except for last night. Now- we're stuck in the middle. Leads and Gaps shrinking on both sides to 4.5. We just don't want the one behind us to get any smaller than 3. 24 games left. Holy schnikes. 24 games and we control our destiny. Screw chess.
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Tuesday, September 2, 2008 - We got Gagne'd... again

What is up with this guy? He always throws up meatballs to the first batter just to make it EXTRA exciting for the rest of his rollercoaster innings. It's like he wants heart attacks everywhere. Then, when he gets up on a guy like 0-2 to Delgado Gagne is like my restaurant experience. I ordered pork skewers and instead got Spanish meatballs last night. I was like, this is ridiculous- not what I ordered, but due to some slight confusion and the somewhat cheap nature of the food I wasn't sure if that was actually what I ordered. It was not.

And that's what the Gagne does- meatballs on a platter in 0-2 positions to throw away the game. Can we trust this guy a bit? When can he pitch? When we're up by 6 or down by 6- I think that's it.
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Monday, September 1, 2008 - CC Makes Me Want To PP

Regardless of the call they make on the no-no or lack thereof yesterday, Papa Bear took care of business. Can't you imagine CC in the blue overalls and yellow shirt, relaxing after a game, going into the forest to see what bee hives he can find? What a stud that guy is. His bare-handed stab on the broken bat up the middle and subsequent play was pure reflex. Did you see the picture on the Journal Sentinel of the Prince trying and being able to lift up CC? That was incredible.

We are seriously so good now. St. Louis is slipping away. There are 26 games left in the regular season. 26 games left before the promised land of wet pants. I don't know how I'm going to react to playoff baseball. It might be too intense for me.

Also, I don't know if I can post or reference any more of my past WWF heroes. I've been 2 for 2 with posting about a wrestler and they've died young. RIP Crush. Pour one out for Mr. Perfect.
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Sunday, August 31, 2008 - Just Crushing It

Wowzas. We're really en fuego right now. Giving it to the Pirates whenever we want. Cameron is playing like a mad dog again- is he back on steroids?

Crush was one of my favorite wrestlers of the mid-90's. I think he was a Hawaiian dude and his finishing move was the Cranium Crush where he would stand behind his vanquished opponent and start squeezing their head- lifting the up and down. Obviously it was a submission move. Once I saw him explode somebody's head and there was blood and guts and brains everywhere. Just kidding about the head exploding. Maybe we can incorporate that into our celebrations too though- after a double play- get the some cranium crush action on.
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Saturday, August 30, 2008 - Untuck it

I think the Prince began untucking his shirt as the ball was being thrown towards him for the final out. It was awesome. Way awesomer than this tool with his shirt untucked.
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Friday, August 29, 2008 - Get Out the Six Shooters

We were discussing appropriate baseball celebrations yesterday and my brother said he could understand opposing team's players getting upset by the Brewers after the untucking of shirts. "Making a human pyramid after a game would also be fun, but you don't see teams doing that." At the same time, this is the same brother who made a 12 year-old cry after beating him in Uno and busting out the six shooters.

The Turnbow sloppiness has not escaped the team (though he has). Cameron has kept it alive with the shirt untucks after a hard day of work. I don't know how cool of a celebration this is- it just makes them look like little kids getting ready for bed with their big shirts. If it works for them and they are trying to win so badly that they can untuck their shirts- I'm all for it.
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Thursday, August 28, 2008 - They Are Who We Thought They Were

And we let them off the hook. Last night was the dagger opportunity we've been waiting for. Very disappointing that we didn't come through with that one. How did we let it unravel?

Villanueva was money in getting out of that bases loaded jam in the 7th that ended in some jawing with Pujols. I think it's ridiculous (but awesome) when these players get so angry talking about the integrity of the game and all that nonsense. Clearly, they're doing whatever they can to motivate themselves. It gets a little ridiculous when everyone has so much pride in the game and they challenge themselves to see who can take the most offense like the current presidential election. This certainly makes the wild card more interesting. Dang. I did not want interesting until the playoffs started. But I guess it's better if you earn it.
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Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - A Beatdown Worthy of the Hammer of Mighty Thor

What a big game for us. We went into the Lion's Den that is Busch Stadium with pretty much the wild card berth on the line. The Cardinals' feelings must be hurt pretty badly, right? 12 to 0? Ouch. To be fair, the game was a lot closer than that score (seems hard to believe, but true). Highlights include Sheetsy's duel with Pujols (kept hitless) when there were runners on the corners with 1 out. Magical that he coaxed a pop-up out of him on the 3rd pitch.

Seriously, the Brewers are really good now. We have one game left against the Cards (up 10-4 in the season series). We're 22 (TWENTY TWO) games above 500. This is special.
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Tuesday, August 26, 2008 - Like a Good Neighbor

Hold on for a second as I present a brief psychological profile of Teve:

Teve clearly leads a sad life. Most likely he works for an insurance company- a personal prison like one of State Farm Mutual Automobile Insurance Companies. He sits at his desk all day with nothing to do, trying to look busy, lamenting his pathetic life- that he doesn't get paid more, that no one at his company would care or notice if never showed up again, and has to sit in this dungeon in a degrading cube that does not afford enough privacy. What a sad life he's committed himself to- stuck with no courage to find a new line of life. Instead he docilely sits there while visiting other people's websites, trying to rain on their parade, trying to make them as miserable as he is. Constantly hitting Refresh, refresh, refresh. Praying for something new to break up the tedium of his day and do anything to make it end sooner. So take heart that the comments from this sad fellow are the pinnacle of his day.

But enough of that. Huuuuu-UGE series against the Cards tonight. I know it won't put them away, but a 2-game sweep would go a long way towards cementing wet pants.
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Monday, August 25, 2008 - Inside the Numbers

What a game last night. I love how CC starting = a win, no matter what. And now, a new feature called ask the accountant?

We really do have a chance to catch the Cubs, look at their 7 last series. 9 game road trip and then completely brutal stretch against Milwaukee, St. Louis and the Mets to finish the season out (so happens to be the best three teams in the NL). If we can pick up a game or two this week and go into September down 3 or 4 I think it is pretty reasonable to think we can catch them if we take 4 of 6 in the two series we play against them. We are on page for 94 wins, would be great to get 96. Just looked at the schedule, looks like CC and Sheets will both pitch against the Cubs if we hold to our rotation.
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Sunday, August 24, 2008 - Bringing the intensity

Oh man oh man oh man. The Crew is really playing solidly right now. How many more games do we have against these Pirates? 8? That's not a bad thing. So fantastic how we're rolling, everyone's contributing. And then there's Señor Braun- nailing another HUGE dong and the double. Ribcage shibcage.

What a game by the US Hoops last night or yesterday or late in China, whatever. One of the most intense games start to finish I've ever seen. Is that what the playoffs are like in MLB? If so, I'm not sure if I'll even be able to take it.
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Saturday, August 23, 2008 - We're Hungry

The Brewers are so hungry right now and so am I. My girlfriend is out of town and I don't even know what to eat- basically cereal or nothing. Bush has really recovered and come on strong! I absolutely love that all our pitchers are going so deep now. The bullpen is saved and fresh, but my question is, does this mean our starters are wearing out since they're going so long? I'm not really sure.

Fantastic explosion in the 7th. Pour it on guys.
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Friday, August 22, 2008 - What Dreams May Come

I had a dream last night that the Brewers were playing a series against the Cubs. It was estupendous! A lot of dongs back and forth. Gloves flashing left and right. Ups and downs on the scoreboard- very emotional game. Not the most resting sleep (except for the fact that I always sleep on a Serta bed and always have a great sleep and they paid me a zillion for the picture placement (jk on Serta- the PYPFTB Executive Committee don't make any money except the profit of love and excitement on this fun journey)) because of all the anxiety.

But you know what? Our boys pulled it out and then the field quickly transformed into the clubhouse and I was there- on a pirate ship. And the water from the champagne started filling up the clubhouse and it became a sea. I was on the seven seas and then the drain of the ocean came unplugged and there was a giant whirlpool. Aaarrrgh!!! I guess you can't take too much from the dream.
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Thursday, August 21, 2008 - Kapler is Strong

What a pickup Gabe Kapler was. The fountain of youth is the gift that keeps on giving. I was at the final nail in the coffin game against the Cubs in the right field bleachers. Gabe was playing in right and he rifled the ball past the ball girl he was playing catch with several times, once nearly decapitating a sprinting grounds crew. But seriously, that mofo is a strong man and he plays anywhere! He looks like Mr. Hyde. What a game he gave us yesterday too. That gun of an arm saved a run and then his rbi double.

Gagne gave me another heart attack last night, but somehow got out of the bases loaded no outs jam with 2 pitches. Fantastique!
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Wednesday, August 20, 2008 - Down in the Dumps

Poor Sheetsy. The man is 1-5 in his last 6 starts. Not very good at all. Sorry about the big delay. System was down. I'm going to go beat up Godaddy very shortly. This is unacceptable. The state of the Brewers requires utmost attention and renewed vigor from the PYPFTB Executive Committee.
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Tuesday, August 19, 2008 - CC = Mr. Perfect

CC is really too good. He contributes in every single way. Monster game on the mound, clutch 2-out at-bats to open up the game. He might be the best thing to happen to the Brewers this year. He's absolutely perfect. Can he creep up in MVP and Cy Young conversations, or not enough starts?

And what's up with Mr. Perfect? Can you believe he thought he was the hot stuff with that blonde greasy perm? Is he dead in real life? I think if he is, that kind of sabotages his own claims of being perfect. He will be missed though, along with CC next year.
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Monday, August 18, 2008 - He Really is the Best

What a game and effort by the Crew last night. How good is Ryan Braun? I love that we have him until the apocalypse in 2013. This guy comes in after not being able to breathe or sneeze for the last week and does what's he paid to do in the 9th. Two bad hacks and then just punishes the ball to the bullpen. (Another one of my favorite things about baseball. When a dong is hit into the bullpen and the relief pitchers do the knockout punch as it lands? Awesome). Unfortunately, it was for naught as the men in blue came back. Erasing a 4-run deficit in the 9th. That's great resilience.

The early damage first-pitch dong to the Soup Nazi always has to hurt and frustrate, huh? You're all pumped for a good game, you want to start a game strong and before the catcher is able to grab the ball, you're snapping your head back at 90 miles an hour to see your Run per Pitch count rise to a 1000. That was like Gagne a couple of days ago, where he comes in for relief- and of course, first pitch just nailed down the line for a double.
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Sunday, August 17, 2008 - Got room for one more if you still want to go to Aspen

What a game! Did you see that catch by Kapler? Did you see Hart's face plant into the wall after his stellar grab? Did you see Cameron's slip'n slide snag in the bottom of the 8th? And of course JJ provided all the drama for the action heroes. Way to redeem yourself kid. Today the Brewers are going after their 5th straight series win. Old Man Soup (we can get 70 miles to gallon on this hog) will take on the young Clayton Kershaw, who's obviously from Texas. Whatever. You don't scare me.
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Saturday, August 16, 2008 - Oof!

That one stings a little bit. The Manny War didn't go off quite as expected for the Crew. I saw a brief bit in SI this past week about up and coming minor leaguers. They had a blurb about LaPorta that giving up CC was worth it for the Indians. That the stud LaPorta will probably be a consistent bat in the middle of the lineup for the next decade. Whew! That's a long time. I really think this is a scenario where it was a great deal for both teams. The excitement CC has brought to Mil-town has been off the hook. I love that mofo.
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Friday, August 15, 2008 - Add Oil! Add Oil!

These Chinese Olympics have been especially impressive. I almost feel bad for the London who hosts 2012. But there are some things we can learn from those in Beijing. Beijing organizers are promoting an officially sanctioned chanting routine for the Chinese fans. Incorporating the ubiquitous Chinese sporting chant, "Jiayou" or "add oil," they designed a four-step routine. I love that it's Add Oil! Is there a more perfect example for their collectivist, person as expendable machine conception of the human body.

The routine begins with "Olympics -- add oil" accompanied by two claps and a double thumbs up, before continuing with "China -- add oil" with two more claps and raised fists. The "China" and "Olympics" can be replaced to allow support for other countries or individuals, the paper said. Double thumbs up! This could be a revolutionary new cheer if we adopted it first in Miller Park. Now that we've finally lost- it's time for another 9-game streak.
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Thursday, August 14, 2008 - Who needs a hero?

Special times. These are special times my friends. The brewers average game attendance is 37,500. 14 straight sell-outs at Miller Park. 30 sell-outs in 58 home games this season.
We've won 8 in a row... for the second time this SEASON!!!!
We're 6 games over .500... ON THE ROAD!!!!
Our starters are on a hot streak for the ages: 9-2 with a 1.95 ERA in the last 12 games. In the month of August we have outscored opponents 65-25.
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Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - Don't Look Now

But here comes Yovani el Gallardo. He's currently on the road with us and rehab seems to be going well. Melvin and Yost are both saying they are not relying on him coming back this year, but it appears that he might be ready. If he does return it definitely will not be a starting role, but short relief stints as he won't be able to get his leg in proper condition. Kind of amazing if he comes back.

I don't mean to be a jerk to Yovani, but would we have ever gotten CC if Yovani had not gotten injured? Sabathia has been an unbelievable acquisition and I'm not sure we would have pursued him with Gallardo in the lineup. Maybe we would have though and that lineup of CC, Sheets, Gallardo, Parra is truly scary. Great mustache Donald Sutherland.
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Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - Cherish these Brewers

Brewerandy was absolutely right to recount the Sutton story of recognizing what we've got. This team is so good and young and exciting and hungry and fun to watch. To have a team like this with so much chemistry is a special thing. These 15 consecutive sellouts are great, but they'll need us later on as well- when things aren't going as well.

My only gripe with them is that they're peaking when the Olympics just started. I know I'm being super-selfish, but these Olympics are taking up a lot of my time. I think I may have logged 30+ hours of Olympic coverage already and I cannot get enough of Bob Costas' smooth delivery. I was hoping that one of the Brewers' few slumps with coincide with the Olympics. Don't get me wrong, it's awesome.
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Monday, August 11, 2008 - Indubitably

I got a text from my little bro last night asking if Parra dominated. And the answer? Yes, yes he did. What a game last night for the Crew. The Parra-dactyl took care of biz like nobody else- dominating through seven. And then Mr. Gagne took over. What I don't get with that guy is how he gets the first 2 batters easy peasy and then literally collapses. You can see it happening where he just becomes eminently hittable and a run producer.

But he's not the story of a game- we took it down with lucky 13 for old man Kapler. Good work grandpa. Poor man's Tobey Maguire also got some playing time and performed better than Tobey's mail-in for Spidey 3.
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Sunday, August 10, 2008 - Puzzlemaster

Ben Sheets is a legitimate puzzlemaster. I bet he goes on vacations. Whoa whoa whoa. I'm watching an absurd commercial for Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Crackers where the kids take a bite of a Mac & Cheese cracker (not sure what that is) and then a huge geyser of digital cheese GUSHES and raised them up- it's disgusting. I don't think I want to eat anything like that. Back to Sheetsy. The mofo is legit. Complete games are so cool for the Brewers now. Everybody is doing it.
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Saturday, August 9, 2008 - Schwing!

Ryan Braun is clearly the luckiest guy in the world- getting to do this commercial with Marisa Miller. She's my absolute favorite. Great butt, gorgeous face, nice moves on the dance floor I'm betting. I have a friend named Adam who often sends me pictures of Marisa Miller. Then he has a pretty good joke. He calls her Mrs. Adam Finklemento. Whatever movie they end up making, I'm going to watch it just on repeat on YouTube. I won't tell my gf, or if she asks what I'm up to I'll just say it's research for this site.

RIP Mr. 3000. RIP Bernie Mac.
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Friday, August 8, 2008 - She says the jungle... it just came alive and took him.

This line doesn't really relate to anything the Brewers or done, it is just another startingly scary description of what the Predator is capable of. Maybe the Brewers should wear camouflage uniforms sometimes like the Padres- THEN it would apply and we could sneak up on the Nats big time- they'd be terrified. Cousin Jon told me earlier this week how he watched Predator again, "Every line is a classic. My roommate watched it for the first time and he was totally freaked out by the Predator." I do not blame the roommate one bit.

Kind of weird how for Predator 2 they took it to an urban environment with Danny Glover. I guess they were trying to combine the best of both worlds- gritty urban crimescape and the most terrifying alien monster and outer space. I guess in hindsight, it's surprising it's not the top film of all-time. So ends Predator Week.
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Thursday, August 7, 2008 - This thing is hunting us. ALL of us. You know that?

The Predator may be the most deadly beast in all of history. I don't really know how the Arnold was able to stop him. His cakemud to cool him down seems like it wouldn't last that long especially with all the flexing. Whatever. This quote serves as a warning to the rest of the league. The bumbling Brewers on the road are a thing of the past. We're going after everyone. We've already matched last season's road wins and we're going for more. 4 games over 5 hundred on the road? I'll take that satisfaction.

And I'm really enjoying how Suppan is talking, "We're getting to the point with this team that experience is taking over. The core of the team has played with each other. And there's a mix of other players. I think when you get a team with more experience you're able to understand situations, confront them and move on. You can see that maturity with our team." The Brewers are so mature- like me and also like peeing your pants.
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Wednesday, August 6, 2008 - If it bleeds, we can kill it

Edinson Volquez who? Oh, we were so worried about this all-star right-hander. Oh, we won't be able to take him down. Well last time I checked- he was a pitcher who throws balls that players have the opportunity to get hit. Meaning? Meaning he is basically the same as the Predator- and we hit that fool for all he was worth in a clobbering and redemptive win.

Very funny that the Prince fight was caused by a stray zipper. Cousin J was totally right that Parra kind of looks at the Prince like, "Oh jeez, I hit him with my zipper in the face and he's going to kill me for it. He's not even overreacting- that's an appropriate reaction for zipper hitting." And then the Prince was like, "Yeah! You better watch us bat and another thing [gets hit with the zipper] WTF? You little lady! Did you just hit me with your zipper? I'm going to shove you as hard as I can not once, but twice- and the 2nd time in your stupid face!" All I'm saying is don't ever hit me with a zipper in the face.
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Tuesday, August 5, 2008 - What's the matter? The CIA got you pushing too many pencils?

The tension of the crack commando team between Dutch (Arnold) and Dillon (Carl Weathers) is a great corrolary to the Prince-Parra matchup. Okay, not really. I don't know who would be CIA and who would be the commando. And I don't understand the tension that made the Prince explode. He absolutely looked crazy, huh? He's like a genuine crazy fire hydrant man with that shaved head and packed lip.

Everyone certainly got him surrounded and under control pretty quickly. This is when it would be the best to be in the dugout- to hear what actually was going on and then get some yells in at Prince, "what are you doing? Come on Prince- hit another dong!" I watched a replay with a Reds announcer- what a doofus, "they're falling apart in the dugout. it all started when they got swept by the mets in milwaukee [never corrected himself]. And now you're seeing it in the dugout and you'll probably see that leak into the clubhouse." I bet he wanted to go on, "that's it for the brewers. you might as well stick a fork in them, they're done- self-destructing like the hindenberg," but the other announcer told him to shut up by kicking him in his shins.
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Monday, August 4, 2008 - I Ain't Got Time To Bleed

That's right mothaflippa. As PREDATOR WEEK starts off with a bang, the Brewers are all business. So what if we laid an egg against Atlanta in the final frame of the three-game set. We're taking the travelling road show to Cincy and we're going to hunt down the Predator- future alien. I love how two actors from the Predator movie became governors in the United States. That is absurd. I don't know if there are any other movies that share that pedigree.
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Sunday, August 3, 2008 - We're killing them off one at a time.... like hunters

Oh yeah, the Crew is taking care of business in Hotlanta in a big way. I wish more dances and rap movements would come from Atlanta, or Milwaukee. I'm going to invent the Predator. In fact- this whole week is PREDATOR WEEK. Get ready for the business!
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Saturday, August 2, 2008 - Lit Up Turner

Last night was basically the scene in Predator where Dutch and the crew completely light up the jungle with guns blazing aimlessly trying to kill that friggen invisible freak alien predator. The Brewers didn't make up all four games in one night, but they definitely mowed down the Braves and sent a message. If you saw their faces last night, you could see that they were all business. Look for the mowing to continue throughout the weekend as the Crew stays hot on the road.
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Friday, August 1, 2008 - We're better than this

Whoa, whoa whoa, Ms. Lippy! The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for his puppy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits! You get your a** out there, and you find that effing dog!
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Thursday, July 31, 2008 - Tragic so far

Clearly this series has not gone as planned. After the supremely exciting game 1, we've had our butts handed to us on a plate. No question about it we've played like garbage. All the small mistakes are unacceptable against a good team like the Cubs. Walks, errors, strikeouts on wild pitches turning into baserunners who score- NOOOOO!

Today's afternoon game is pretty important for my psyche and the Brewers. I want a win: 24 to negative 2.
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Wednesday, July 30, 2008 - Not Going As Planned

This kid was spending a long day at the office and doing some extra monitoring of the Brewers-Cubs game on the side. Everything was going as planned, it was a tight and good game. He checked the scores again in the sixth and to his surprise and consternation, his Brewers were in a large hole. "Probably too minor to be working kid, but you're hitting the long hours anyway," I know how you're feeling. What happened to us last night? Braun made a valiant attempt, but you either have to catch it or block it, not let it slide to the wall.

We've still got Parra today and a national tv audience to erase the mistakes of the last two games. Time to kick in the Cubs teeth.
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008 - Awww Man...

What an exciting game. We really had those motherflippas I thought. The defensive gems by Cameron's rocket to home and then the Prince's dive and shovel to a screaming Sabathia- a lot of meat on that play! And then there was Hardy's body contortions after CC's deflection- beautiful. Those defensive beauties inspired JJ and Braun to get back in the game with back to back sweetness dongs. Unreal!

And then our mistakes came back to haunt us- Rickie with that terrible throwing error. Admittedly, it was a tough slide, but he's got to stay in there a little longer or jump in the air- not take himself out. Torres also shot himself in the foot a bit with those 1-out walks. Ugh! 3 games to go. And the match-up of 2008 today.
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Monday, July 28, 2008 - The Showdown

The day has finally arrived and the series is here. The Cubs are making their first trip to Miller Park for 4 games. Did you know the division lead hangs in the balance? Did you know the Brewers are winning the season series so far and we've only played at Wrigley? And did you know the Brewers are pitching their 1-2-3 of Sabathia, Sheets, and Parra? Of course you knew all these things.

It's a regular showdown. I actually saw the short movie depicted in the pic. It stinks! It's a comparison of an old-time Western duel to a pitcher v hitter battle. The movie would have been my favorite of all-time if Sabathia were the pitcher. Would have received 4 stars from Duane Dudek, Oscar nominations for best picture and actor, etc.
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Sunday, July 27, 2008 - Mighty Mighty Brewers

I love Jen's comment from last night: "YEAH HAW!!! Just came back from the game. Man, after Braun's dong, the place was electric. Then AFTER the game, when everyone is filing out, people were chanting LET"S GO BREWERS!! Strangers were high fiving each other." Stranger high fives are the best. Especially in Pick'n Save. Brewers fans are jacked right now and they don't care who knows it. Today is so awesome too. It's like Cubs-Series Eve. Honestly, I don't think the 'stros stand a chance today. We are going to clown them like we did when Stan Ross pulled the hidden ball trick on 'em in Mr. 3000. We're finally getting some of that national attention too. Bob Ley opened last night's highlights by raving about the "Mighty Mighty Brewers". That's right Bob, the Brewers are turnin' up the heat. And if you can't stand the heat in the kitchen, GET OUT IT WILL INCREASE! High five.
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Saturday, July 26, 2008 - It's alright, it's okay, there's something to live for

Well, we weren't going to go undefeated the rest of the way. The thing was, in that final inning, with Corey on-base, I thought we were going to do it. Apparently, all the players did too as they were all swinging for the fences and that magical tying dong. Parra pitched a beaut and got out of most of his jams, except for the costly bases loaded seventh.

How about that blood-curdling scream from Mike in American Movie? That was scary.
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Friday, July 25, 2008 - I'm a Broken Record

The Brewers are so good. I love the Brewers. This is the best I've ever seen the Brewers play. I could go on and on like this all day. What an exciting time. I honestly thought I was hallucinating when he hit that. It was unbelievable. La Russa's face was so priceless too. Complete shock and disgust. Frankly, I'd say this is beyond the '92 season. 7-0 road trip is a franchise record, 20 straight games with a homer is a franchise record, and winning 3 of a 4 game road sweep in St. Louis on last inning homers is definitely something I've never seen before. My brain just exploded.

I don't think we can praise Ryan Braun enough either. This was the 2nd game in the series where he was one short of the cycle. He just bypasses doubles- why wouldn't he go straight to third? His dong 2 nights ago for the 3rd insurance run was dope. And then he's the hero last night after asking Hall if he had one more in him. I love these guys too much.
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Thursday, July 24, 2008 - This Guy is a Horse!

CC Sabathia is too good to be true. I mean, he came to Milwaukee and immediately switched his website to show him in a Brewers uniform. Except for his first game jitters (where he was still very good), he has been a total beast- dominating 3 complete games, contributing at the plate with a dong and a double. He's talking about the team with the first person plural, "I didn’t really have any expectations. I knew we had a good team, I knew we scored runs and if I kept us in some games, I could win some games.”

My favorite part of the game was when the Prince celebrated the win with CC after the final out. They did a little hug, fist-pump thing and as CC walked away to get his daps from everyone else, the Prince wanted more and gave CC a huge slap in the butt. Great headline from The Onion, C.C. Sabathia, Prince Fielder Keep Imagining Each Other As Giant Talking Hot Dog, Hamburger. The Crew is so competitive right now. To walk into St Louis and break their will like this has been impressive to watch.
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - Can't Keep Us Down

Thrilling comeback by our boys in blue shirts and gray pants last night. Just a gritty, never-say-die performance. St Louis has to be pretty peeved that they let it slip away, though it wasn't so much a slip as we pried and stole it from their fighting hands. Billy Hall is my personal hero. Maybe he'll hit 1 more dong in each of the next 2 games to the exact same spot.

And as everyone knows, now the big dogs are pitching. Obviously there are no guarantees, but I'll take my chances with CC Sheets in any 2-game series. Goodness, I'm really giddy. I would have taken 2 games in the whole series at St Louis, but to get the first two. We're in tip-top shape. Man, I hate clowns though.
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Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - Wild Ones played last night

As Yost says, the first one in a series is always sweet to have. What's even better are the first two, superior is the first 3, and the ultimate is a 4-game sweep. Yesterday was truly a dynamic win. Our bullpen held strong with some of the cardiac kids in there- Mota and Gagne. It came down to Torres letting it slip away, but fortunately our guys gave him another chance. I love how he's a closer that can go 2 innings when necessary.

Rickie Strongs is certainly heating up. Maybe he heard rumors of the Durham trade and doesn't want to lose his spot. That's great news. He just needs a mentor like Durham to raise his on-base percentage by 100 points.
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Monday, July 21, 2008 - The Smartest Kid in the World

I was standing in the concession line at AT&T Park on Sunday for some Giroy Garlic Fries and a refreshing brew when I started listening to a 5 year-old kid behind me asking his dad questions. "Can I get a Super-Rope? Are those seats above us? Aahhh, they're going to fall!" Then he asked his dad, "Are the Brewers the champions?" I turned to the kid, "Not yet, son. But they're playing like champions." What a cap to the weekend.

The Brewers are awesome. We ripped up a formerly 11-2 pitcher, now 11-3, with effective hitting. Braun was just ridiculous with a 3-run dong and another 2 rbi double that was feet away from duplicating his first feat. The whole series consisted of tight games (couldn't tell by the scores), but the Brewers played the whole time like they expected to win. Confidence is key. Check out the accompanying pic from Saturday- all the fine travelling Brewers fans in SF (what up Fennimore!) and everyone back home have something to cheer about.
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Sunday, July 20, 2008 - SPLASH!

The Prince's 100th landed in the water- and what a shot to mark his heating up at the perfect time in the season. After Sheets got shellacked for 4 runs, I was worried and hoping he would get angry at himself for letting Sabathia outgun him. The 2 runs on the wild pitch were extra exciting to get it to 4-3. After Counsell's first-pitch out, I didn't have too much faith in Rickie Strongs, who was 0 for 2 in his first at-bats. But you know what he did? He came through for us and I love him a lot. Very exciting game that the Brewers happily took down.

This Sabathia move was so good it's making me sick. “We figured CC was going to watch one of his pitches,” said Braun. “But he wanted to watch one of his at-bats to see what went wrong. He felt like he missed one.” Outstanding dedication from the big man. I hope that Sheets and he get into a serious friendly competition to see who's the top dog. CC can push Sheets like no one else.
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Saturday, July 19, 2008 - Give it up for CC

This is how I was after each of CC's 10 k's last night. He just destroyed them- up and down the lineup. And then his double? Whoee, did he rake that ball. A lot of Brewers fans out and about too- with a lot to cheer.

There's a saying that the coldest winter you'll ever spend is a summer in San Francisco. It's true. The weather was mostly miserable last night in the left field grand stands. Moved down to some good seats later in the game- and they were warmer. Everything's better when you pay more!
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Friday, July 18, 2008 - The Next Dream Team

Sabathia, Sheets, and Parra. Are you kidding me? That's our lineup for the Giants series this weekend and I'm hoping it proves dominant. Seriously- those motherflippers are good. What makes this especially exciting is that I'll be in San Francisco for the weekend and will enjoy all 3 games in person. San Francisco- open your Golden Gate!
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Thursday, July 17, 2008 - Time to relax Prince

Straight from the Prince, “Early in the season I pressed. And that’s the frustrating part. If I would have just been [chill], especially in April, if I would have just relaxed, I would have been right.” I could do some relaxing for him. Imagine if Prince turns it around. We'll be dynamite.
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Wednesday, July 16, 2008 - What Excitement!

What a game! It was almost like the final baseball scene in A League of Their Own when the ball trickles, TRICKLES, out of Geena Davis' hand. Corey had the throw to extend the game and was just a little off-target. I was thinking would a good play to be to let it drop and throw it on the hop so they could get the force out at home? But that's idiotic. The runner would still be tagging, but the extra time for the bounce would make it not even close. Oh Corey! I know it's not your fault, but I was so excited for the World Series to begin at Miller Park, but now it looks like the Crew is going to have to win some games on the road to make this magical dream season a reality.

Slightly annoying how once it got to extra innings all the commentators talked about was the exhausted pitchers. Clearly everyone was hoping that the bullpens would get used up and they'd have to dive in to positional players pitching. Corey Hart on the mound? You better believe it.

Overall, good showing by the Brewers. Sheets was dirty with 3 k's in 2 innings, though he did throw a hefty 42 pitches! Braun and the Hartster were ineffective at the plate but they looked good. I think the big loser of the evening would have to be the Marlins' Mr. Ugly- 6 errors all season, and he had 3 last night. Ouch!
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Tuesday, July 15, 2008 - Derby Danger

Great showing by Ryan last night. I think the biggest worry for any batter is embarrassing themselves and not hitting any. Not for Ryan, he hit 17, made it to the 2nd round. Put a big scare in people that he was going to advance with 4 dongs in a row. I like his stroke and am glad he didn't have to mess it up with a ton of swings. Sure, he was overshadowed by the beast Hamilton, but that's okay.

Big congrats to Sheets for starting the All-Star game- a real and deserved honor. Hopefully the Crew can do a little better than the Prince last year. I remember one of the first plays was an easy grounder and routine throw to first- which he dropped. Oof! It didn't end up costing a run, but you're better than that Prince. You're an All-Star!
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Monday, July 14, 2008 - This Guy Can Do It All

He pitches a complete game and hits a dong in a 1-run game when he needed him to stop the sweep? Sabathia is the man. My one question to Yost, is how come you pitch hit CC (Craig Counsell) for CC (Christopher Columbus) in the 9th? Is it possible Sabathia is a better batter? I'm just messing around with that comment, but it's great that he's a true threat at the plate. I never understood why more pitchers don't pride themselves on batting and contributing more to their own wins. Pedro Martinez treated it like an absolute joke and goes to bat like it's a giant joke. Yovani and Sabathia have some pride.

My prediction for the World Series? Sabathia goes AWOL the night before Game 7 at Miller Park (his start). Five minutes before, no during the National Anthem, Albert Brooks persuades Sabathia that we need him and the Miller Park roof slowly opens to reveal a chopper descending into center field. Out walks Sabathia to begin pitching. His first pitch burns a hole through the bat and knocks Kendall down. Sabathia proceeds to pitch a no-no and hit a dong- the Brewers only run.
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Sunday, July 13, 2008 - Remember the Alamo!!

Well, the series is gone and now we're fighting for pride and to end on a high note and all that other good cheer. It's Sabathia's turn as the stopper- the last man standing. I'm confident he's the real deal. The Cubs' lead is starting to expand a bit. I imagine it would after performances like Gagne had last night. Yost said, "I thought Gagné's stuff was really, really good. He just made some mistakes out over the plate." Yeah, two dongs to the enemy sounds really good. It's bad when struggling relievers go out in mop-up roles and get clobbered (a la Turnbow). Not good for anyone's psyche.
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Saturday, July 12, 2008 - Smarter than the average bear

I love it when managers talk themselves in circles and aren't making any sense. “Cameron’s error, he ran a mile then looked up and the ball was in the lights,” Yost said. “That’s not an error, but it is an error. It’s scored an error but it’s not an error.” Huh? I guess he's making a good point. But 3 errors are a terrible point and that's why we lost the game and the Wild Card. Ugh. We should really win the rest before the break to stay hot.
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Friday, July 11, 2008 - Spiderman's True Identity Revealed

I was trying to look for something good Rivera did today (not much with an error and not throwing a thief out). I think his main contribution to the team is looking like a goofy and kind of chubby Tobey Maguire. I hope that Rivera milks his doppelganger for all it's worth. Dressing up in the spidey suit and doing jazz numbers at Hi-Hat. Seriously though, everyone is contributing. He gave Kendall a day off and called the right pitches for Bushie to pitch a gem with lucky 13 K's. Lucky 13 mothaflippa! And with the win (and a couple of losses), we are in sole possession of the wild card and a spot in the playoffs. Giddy up! I love us so much.

Congratulations to Corey and the key to my Hart and all Milwaukee fans for his first All-Star selection. No offense, but the All-Star selections seem like a huge joke with fans' clicking deciding who goes. Very impressive that Milwaukee beat out the biggest market of all in NY's Wright. I've always felt an inordinate amount of pride in the fact that Milwaukee is full of the best sports fans and that are tv rankings for sporting events are routinely higher than the national average. Kudos to the Brewers for being unable to contain their excitement, "A couple minutes into his news conference, about a dozen of his teammates rushed into the room and sprayed Hart and his children with beer, loudly cheering the news." Really? Spraying beer on the kids? I love it.
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Thursday, July 10, 2008 - Mota Crash!

That son of a b- he did it again. Mota made it look easy getting the first 2 outs, and I thought we had a chance- down 1 run with Miller Park rocking. And then he threw it away! We were totally in the game and Mota just blew it up. This wasn't as bad as the Arizona debacle last week, but it was pretty stinking bad. Cameron certainly did not help with a HUGE mistake that was charitably not called an error- allowing a run to score and turning a single into a triple (though I guess the point was moot when the next batter hit a dong).

I think Cameron's error is one of the more embarrassing plays in sports- charging in for a ball and then having it scuttle past you all the way to the wall. I think he could've run faster, no? Glendale Little League baseball tryouts 1991: grounders in the gym- 1 kid at a time. When it's my turn in the spotlight, the ball naturally skids through my legs. I turn and chase with all eyes watching and probably throw a 3-hopper that the catcher had to run 10 feet for. Humiliation is mine!
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Wednesday, July 9, 2008 - This is the way we roll, we roll

Great ovations for Sabathia last night- I think he's going to love Mil-town. We're so NASTY right now- it's like we're the bad guys in Space Jam- Charles Barkley, Patrick Ewing, Muggsy Bogues, and (I guess) Shawn Bradley. That movie was pretty awesome- getting pumped up for a cartoon basketball with the soundtrack of Jock Jams playing in the background.

I love how confident all the Crew is. All the players and coaches are saying, "I liked our team before and thought we were good, but now? Now I think we're really good!" I'm so impressed with Doug Melvin. When someone told him about the Cubs move for Harden he was able to guess 3 of the 4 players included in the deal. These guys know everything. Also cool, that the door is still open for more moves. The only problem with adding new players is we have to make room for them. And with our lineup, that's tough to do. Very exciting times for the Crew.
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Tuesday, July 8, 2008 - Unveiling a Hero

A little disappointing last night. I thought the momentous moment of the Sabathia signing would generate enough momentum for the night. Whatevs. The man is heading to the mound tonight. He seems excited to be here. The Brewers are excited to have him. The fans are THRILLED with 27,000 individual tickets sold last night. And I absolutely love Doug Melvin's words, "We're going for it."

Is this a free agent move on the same level as Reggie White? Obviously, it's a one-season rental as opposed to the signing a cornerstone of our team. But Sabathia has a great opportunity to make an extreme short-term impact and become part of Brewers lore. Have you checked out CC's website, ccsabathia52.com? He is already in a Brewers uniform, "Baseball is his passion. Family is his life. The Brewers are his team."
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Monday, July 7, 2008 - Welcome C.C. Sabathia

Apparently we're going for it all this year. I got a text yesterday from Ross at Insomniac Ink (he makes all the great PYP gear) simply saying, "Sabathia is a Brewer." The Brewers, the team and the organization, are so good right now. Obviously our superb farm system made this trade possible. We have enough kids in the bank that we can make a trade like this and not mortgage the future. And then there's Attanasio, who's made a huge commitment to winning, and pulled the trigger on a nearly $90 million payroll. It's good that Attanasio is rich. Owning a team is basically the biggest toy a rich guy can have and I'm glad he's getting excited to spend that extra $5-10 mil for those 4 extra wins.

Throughout the Sabathia sweepstakes I was never convinced we would get the 6-foot-7, 290-pound lefty. The move felt like a stretch for the Brewers. No way small-market Milwaukee makes a move for the reigning Cy Young. That's Boston territory, that's New York, or even the Flubs. But WE did it. This giant stud is on our team now and about to join the hottest team in baseball. Get ready for Tuesday's unveiling.
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Sunday, July 6, 2008 - Rock Solid

Motocross guys are crazy. Some of the moves have names that make sense- like the Double Grab, Kiss of Death, or Lazy Boy. This picture is a move called Rock Solid. I have no idea why it's called that. But I DO know that's what the Brewers are now- rock solid and just crushing the Pirates' spirit. What a win (for Gagne). The Prince came through and took us to the house. I wonder if the Brewers have rallied around Gagne or if they don't like him like all the fans.
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Saturday, July 5, 2008 - Hardy Boys on a tear

Is JJ for real? 4 for 5? 16-game hitting streak? Extra good looks continuing? You better believe it. This guy's a stud and half and I love how he's taking over. All Brewers do is hit 10 dongs- minimum. "I think it was the best thing for me to take those days off. I think it's that, I think it's me being healthier. I'm just thinking about seeing the ball and hitting it, and it's just kind of falling for me. I'm feeling pretty good."

I'm going to use JJ's excuse to take 5 days off work. I'll come back re-energized, with a huge beard, stinky shoes, a couple of black eyes (3), a new outlook on life, an extra 5 lbs in my thighs (my problem spot). My boss will see me and say, "take another 5 days home skillet. Get your life in order or you're outta here." I'll bumble at him, "but all JJ does is hit dongs. I want to be like JJ! I WANt To be A RHARYDY BOYZYZYYY!..."
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Friday, July 4, 2008 - Uh Oh, Love Comes To Town

Fourth of July time is cottage time. And cottage time involves Mr. Freeze, fireworks, swimming, Connect Four, charades, and Talking Heads. With all that going on, it's easy to forget about what happened yesterday. This is going to be a great weekend. Cubs and Cards are going to beat up on each other while we steal the Black Pearl from Captain Jack. Not to mention we might cap off the weekend with a brand new C.C. aaaaAAAAAAAHHH- WATCH out... You might get what you're after! Have a nice 4th everyone.
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Thursday, July 3, 2008 - Tell it to me straight Speech!

My first concert of all-time was Arrested Development at Summerfest in 1993. We were a group of 6th-graders going with a divorced dad and then afterwards had a sleepover at the dad's apartment/condo in downtown Milwaukee. The whole night we played hide and seek using the 2 elevator shafts, 6 elevators, and 20 floors- keeping everyone awake and acting like Mr. Wendal. That was awesome. It's great to see that Speech is still involved with Summerfest- but now he's selling corn! Nice move Speech! I wonder how much money he made off of Arrested Development. If he's working for the corn company because he likes it or to make ends meet.

The Crew is now 5-4 on this road trip after last night's win. Our rally in the 9th all started because of Russel's muscle. That wasn't an error by the 1st baseman, that guy risked his life trying to get in front of a Branyan grounder. "Get out of the way! Everyone move out!" Series win tonight...

Congrats to a whopping ten players from the Double-A Huntsville Stars are headed to the Southern League All-Star Game: Joe Bateman, Michael Brantley, Chris Errecart, Alcides Escobar, Mat Gamel, Steve Hammond, Matt LaPorta, Patrick Ryan, Angel Salome, and David Welch. We'll see you guys in the bigs soon. We should just trade all of them for Favre to pitch for the Brewers.
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Wednesday, July 2, 2008 - Roberto Clemente es el mejor

Anoche fui a La Perla para comer unos de los tacos ricos que tienen allí y me puse a pensar. El problema que tienen los Cerveceros es que no tenemos suficientes jugadores latinos. Tenemos algunos, como por ejemplo : Mota, Parra, Villanueva. Sin embargo no tenemos estrellas latinas. En realidad, no tiene que ser un problema. Podemos tener un equipo lleno de jugadores del planeta Marte, y a mi no importa si ganamos la Serie Mundial. ¿Verdad que sí? ¡Seguro que todos están de acuerdo conmigo!

Una cosa interesante con los beisbolistas latinoamericanos es que muchas veces no sabemos sus verdaderas edades. Mira este YouTube clip con Miguel Tejada. ¡Los reporteros de ESPN E:60 son unos pendejos!
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Tuesday, July 1, 2008 - Be Careful

2 in a row is not a good thing to lose. What I sort of like is that we're at a stage in the season where a 2-game slide is reason for concern. About a month and a half ago- it was commonplace. Let's keep it as an exception to the rule- the rule of winning and imposing our will on other teams.

Tough to salvage series wins when you lose the first one, but the Brewers, like every other sports organization like to play (and play better) when we have our backs against the wall, have a chip on our shoulder, have something to prove, our cornered, etc. etc.
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Monday, June 30, 2008 - Imaginary Bass

Kick it Cousin Jon! That's right- that's the man and the I Am Legend dominating a killer solo on the imaginary bass. He's being honored for his birthday on Friday- 28 years old! I wanted to get him a sweater, but instead gave him a phone call. Unfortunately for Jon, the Brewers lost on his bday, "which wasn't supposed to happen." They made up for it Saturday and then in a near collapse of the space-time continuum- Sheets got outpitched yesterday.

Better news is that the Cubbies got swept this weekend. As good as that sweep is, we still have to just worry about ourselves. One more battle in Arizona, and then the friendly confines of Miller Park beckon.
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Sunday, June 29, 2008 - Life Finds a Way

The Parra-dactyl overcame a lot today. He's dirty. He's nasty. He's a dirty, nasty player that gets wins all of a sudden. Did you know he's 8-2?!? That's extremely good. If you would have told me one of our pitchers not named Sheets or Yovani would have been 8-2, I might've shot you.

Great explanation of his winning ways from the man/dinosaur himself- Parra-dactyl: "I don't have to have my best stuff to do well as long as I'm going out there, being aggressive. It was just getting a couple of games with success and listening to (catcher) Jason (Kendall) and following Jason." On more than a few occasions this year, when a pitcher has made a mistake, he said it came after shaking off Kendall.

So is Kendall the best thing that happened to the Brewers this off-season? I hear poll question for Monday! Obviously I'm really pumped about the Brewers right now that I have a piece of floss hanging from my teeth (give it up for dental hygiene) at 2:31 Central time and I'm writing about the team that owns my heart. Did you guys know that Jeff Goldblum tried out to be an extra for Major League and was actually one of the Indians on the bench? That's not true, but it would be good. That guy is funny...
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Saturday, June 28, 2008 - That was a Wild One

What a game last night. Very disappointing that we ended up on the wrong side of it. As you know, had we won, we would've been tied for the wildcard spot!!1!! And only 4.5 back from the Cubs, who also lost. Can you believe it? These guys have come so far since that ugly part of the season and they should be very proud (I am). I'm so jealous of Cousin Jon and the location of his season tickets.

This game was in the bag, or so I thought, after Corey's 2nd dong and our dominant 5th inning, but then the doppelgangers answered right back in the 5th- getting McClung outta there. Those dongs back and forth were excitement personified in a baseball game- if a baseball game were a person. And if people are arguing that all the Brewers did was score on home runs and are a home run-reliant offense, while that was technically true last night, I don't entirely agree. Braun got on base with a double with no outs and then scored on a dong. But if that had even been a long pop-up, he moves to third, and then another one he scores. Hooray! Time to win the series now.

I looked over at first base and saw a white guy playing and for a moment I thought, "What the f happened to the Prince? Is he okay?" And then I remembered we were in an AL stadium and that motherflippa was the DH- resting on the bench/beach- eating sunflower seeds and other vegetarian goodies.
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Friday, June 27, 2008 - Bring on the Doppelgangers

We are one game out of the wildcard and continuing our march to capture the Cubs. Did you know that Baltimore was only the second team to win a series at Wrigley this year? The other team? None other than your 2008 Milwaukee Brewers! And we completed that task not once, but twice!

You know how the Brewers started last year 24-10 and we were the talk of the town. Don't look now, but we're 23-11 in our last 34 games. Not too shabby. We're going to have to keep this streak alive (a 3-12 streak is not helpful) against the Doppelgangers tonight.
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Thursday, June 26, 2008 - World Champions!

All is not lost in the land of Milwaukee. Okay, we lost last night and had a minor setback (we already won the series). To make up for it Sprecher Root Beer was crowned the best root beer in the world by Eric Asimov. I desperately hope he's related to Isaac Asimov and has some robots in his basement.

Anyways, Sprecher Root Beer is obviously super delicious. The dad of a friend of mine worked there and I was also dangerously jealous of him as he made claims to a keg of Sprecher Root Beer in his garage (I never saw it). My mom would occasionally buy a 4-pack (no 6-packs) and I would cherish and guard my bottle like the last drop of oil on this planet. Mmmmmmm. I think one of the weirdest things about being an adult is being able to buy as much Sprecher Root Beer (or Fun Dip for that matter) as I want. In honor of this award, the Brewers are taking the day off to enjoy Sprecher. So will I.
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Wednesday, June 25, 2008 - We're Unstoppable!

These early leads are much more comfortable than getting in early holes and having to claw back. I turned away from my MLB package for a moment and when I popped back on- we're up 3 zip? Fantastic. I suppose we couldn't make it too comfortable especially when Dave Bush is on the mound. I think our defense and his relievers just like to mess with Bush. "Thanks for getting us that lead Bush. Now we're going to get as close as possible to blowing it- just to make you sweat."

So incredible how we're 9 games over 500 and tracking down the Cubs. We're relentless machines from the future with one goal in mind- PIZZA PARTIES! Just kidding- overtaking the Cubs and winning the division.

The Sheets articles about his desire to test the market are slightly disappointing, but I guess we all knew it was coming (especially after yesterday's prophetic post- do not doubt the PYPFTB spies). It's tough to keep a guy down in his contract year. At the same time, some of the things he's said seem to show a desire to stay and he seems a little hurt that he wasn't offered a deal. "You can’t invite yourself back.” Asked how he felt about the decision not to negotiate, Sheets said, “You got it from the main man. My mind is always open to anything. That’s all I can say about it.”
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Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - PYPFTB's Deep Throat

So a PYP pledgee and informant (my brother) had his flight from Atlanta to Milwaukee delayed. Another casualty of messy airlines happened to be an MLB scout. The conversation quickly turned to baseball and any inside knowledge the scout might have. He mentioned Ben Sheets, that the Brewers brass had "absolutely no confidence in" Sheetsy and that there was "no way" he wears a Brewers uniform next season.

WHA?? No confidence in Sheets?! I understand the injury bug, but this man has been a beast. As Jen commented, he's an absolute rock for us. Anchoring the entire rotation with a will to win and a 9-inning mentality. He's 9-1 this year (a couple of sure wins blown by Gagne) with 3 complete games (and he was 1 out away a couple of weeks ago). What a stud. He's been so consistent this year and always wants the ball. I love him.
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Monday, June 23, 2008 - The Truth Is I Never Left You

Did you know that the Prince's favorite person is Evita Peron and he was just as disappointed as Argentina when Madonna was picked for the role? It's true. Recently, the Prince has identified with Evita and lived by her words. To paraphrase,

Don't cry for me Milwaukee Brewers fans.
The truth is I Never Left You.
All through my vegetarian years.
My not very productive existence.
I kept my promise to hit lots of dongs.
Don't keep your distance.

Whoee! With 16 home runs now he's heating up and trails Braun by 4. Even though Braun is ahead in slugging, the Prince is actually slightly ahead in average and has a big lead in on-base percentage due to his 38 walks (Braun has 16). This feels good though, right?
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Sunday, June 22, 2008 - Redemption!

Another 1-run win? Getting it done McClung. He sounds like a detective that I would not want to mess with. Maybe a little bumbly, but an effective detective.
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Saturday, June 21, 2008 - We Crashed

Okay, so it's not as bad as the stock market crash. But I am in my apartment right now at 4:30 am central time, and I've probably had a little too much to drink and should wait for the morning for my head to clear and I'm just sitting here eating cereal and reading Brewers coverage. So what? The Brewers lost a game and the Flubs were down 3-1 and managed to win. So what if I started with Apple Jacks ('94 we eat what we like (what up cottage?!)) and now I'm on to Corn Pops? So what if my 1% milk somehow froze in the refrigerator and now I have to eat my cereal with whole milk? That's not a big deal. I can take it. And so can the Brewers. Big shame that we couldn't put any runners in the dugout (after scoring runs) when we had bases loaded and no outs. SHUCKS!
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Friday, June 20, 2008 - Best of Times and Worst of Times

Two halves of yesterday's game (though the bad half was only 2 innings long). It started out so awesomely- looked like a Brewers romp showcasing offense and pitching where the players could get silly in the dugout. And then things got really scary. I know a win's a win and that's all that matters, but we need a killer instinct to put games away. I'm just glad we're not heading on the road after last night. We got the sweep and gained some ground.

Dave Bush was phenomenal. The Prince got his 2nd career in the park dong (though not as impressive as his first). And now it's a series against Baltimore with Cubs and Cards in tough series.
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Thursday, June 19, 2008 - Anything is POSSIBLEEE!!!!

It's nights like these that I'm proud to be a Brewers fan, an American, and a human! Do you know that every single day I wear at least one piece of PYPFTB gear? Yesterday it was two pieces with the 07 shirt and a limited edition one of a kind hooded sweatshirt. Unlike Disco Stu, Brewers Mike and the PYPFTB executive committee NEEDS to advertise. I was at a grocery store and the 30 year-old stoner and checker asked me about the sweatshirt. After I explained the site, he responded, "That's cool man. I'll check it out. I'll definitely check it out..." YES! One more convert for the cause.

Yesterday was fantastic with the high slide, low slide combo from Corey and the Camaro. Russel the Muscle should be careful with those dongs- they're TOO big! Sheets is such a competitor it makes me sick sometimes. I love him. This is the first time we've been five games over .500 since April 23, when we were 13-8. And how's that feel Cubs? Against some real competish on the road you fold like a card house made of Kleenex.
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Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - World Champions!!!

Congratulations to Ray Allen for finally grabbing that championship ring and Sam Cassell and his huge balls on his third. These guys were two fantastic players for the Bucks and I'm glad to see them succeed (even though I'm extremely sick of the Boston train in all professional sports and all this bologna about their fans who already had 16 championships deserving this). My only fear is that (just like we had Ray and Sam I am in 2001 and were on the cusp of a championship) we'll see Ryan Braun and the Prince celebrating their first championship in 2015 with the Mets or some other rich franchise. Don't let history repeat itself.

If we keep playing like last night- I don't think there's too much worry about history repeating itself. Wowee! Great pitching by the Parradactyl- that somofabit@* is really getting good. And then all the dongs? Come on! It seems like we're a team full of Russels with Muscles.
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Tuesday, June 17, 2008 - Things are percolating

Games after a day off after the day in which we salvaged a series by winning the last game and avoiding the season sweep- Brewers are 84-4. Did you know that? Not a real statistic- that's why. I just made it up off the top of my head. It would be better if it were off the tip of my tongue like an autistic stud. Quick recommendation to all of you- check out the YouTube of 2007's Spelling Bee Winner doing a CNN interview. It's something special.

I do like the rest of this homestand though- 6 more games starting.... now.
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Monday, June 16, 2008 - I Have A Dream

I dreamt last night that I was on the Lakers and I was on my way to the airport for the flight to Boston. I was biking with Pau Gasol and Derek Fisher through the streets of LA and giving them a pep talk on how all of us needed to play extremely hard- because THE NBA CHAMPIONSHIP IS AT STAKE! We'll see if my inspirational words will make a difference. If they do, I should begin inspirational dreaming- a new service for the 21st century.

This is an interesting homestand against 2 more AL teams. Our pitchers should make a big deal about acting cool when they bat and then really go ofter the AL pitchers when they're batting- chin music, extra curves, moonballs, etc.
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Sunday, June 15, 2008 - The Big Man's Agony

Oh Prince! Why didn't you hit it a touch harder? And end the game in dramatic fashion. I guess it could be like Joshua Jackson's lesson to Emilio Estevez in Might Ducks though (Estevez's childhood shot on a penalty shot hit the post). Jackson told him that an inch more to the left and it would have completely missed the net. Good point, Joshua, but how about Russel the Muscle's shot in the 9th? Yes! Giving up 5 runs in the 12th is hard to recover from.
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Saturday, June 14, 2008 - Liars!

Minnesota prides itself on being the land of 10,000 lakes. Well I've got news for you buddy! Wisconsin has more lakes than you. Your license plate and your entire culture is a lie!
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Friday, June 13, 2008 - Popping off

9 home runs in 24 hours? Get outta my face with that statistic. Let's give it up for the Prince (with a not too shabby 11 dongs), Hart (rocketed up to 10 after the last 2 days), Cameron (who needs some encouragement after striking out all the time and letting that ball sail over his head yesterday), and Kapler (the young man's gift that keeps on giving). I really love Ben Sheets- he's been so freaking dominant this year and relatively injury-free. Can you imagine if Yovani were still kicking it? The possibilities are endless!

PS- There are now over 7,000 of us PYPers.
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Thursday, June 12, 2008 - Home Run Barrage

Great offensive game by the Crew. Just knocking around homers like Mickey Mouse killing 6 flies with 2 swings- and then the Giant challenges him to a strength contest and Mickey uses his WITS to outsmart the giant- throws a bird that flies away (giant thinks he throws a rock forever); squeezes water from a rock (a piece of cheese); and then does something with a straw- not sure what. It's not really like that, but that must've felt great to get that offense unplugged.

Very good to see Guillermo Mota finish up strong especially against his disastrous outing last Friday where he put the team in a 4-game funk. Getting 2 strong innings and the save from him is great for extending our bullpen's life- keeping the other guys fresh like my basil.
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Wednesday, June 11, 2008 - I Peed My Pants Last Night (Practice)


I don't know what's been the matter with me lately, but as I walk up the stairs to my apartment door I have to go to the bathroom so badly. This time- I didn't make it, a little spurt came out, but the great thing about doing this website is I can say it's practice. Unfortunately, with the way the Brewers played (Sloppy!) it doesn't seem like I'll ever get to put my practice into actual pledge-fulfilling use.
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Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - New-Fashioned Duel

Time to visit Texas for a duel with those jerks from Houston. Lets put them in the bottom of the barrel. We're nice and rested after the Monday day off (who likes to play on Monday anyways?). Time to reassert ourselves and get back to winning ways. No more sloppy play, no more blown leads. Just wins baby.
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Monday, June 9, 2008 - No Holds Barred

Great win by the Crew on Sunday- to semi-salvage the series. Pitching Torres for 5 outs before the day off is a nice move. I think it's safe to say that Villanueva could have gone more than 1 inning (10 pitches). I still can't wrap my head or stomach around that HUGE blown game on Friday. UGH! That game should have been played No Holds Barred- or at least with the "rule about not pitching Villanueva more than one inning if it's a 3-run game" barred.

Here's some insight from a fellow PYPer Izak about Mr. eggs Oddorizi, "I used to go to high school with jake odorizzi and I'm really pumped that he got drafted by the brew crew. He's really good. If you didn't know he let up only one run this season and just recently won the highland high school a state championship. He also is a pretty good hitter. I could see him doing a rick ankiel and maybe turning into a position player if the pitching doesn't pan out. OR maybe we could use him as a releif pitcher and pinch hitter. Does anyone remember Brooks Kieshnik. He was my favorite player."
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Sunday, June 8, 2008 - Hot as Ice

Unbelievable. Are we reverting back to the bad ways so quickly? Bush gave up the big inning- in the first- which is always nice! Being in a 5-run hole from the get-go. This is embarrassing that we lost this series to the Rockies- the dregs of the league. Ahhh! How can we be so hot at home and then waste all that positive momentum? It all goes back to Friday's game and the Mota man putting us in this hole.
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Saturday, June 7, 2008 - Throw out the rulebook Ned

This one is going to make a lot of people mad. A tough one to end the streak on. Ned didn't keep pitching the lights out Villanueva because it was a save opportunity with 3 runs. If it was 4 runs, Mota doesn't pitch, and Villanueva probably finishes out the game with another 10 pitches. Super frustrating. The only problem here to getting mad at Yost is that Mota has been working great the last 14 outings- and this was his one blow-up. It happens from time to time.

I was watching the game at a bar and when a friend showed up and we were up 4-1, I was telling him that it's great but the Crew didn't look too happy. He countered that they were composed winners. Well, the streak is over to a bottom-feeder like the Rockies. What an upsetting game- it's hard enough to get ahead games- you can't throw them away like this.
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Friday, June 6, 2008 - The Future Is NOW

With six picks of the first 62, the Brewers were able to make quite a dent in the Draft- and plan for the future. This is how franchises get built, especially for small-market teams like us. Baseball can be frustrating because there is very little immediate, short-term satisfaction. We won't see any of these young draft picks for two years. Except maybe Lowrie who plans on making it to the bigs in 1.5 years. I love his confidence and am thrilled he's getting favorably compared with Braun. Can you imagine two Brauns? We'd be unstoppable.

More than Attanasio, our scouting team and farm system has been the biggest reason for our improvement into a contending, exciting team. Our roster now is so exciting with all the young kids on it (it's always a little weird when you past that age threshold and most of the players you root for are younger than you). We've got the Prince, Braun, Corey, Rickie, JJ, Yovani, and Manny. I really get shivers thinking this core could be there for a while.

Now it's time to take our streak to the road. This is where we make our move.
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Thursday, June 5, 2008 - Corey the Hitman Hart

Corey is so deadly- he slays the opponent and women whenever he tries- just like my favorite wrestler growing up- Bret, the Hitman. The main difference is that Corey is American, so if we chant USA while he's batting against Dice-K it's not as erroneous as when wrestling fans (and me at home) chanted USA as Bret was wrestling Yokozuna in the early-mid 90's.

Corey is so tall and gangly- extremely fast on the bases- gets lots of slapping hits when he's down in the count- and for whatever it's worth- he seems like one of the nicer guys on the team (plays ping-pong with JJ while Uecker creepily watches). So I couldn't be happier for him and his inside the park figure four he hit yesterday. They mentioned it in every segment of Sportscenter. Not to take away any of his thunder, but can you believe the Prince hit the last in-the-park dong? How did he keep those legs moving?

Things are going so great for the Crew right now and us fans. I'm just loving it so much. This is how we were meant to have been playing.
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Wednesday, June 4, 2008 - More Like Mr. 7000

With 6,992 pledgees ready to pee their pants, I'm excited that we're approaching the 7,000 plateau as things are going so well. Who's Mr. 7000 going to be- Bernie Mac or Cedric the Entertainer?

Quick story- my older brother (lives in New York, was at Yankee stadium for Joba's debut) called my younger brother (at the game). At that point, we were down 1-0 and things were tight. Older brother told younger brother to call him back when Ryan Braun hit a homer. Literally 3 minutes later- the phone rang and the Crew was up 2-1 compliments of Señor Braun!

And it appears things are heating up in the comments section as well with the appearance of some friendly Cubs fans. There's some talk about who is classy and who is not. Let's ask Randy Johnson who left the game to respectful applause from Brewers fans. "As a visiting player, that meant a lot," the Biggest Unit said. "That's pretty classy and I won't ever forget that."
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Tuesday, June 3, 2008 - Heating Up

Well-fought game by our boys last night. It's amazing how much better everything feels and looks when we're winning like this. The whole team is playing better these days. And the Prince was HUGE last night- with the infield hit, the stolen base, and obviously that huge dong he hit with impeccable timing. I love these guys!
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Monday, June 2, 2008 - Yost on a steamROLLer

Whooeeee! That certainly feels good, doesn't it? Usually in sports I always root for close games so they're more interesting to watch, but if it's my team- I definitely want the laughers. I can't handle the stress. Brewerandy made a great comment yesterday about Yost's recent shrewd moves. Kapler taking over for the k-king Cameron paid off.

Have you seen Kendall's stats for throwing thieves out? Kendall has nabbed 16 of 37 (43.2%) runners attempting steals. A year ago, he caught only 13 in 124 attempts (10.5%) the entire season. This is from the Jedi master Yost, "His mechanics were very solid, time after time after time. The only thing I could see was the runners were just nipping them every time. He was waiting back to catch the ball before initiating his release. Now we have him moving toward the ball. So, instead of - bang, bang - being safe, they're out. As soon as I saw it, I knew it would make a big difference."

Exactly, it's the bang-bang difference. I saw it too, but I wanted Yost to get the credit. And yes, "Steamroller" was the title of August 22, 2007's entry where I mentioned Strange Brew.
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Sunday, June 1, 2008 - Solid Gold

"We're back to .500? Good," said Sheets. "Now we can go forward." Obviously this headline doesn't make any sense, but who cares? I was trying to find a picture of the Solid Gold McDonald's by Southridge. I love that place and the piano-playing moon head.

I know Sheets was mad about getting taken out, but I'm okay with Yost's move. It's fantastic that he's a true competitor and wants to finish HIS game. At the end of the season though- it really won't matter if Torres got the save or Sheets the complete game- all that matters is that extra W. And I would MUCH rather have Sheets at the end of the season even if he has one less complete game on his belt. His duel against Berkman was long and exhausting. No doubt he could have finished Lee off- but why take the chance? Good move Ned.
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Saturday, May 31, 2008 - 500- Here We Come!

Today is the day the Brewers reach the 500 plateau. Hopefully we can march beyond it and stay on the steeper and more advantageous slope of winning more games than losing. I don't want to spend anymore time in the stumbling, bumbling hell of losers. We got to this point with a stunning performance by the man Ryan Braun. That guy is so good- he's definitely taken the leadership role of the team this year through his outstanding performance. I'm hoping the Prince can get his hotness back and get a contract signed as well- but right now Ryan's the man.

I would be dishonest if I didn't say I was not not a little disappointed in the response to the Attanasio scoop. There were some technical difficulties with the picture not loading until later in the day- but come on! Who is that lady? Poor man's Tina Fey?
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Friday, May 30, 2008 - Shirking Responsibility?

I don't usually like to talk about other sports because this is a Brewers blog and the Brewers need the press when they can get it. But I do make exceptions when the other sport is newsworthy and Brewers-relevant. As I was watching the Lakers-Spurs last night, always on the lookout for the next PYP topic, I spotted an Attanasio for an instant. Using my excellent detective work (DVR) I was able to generate the accompanying screenshot.

Do they really look that alike? Or is Mark spending time in sunny LA and abandoning his players as they went for the sweep at home against Atlanta (maybe that's why they got crushed- no owner inspiration)? Or more probably- that is brother Paul- screenwriter of Quiz Show, Donnie Brasco, Sphere, and The Good German. Either way- incredible seats.
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Thursday, May 29, 2008 - Rickie Weeks' Present

In honor of Rickie Strongs coming through in the clutch- I'm sending him a bike for three. Three as in the number of licks it takes to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop if you are a cheating owl. We're clawing our way back to the top of the charts- game by game. Sweeps are the key.
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Wednesday, May 28, 2008 - Billy Hall is Clutch!

Did you take shop in high school? Are you a car mechanic? Can you identify the picture as a clutch? I cannot- and I am a certified bridge maker/designer that worked on the Holt Bridge. Maybe they should have checked my skills a little more before awarding me the project.

How great was Billy the Kid Hall last night? Gets on the bag- hustles to second. And then the steal!? I was extremely nervous when Cameron had strikes, but he came through. The play at home was a closey, but my kid Billy got it done. Looking at the schedule, I don't see any losses coming up.
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Tuesday, May 27, 2008 - Poindexter Gets it Done

So I had a little bit of a brain spasm yesterday and talked about Branyan as if he were a hot young player working his way up the farm system. Oops. To make up for it Cousin Jon aka Poindexter submitted some analysis on May 19th. Though it's a little old- it still makes a fine point and I can't wait for the Brewers to be back at home.

The Cubs, conversely, have feasted on a schedule that featured a majority of dates at Wrigley in the early going, and Chicago has played the fewest road games of any team in the majors, with 17. (One other team has also played 17--Arizona, which perhaps not coincidentally is the only team ahead of Chicago in the overall standings.)
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Monday, May 26, 2008 - Are you in the office today, SUCKER!

Oh man, not only does it suck to be a Brewers fan for you with this win one and lose one mentality and actual occurrence of events, but you're in the office! How terrible. Take a long lunch break and don't return- EVER. Cool beans? Cool beans.

It appears as if Branyan is the real deal though- is that the truth? Can he play 2nd? See ya Rickie!
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Sunday, May 25, 2008 - Disco Stu Doesn't Need to Advertise

Hot and quick points for the beginning of summer and spring finishing up. 1) I just saw some birds doing it- and by it I mean making babies. It did not look very satisfying. 2) Seth is a good bunter and pitcher. 3) Branyan will be better than Braun. And 4) Did you see Turnbow had 15 walks in 4 innings? He's really gone crazy I think. Poor guy.
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Saturday, May 24, 2008 - A Little Embarassing

So I made a bit of a mistake yesterday with the poll. I had two sets of answers up. I'M SORRY! But do you know what I did, I took responsibility for my actions and rectified it. The Brewers are not doing that- they stink again.
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Friday, May 23, 2008 - OBAWRISPWTDTOPFW2f1WNCI

Translates to: Our batting average with runners in scoring position was truly detrimental to our prospects for winning- 2 for 11 will not cut it. RISP also stands for Rhode Island State Police- not as tough as Milwaukee PD- get down motha flippa.

Great to get the series win of course- but we got that yesterday. Sweeps will get us out of this hole and funk we're in. Sweeps will get us out of this garbage in the bottom of the division. If we want to content- we've got to sweep like Ma Bell did when fightin' Joe Dimaggio was out shooting down Keiser fighter planes in the Revolutionary War- to protect us from the French and earn our right to keep the Philippines and spread democracy through the fields of the universe.
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Thursday, May 22, 2008 - 5 foot Nothing

5 Foot Nothing. 100 and Nothing. That's how the Brewers got to play like Little Napoleon with our hands in our front breast pocket and Uncle Rico picking on us. "You got to add on," Sheets said. "These two wins are nothing now because they're done."

That's right Sheets. Those wins don't mean nothing because they're in the past. Hakuna Matata means no worries for the rest of your days! What kind of lesson was Hakuna Matata really teaching? We need the awesome poster (mea culpa for not knowing the name) to chomp on that one a bit and see how Hakuna Matata fits in to the Hegelian dialectic and whether it's teaching the kids to be nihlists like Ryan Braun- who just hits TRIPLES!
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Wednesday, May 21, 2008 - Climbing to the top

Up and up and away we go. We're going to climb the ladder to the top of the pop charts... starting now- no now. NOW! The ladder we will be using is much sturdier than this one, but hopefully a lot less humorous. Who knew how funny falling was?

Honestly, what is Gagne's problem? We had a nasty victory that all you can take from it is positives and then he has to screw it up by giving up a 2 shot-dong and make us worry about him again. Is he hurt? If that's what he needs to do to save face- cool beans. All I want to be is positive, Gagne makes that difficult.
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Tuesday, May 20, 2008 - It's a Barrel of Fun

If this barrel represented the NL Central rather than a barrel of fun occupied by monkeys- we'd be at the very bottom. That's right, the Brewers are in the dungeon, the doldrums, the worst, etc. with a substantial losing record. One good thing is we've been playing like poo and are only this far back. We need 2-3 real hot stretches and we'll be right back in this thing.

How did Barrel of Monkeys get so popular? Are they that much fun? No. It's all the same toy- over and over again. And it's frustrating when you try to make a big chain and they just fall. AAAHHHHH!
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Monday, May 19, 2008 - Sports Illustrated Curse

I think the curse might be deserved after a pic like this one. Where did Uecker get that swimsuit? And why does he get to hang out with the boys like Mr. Belvedere? Looks a bit creepy if you ask me. (larger image of sweet swimsuit here). Really great showing this weekend on the national stage by our gutsy guys.
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Sunday, May 18, 2008 - Not Cool

Those two errors were more than a bit embarrassing. We're wasting the national stage- looking like amateurs. Ryan Braun should one-up Manny (nice catch) in left field by making a diving catch and then making tea and biscuits for a Brewers fan in the crowd (me) and then throw a guy out at home- followed by a game-winning dong! I hate Boston!
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Saturday, May 17, 2008 - Congrats Mark DeFelice

What a great story- working for 25 years in the minors and then finally makes it to the Majors and wins the Cy Young for us and pitches in two Game 7 wins as he hits a homer for a kid sick from eating too many s'mores (me). DOUBLEHEADER TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Friday, May 16, 2008 - Slipping Up

Get ready for a terrible extended analogy: I was just taking a shower and as I reached to turn on the cold (it was scalding hot)- I slipped and was doing the whole Bugs Bunny waving my hands, spinning my legs thing- trying to stay up. I nearly broke two glasses on the sink, knocked my toothbrush to the area behind the toilet (gross), and nearly ripped the shower curtain down. I had a brief flash-forward of actually falling and breaking my melon in two. Luckily, I'm part ninja and regained my balance.

I think the Brewers season right now is kind of slipping up in the shower. After the Cards series and first game against the Dodgers- I thought we had righted ourselves and were back to washing the armpits. But Sheets exploding for 6 runs (not on offense) was a difficult pill to swallow. We need to install a slip-resistant mat. Maybe we should bring up the Polish Sausage to run bases.
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Thursday, May 15, 2008 - All Tied Up

Ryan Braun's 7-year deal will be announced today. That's fantastic. He really is a huge stud. Sometimes during the season, I'm just focusing game-to-game and forget about the overall team's strategy for several years. Well, not Doug Melvin- that's why his name is Dougie Melvinie per Yosty.

In case you didn't know, the Internet is a scary place. Image searches for "tied up" can lead to some frightening things. Also, PYPFTB had a tremendous uptick in traffic last week due to a post about us on a site in Denmark devoted to women peeing their pants- WEIRD!
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Wednesday, May 14, 2008 - Cheers to Gagne


So the link to the training vid is back up. Don't notify Big Brother at MLB because apparently they like to knock down awesomeness. I think the training might be useful again after our offense's showing up again and the great get by Gagne.

He asked for the ball and Yost trusted him. He gave him the ball. Then Gagne pitched (with the crowd behind him). And man did Gagne make it interesting with the single and the walk and the huge rip out to Corey in right. But you know what? He got the W.

Torres was dominant as usual- giving two 1-2-3 innings. And Ryan Braun is the king! Did you see the stat that he's the fastest player to get past 40 home runs? He did it in 352 days- 2 days faster than McGwire.
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Tuesday, May 13, 2008 - Oh my God, We're Back Again

Brothers, sisters, everybody sing
We're gonna bring the flavor show you how
I've gotta question for ya
Better answer now
Am I original? (yeah)
Am I the only one? (yeah)
Am I sexual? (yeah)
Am I everything you need?
You better rock your body now!

I think if you substituted the Brewers offense for the Backstreet Boys, you'd be right about who's back in town. That game was awesome! Ryan Braun is too good to be true. Does he look crazy to anyone else? I'm not sure how much I trust the guy because he's so dang serious. That's cool. Get all serious Braunie and keep having 2-dong games.

Great pitching by Bushie. A little weird that Gagnie wants his job back after giving up a run in 2 innings. And what's up with 4 walks? Who cares- we just took 3 out of 4 from the stinky Cards.
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Monday, May 12, 2008 - Happy Birthday To Us!

PYPFTB launched one year ago (5 days ago) on May 7th! It's been a long road everyone and hopefully it can end this season. The goal of this site is the same as a hospital's- to make ourselves extinct. I don't want sick people and I don't want the Brewers not in the playoffs. VERY encouraging performance by our pink bats yesterday- and the closing mechanism worked to perfection.
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Sunday, May 11, 2008 - I stink at closing

I guess that's it, huh? Gagne is done as our closer. Do we have to keep paying him? At least he took it like a man though and told everyone he stinks. Like Michael Hunt says, he is a man- and I feel bad for him. But how can he suck so hard? Who's the new closer? I hope the new one breaks Coco's record.
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Saturday, May 10, 2008 - Oh YEAH!!!

Rickie Strongs comes through in the clutch! What a victory for our boys! I was so bummed after the sixth- with the runners on the corners and nothing to show :( . But then we had a two-out rally- so demoralizing for the Cubs. I'm so happy for all of them!
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Friday, May 9, 2008 - Playing Dead

Was playing dead really our strategy last night? Were we thinking if we didn't play the Prince, Corey, and Kendall that the Marlins would let down a bit. Well, it didn't really work out that way as they pummeled us and delivered the second sweep in a row. Maybe in the next game we should try some other tricks- like the inbounds the pass while someone goes on all four and barks or we could try some cliassics from Major League. This is so frustrating and will require some serious winning streaks to overcome. We're 2 games below 500 and in 4th place.
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Thursday, May 8, 2008 - It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn

That's what Harvey Dent (Two-Face) says in the trailer for the new Batman movie. And certainly once could say it's getting pretty dark for the losers with our 5th straight loss and another anemic showing by our offense. "These guys don't like this, so there is a bit of frustration," said skipper Ned Yost. "I wouldn't say there is tension, but they're working very hard to get themselves out of it." Maybe it's time for some tension, huh?

But I think there's an even more important question- "Is that even true about it getting dark right before the dawn?" I don't think so. It's obviously darkest in the middle of the night. I guess you could say that once it starts getting light that that's dawn- so of course by definition it's going to be darkest (or darker before the dawn) since dawn is when it gets lighter. But I don't think you can count it like that- dawn can't start at least until 4:30 or so. I think 2am is darker than 3am. QED. Unlike the Brewers, I win.
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Wednesday, May 7, 2008 - Aahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay, I don't know if the Brewers got the memo from yesterday. My love is unconditional, but to a point. Does that make sense? No, well who cares. The Brewers stink like a turd in a pool or an egg salad that has been abandoned behind an unused couch. Shutout? Come on hottest bats in the league. I like the fire Ryan Braun is showing- that's right. Get angry and good!
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Tuesday, May 6, 2008 - Get it out of your system

All right everybody, I saw a lot of venting on the boards yesterday. Totally understandable. Now that it's done, let's get it out of the way and concentrate on positivity. I know it's a business and there's a sense of a blind fan being a sucker for spending all the money to make the players and owners rich. That's not how I view sports though- and none of you either. I don't want to be fans like the New York Mets that boo the team every time they make the slightest error. Our boys are trying out there. Our managers and coaches want to win. We have a new owner that is pumping money to the team.

I don't know if we and our cheering or booing really make a difference to the team and their performance, but I like to think so. The Brewers are already playing another team- they don't need to be fighting their own fans too. Listen, I know Gagne stinks. I just love the Brewers so much and want them to win and rattle off 10 in a row!

An astute fan alerted me to change the 24 year-playoff drought to 25 in the PYP pledge. That's done now. I think 25 years is enough.
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Monday, May 5, 2008 - Breakdown- no survivors

That was an extremely rough weekend. After getting hit on Friday with the whole Lamborghini Gallardo torn ACL, the Brewers rose to the challenge and got swept. Obviously the Lamborghini going down is terrible, terrible news. He was definitely our #2 pitcher and some could/would argue ace material.

I was watching the game yesterday- saw 6-2 and Mike Cameron with 2 dongs and thought what a nice storyline for Mike and a great way to end the weekend. I checked back in and it was 6-4 in the 7th. A little nervous, but we still had things under control. Someone told me we lost in the 12th and I was flabberghasted- how can Gagne keep doing this? What's so frustrating about him is that he blows BIG leads- 2 and 3 runs. The heart attack machine needs to stop with that guy. 5 blown saves. Last year all of those are wins- and we're in the top of the standings.
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Sunday, May 4, 2008 - Tough Times

Thank goodness baseball isn't like horse racing where they put down injured players ON THE FIELD! Poor Yovani- I know he'll live to see another day. Also- quite a race going on in the NL Central. If we could have do better against Houston- we'd be in first. Time to avoid the sweep and tear things up.
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Saturday, May 3, 2008 - Bad News

Yovani is gone. And I miss him already. This news is the equivalent of someone taking a dump on your chest. That's never happened to me, but I'm using my imagination and it seems appropriate.
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Friday, May 2, 2008 - Win of the Season?

That really went down to the wire, huh? What an exciting contest- back and forth- a lot of weird things going on (Zambrano dong). But we ended up on the winning side of the ledger and took the series despite a -10 run differential. The two defining moments for me were the doubles that zoomed by Soriano and Fuk-Yo-Dome in the 9th. Each of those could have gone the other way.

Such a fantastic game I don't want to take anything away from it- but the aggressive base-running was quite poor. Both Prince and Rickie were out by a mile (we can be satisfied with runners at third). I know the Prince collision at home will be made a big deal, but it wasn't that powerful of a hit. The Cubs catcher had so much time to collect himself and position himself at an angle to the plate that he almost ole'd him like a bullfighter- with Prince taking the brunt of it. Oh well- bring on the Stros
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Thursday, May 1, 2008 - Uncle!

I give up. I give up! What an amazing game plan by Yost. It's really genius actually. After playing possum and getting thrashed in Game 2, the Cubs think we're a complete joke and we'll be able to sneak away the series today in a gutsy win by our boys in gray. The Cubs erroneously think that run differential is good for something. It's not! They can be +5 in the series with over 34 runs, but as long as we have 2 W's under our belt- I'm cool. Poor Turnbow though- he really threw himself under the bus with that performance.
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Wednesday, April 30, 2008 - Battle-Tested Veterans

And that's the difference Cameron makes. He's a battle-tested veteran that works hard, plays hard, and has lots of medieval weaponry in his locker. He uses his weapons mainly for demonstrations of his vast skills. Bo skills, mace skills, falconry skills, etc. But there are times when he'll have to use his weapons to lay down the law, basically for intimidation purposes. I heard it from a guy who definitely knows that Cameron unsheathed his broad sword after a game during Spring Training one time because someone (I'm pretty sure Suppan) casually remarked that Charlemagne is an overrated king. Obviously, Cameron would have none of it.

Kudos for a great victory in the soon-to-be-named Mars Field. It's going to be a tough series fo shizzy.
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Tuesday, April 29, 2008 - We tease him a lot because we've got him on the spot

I wish Kotter played for the Brewers this year- the whole gang- Horschack and the smooth Barbarino. That was actually the style back in the day though. The 82 Wallbangers could pretty much be the cast for Kotter with their killer hairdos.

What a day, what a day, what a day! We've got a lot going on- some hello's for Cameron, Sheets, and the Cubs and a see ya later to David Bush. Let's hope Sheets can be as dominant against the Cubs as he was in the opener. And Cameron playing us will be quite exciting- this is our lineup now- back to awesomenes and some order.

I like getting all the series at Wrigley out of the way early in the season because they don't count. Did you know these games technically don't matter? They're like the primaries in Michigan and Florida. Just kidding- obviously they count, but it is true that the games at the end of the year count more. I'm going to be so pumped that Miller Park will host the final series against the Cubs. Our guys can enter a raucous and confident crowd where hopefully there will be a little skin laying there on the chopping block. I'm not sure if the goal is to have your skin cut or not- I would imagine "not cut" is the goal, unless it's a hygiene thing.
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Monday, April 28, 2008 - Foofy

There was an article in the New York Times Sunday Sports section about the Prince being a vegetarian. It was funny because it describes Milwaukee as if written by an anthropologist, "Earlier that day, the parking lots at Miller Park were characteristically sizzling with tailgate barbecues — most of them featuring the fatty bratwurst that are all but Wisconsin’s state vegetable. This is the stadium, after all, that during every sixth inning stages a spirited race among five humans dressed as different varieties of weiner product, from Italian sausages to chorizo."

I want to see the stupid author watching the sausage race (why does he call them weiner products?) and not knowing how to cheer. "Good show! What a jolly good show," he yells at the end.
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Sunday, April 27, 2008 - All Hail The Prince!

This was the game of the Prince most definitely. He's like a choo-choo train on that suicide squeeze. I really do love him- he's my big bear.
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Saturday, April 26, 2008 - What a Majestic Animal

Have you ever seen an actual Marlin? They're truly incredible- you'll be on the boat deep-sea fishing and it'll jump in the air and then dive a million feet down. 10 seconds later it pops up 100 feet in front of the boat as the boat is going full-throttle. They're like torpedoes. Scary to think that those monsters are in the ocean! Again, we had our chances last night- bases loaded and all that jazz.
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Friday, April 25, 2008 - Poor Soup

We certainly had our chances last night. Runners on the corners with no outs in the 7th- no production. We paid for aggressive base running in the fourth- but that's okay. It's important that we push it and go for the jugular whenever we can. It's a shame to waste Soup's performance though. One run is a very solid performance. And then Burrell's hit with two outs and two strikes- that's dagger to the heart material. Two-game series are annoying with no victor. I'm a fan of odd game series.
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Thursday, April 24, 2008 - Zing!

"It didn't bother me," the Prince said, who started a vegetarian diet in February. "The only thing is you got people saying it's because I don't eat meat or whatever. But my thing is a lot of people in the stands and you guys, you guys eat meat all day and you guys can't hit a ball."

Phenomenal point by the Prince. I'd be a complete carnivore if it weren't for my girlfriend (who insists on really fun tofu nights and other awesome events like yoga followed by poking myself in the eye), yet I could never hit the longball. It might have something to do with the poor eyesight of my left eye reducing my depth perception- it's a common occurrence in many artists because it helps them see 2-dimensionally and thus draw better. I am actually a terrible artist though too.

I swear I was planning on a weekend poll of who was going to emerge from their slump first? the Prince, Braun, Turnbow, or Gagne? Little did I know the Prince and Turnbow would do it on the same night. Big huzzah for those two! I really love how emotional Turnbow got about it all. To be honest, I'm a little emotional right now too, but that might be because I'm watching Steel Magnolias with the lady.
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Wednesday, April 23, 2008 - Another Barnburner

These extra inning games sure are exhausting. When you win they’re worth all the anxiety (can you imagine losing that 22-inning marathon? Ugh), but there certainly are some signs for worry. Gagne continues to struggle- putting two batters on with no outs? That’s garbage. The extra $4 million for Coco sure looks like a bargain now. And the failed double play due to Rickie Weeks’ weak toss? Unbearable! And Prince- scoop that up to end the game buddddddy!

As they say, a win is a win, and at the end of the season- just the total number matters- not how we got them. Frustrating that if we hadn’t blown that Reds and first Cards game we’d be on a very sweet little (bordering on big) winning streak.
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Tuesday, April 22, 2008 - Old Faithful

As a precautionary measure, Yost is holding Sheets back on Wednesday and he'll miss his first start of the season. Oh man. Why does this have to happen so early? It's a really a shame because he can be so dominant. I feel bad for him because all his injuries are knicky-knack things- a pulled triceps or lat, a really bad hangnail. It's not like he has a knee that continues to blow out and you know he should be put down like an old horse.

It's a shame for Turnbow too- he got his chance last night and did not convert. He's been griping a bit that he's a mop-upper- but with his haircut- can you blame Yost? Zing! If he wants his spot back he needs to perform- no question.
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Monday, April 21, 2008 - Big Ups to the Pope

I'm not going to take the blame for that last loss. My post wasn't a jinx because we actually won the game in the 10th- like we normally do. And then Gagne blew it- AGAIN! Have you seen the stat that from 1999-2006 he had 7 blown saves out of 168 opportunities. From 2007-2008, 7 blown saves (3 this year) in 29 saves. I know it was 4 days in a row, but no excuses. This is downright worrisome.

In other news, big trip by the Pope this past week. I'm half-Polish and fondly remember trips to Polish Fest seeing shirt that said, "Happiness is having a Polish Pope" or "The Ultimate Ski Weekend [listing names like sobieski, woznalski, kernescevski, etc]." Being the Pope is like being the best baseball player- a mass at Yankee Stadium and people love him, constantly cheering, and he keeps raising his hands to the people and smiling real big.
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Sunday, April 20, 2008 - Extra Innings Are A Done Deal

What is going on with the Brewers? We must be deathly allergic to innings past the number 10. Why? Because all we do is end games with a vengeance in the 10th- whether it's the top or bottom- no matter to us. Even though red is my favorite color and my bedroom was painted red as a young child, I'm digging the Reds-killer Billy Hall. He produces runs at the timeliest moments. I like how we took care of the hot Johnny Cueto- one publication said we solved him like the Pythagorean Theorem. A squared + B squared = a sweep!
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Saturday, April 19, 2008 - Oh No!

This is so worrisome. I know Yost and the crew always goes in saying it's not a big deal, that it was just a precautionary measure. But then it turns into a big deal and Sheets is gone for a month and we're on a 4-20 slump. Ack! Poor Benny- he's so dominant on the mound too- just shutting those Reds down like sub-prime mortgages. Someone should staple or tape his triceps to his lat together- or give him a massage. I'd do it- not a big deal if it helped him out. We need you Ben.
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Friday, April 18, 2008 - In Their Own Words

"As soon as he hit, a big weight lifted off his shoulders, and a big weight lifted off our shoulders as a team," reigning NL Rookie of the Year said.

"I was trying to act tough, but I couldn't hold it," the Prince said. "It was like a Little Leaguer. I was jumping up and down like a little kid."

"You've got to understand how long the season is, and you've got to understand players getting in sync," Yost said. "He hits them in bunches."

"You've always got to promise yourself you're going to be as positive as you can, no matter what," the Prince said. "It was actually getting easier, to tell you the truth, the worse I was doing. I just kind of realized that whatever's going to happen is going to happen."

"I got myself into a jam and I got out of it," Gagne said. "That's just a lot of positives."


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Thursday, April 17, 2008 - Slow and Steady

These early holes are not good. Our bats need to come out popping and so do our pitchers in the first couple of innings. Maybe our strategy is to be slow and steady for the whole season. I think we need to use more tricks like the wily tortoise who beats Bugs Bunny. Is this the only cartoon where Bugs Bunny gets exasperated and trumped? I think so. Very interesting. Usually he's so cool and calm and makes all his opponents literally release steam from their ears. Please let's avoid the sweep tonight.
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Wednesday, April 16, 2008 - True Story!

As a kid my dad worked extremely hard so that his son, me, could live the American dream and start a blog about peeing pants when the Brewers make the playoffs. Additionally, he also rewarded himself with a sleek, fast sports car which was way cooler than the one featured on right. We were driving one time and there was a flutter in front of us, unable to escape our car's ferocity. When we got home we looked inside the grill and there was a poor, defenseless bird stuck there- dead. It was a cardinal and it stayed there for what seemed like months (there was no way to extract it). I don't really know what I'm saying except that Cardinals should be careful when crossing the road- GO BREWERS!
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Tuesday, April 15, 2008 - It's Cardinal Hunting Season

Let me break it down for you: in the picture on the right, the St. Louis Cardinals are represented by the cardinal lying on the road. The Milwaukee Brewers are either the road or the car (out of the frame) that hit the cardinal- destroying it, or a combination of the road and car. The point of this picture is not that I don't like cardinals. I actually love them. Seeing a bright red cardinal in the dead of winter is a true treat. What I don't like are divisional opponents and especially the St. Louis Cardinals. We will crush them like a car crushes a cardinal.
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Monday, April 14, 2008 - Mr. Met Takes a Beating

So I wasn't actually at the game, but this is a picture from last year's season where I taught Mr. Met a lesson. Notice the unofficial PYP gear at that point. We've really made strides. Last year, we lost the series and this year we took them down 2 out of 3- progress! What a game yesterday! Oh yeah! The team staying calm after that 6-2 deficit, Soup always battling, and all those doble plays! Another big NL Central match-up coming up.. Let's see if we can keep the sure-to-be-important tiebreaker edge in the division.
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Sunday, April 13, 2008 - Indestructible Sheets

Sheets should really be 3-0 right now, except for the opening day stinker gagne tossed to the fukodome. What a commanding performance after the shaky 1st and getting out of the bases-loaded jam in the second. So much for the pitching duel. Strongs, Old-Man Gabeo, and Bill Hall (who's bringing his stroke back) really made him pay. Let's see if Cousin Jon and Stanley can will them to win the series.
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Saturday, April 12, 2008 - Parra Down

A little bit of a slide, slide, slippity slide right now. That's okay- no time to panic. It would have been great if Parra could have pitched a little longer, but - whatevs. I don't know if I'm worried about the Prince just yet (especially with that sweet double). As long as he doesn't get worried- I think we're cool. Here's hoping Cousin Jon and Stanley have a better time at Shea today and come home with a win.
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Friday, April 11, 2008 - Thoughts on the Stadium Pal

Thanks to Jeffrey for bringing the Stadium Pal to the attention of PYPFTB. Usually we pride ourselves on being up-to-date on all Brewers and PYP-related news. Unfortunately, we missed the boat with this one. It is a portable urinal, focusing on total hands-free operation, using a silicon sleeve connected to a tube to a bag that attaches to your leg. The site mentions other uses like pub crawls, mardi gras, iron butt rallies (look that up- I'm not going to ruin how awesome they are and they may deserve a later post), hunting and fishing, concerts, flying, physical therapy, and they also claim it makes a great gift. Genius? You better believe it.

The PYPFTB stance? Clearly using a stadium pal is not an acceptable method of fulfilling the pledge, but in a general sense, the product is great for everyday use.

First series loss? That's okay. Let's take the day to regroup and then stuff it in the Mets' faces. I know Cousin Jon is making the trip to Shea with Stanley. And some other PYPFTB pledgees will also be there. Enjoy the company!
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 - Well, It's a Marathon

The stinker had to come eventually. And like they always say, the baseball season is a marathon. Similar to the picture on the right of an intrepid marathon runner- they can be brutal and you can want to die and their are lots of ups and downs- but you know what? You keep going, that's what. And if we can get 2 out of 3- that's going to be a great series and a spectacular season. I'm a little bummed for Dave Bush- not sure how this will play out with his lack of options- especially because we did have the lead in the late innings before the crumbling. I want my Yovani more than MTV though.
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Wednesday, April 9, 2008 - Bill Hall Wants Costume Back

Billy Hall throwing from his knees on the spin move? Talk about Web Gem alert! Combine that with JJ Hardy's pick-up off the Suppan deflection and we've got some handy pieces of foot/handiwork going on.

Obviously, this Reds series was going to be a reflection on off-season moves created by the Coco switcheroo. And though we didn't see Coco on the mound tonight, we definitely saw some of the repercussions with Gagne blowing his 2nd save in 3 chances. The thing is- he wasn't doing so bad- got the first 2 outs- and had 2 strikes down for the save. Baseball's a funny game in that all it takes is one swing to change psyches and futures and fortunes. Anywho- let's hope Gagne takes the right lesson from this one (not sure what it is). I'm not sure how often our offense will be able to bail him out in extra innings (great tough-guy training for our younguns). No doubt we'll see Coco or the aftermath of his departure soon enough.
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Tuesday, April 8, 2008 - Popular Brewers Need Protection

The Olympic Torch sure is popular. Parisians were so desperate to touch the hot thing that the French high command decided to send in their elite force of crack troops [pictured at right]. Yes, that's right- France's elite team of enforcers scoot around on rollerblades. All you need to overcome them is a bag of marbles, even gummy bears would work. Anyways, if the Brewers get too popular- which is a very real possibility this season- we can call in the French rollerbladers to keep posers from jumping on the bandwagon.
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Monday, April 7, 2008 - He's [Gabe Kapler] On Fire!

So Gabe doesn't play for a year, but then comes back to get 2 dongs in a row. He's on fire along with everyone else! Sheetsy's complete game was methodical. His dirty curve made quick work of the soon-to-be swept Giants.

And then our offense was unstoppable- putting together 1-run innings with small ball until the dong fest began. Great 2-strike hitting by the super serious Ryan Braun. Corey Hart had a great slap up the middle that left him laughing as took his gloves off at first. Greg P makes a great point in the Comments about the Prince. I'm worried he's just swinging for the fences and some of his at-bats are a little ugly, but if the vegetarian is batting .364- who can complain?
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Sunday, April 6, 2008 - Parradactyl is Unhittable

Whoee- Manny Parradactyl has some pretty fine stuff. Getting up to 97? I think it would be awesome if every Brewer had an alternate dinosaur character as their inner spirit. Then, when things get really close and intense in important games they can do some magic and take the field as brontosauruses and catch every fly ball and then hit dogs. Unfortunately, T-rexes are unacceptable even though they're some of the coolest dinosaurs- they have short arms- so would be ineffective batters, pitchers, fielder, and boxers. And Gabe Kapler should take a year break every year. Kudos to Gagne on his first of 40 Brewers saves this year.
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Saturday, April 5, 2008 - We Really Gave It To Them

Are the Giants okay? I'm a little concerned for their feelings. We really whupped them good as the Crew put on a great show for the home crowd. Batting through the order is always fun. Two at bats for the pinch-hitter? YES!

Billy Hall, how much we missed you! Let's keep Opening Weekend rocking.
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Friday, April 4, 2008 - We Won't Let the Fascists Win

The fascists struck twice yesterday. First, with the Cubs win. Second, I was disappointed to see that the YouTube video from a dedicated PYPFTB pledgee was taken down for copyright infringement. What is that- copyright infringement? More like too awesome infringement? I bet the police had to take it down because too many minds were being blown by those amazing special effects. That's okay. Hopefully our intrepid off-season trainer can get something else up that fits within the realm of copyrights and accepted levels of awesomeness.

Tough loss yesterday. It started out well with Rickie Strongs being a man. Everyone enjoy Opening Day!
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Thursday, April 3, 2008 - Send George W to Wrigley

I know G Dub has a lot to do right now, but I'm sure he'd love the assignment. Wrigley Field needs him to clean all that brush from the outfield. What's up with that? It looks like trash. I'm worried a forest fire is going to start up in that tinderbox of old, dry brambles.

How good is it to have a two-game lead two games into the season? Very good. I love Stanley's nickname for Rickie Strongs- who knocked that fist pitch into heaven. And what's up with Corey Hart stealing bases like they're kittens? That guy is a manimal out there. I don't mean to brag, but that reminds me of the time (true story) when I stole 8 bases in one high school game. That's right, eight. My other high school baseball highlight is one I had two errors on the same play- but that's another story.

Best quote of the game has to come from the Salamander Torres, after taking down Soriano, "To be able to get one of the best hitters in the game right now," Torres said, "that was me being a man." Everyone raise your glass to the man.
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Wednesday, April 2, 2008 - Off-Season Training


Okay, you guys are a little bit crazy. It seems a PYPFTB Pledgee went above and beyond the call of duty this off-season - training just as hard as the players for 2008. I like the commitment, I like the amazing technology this person used to seemingly warp around space and time, I like the PYPFTB gear he's sporting, and maybe most of all I like Todd Rundgren!

We're going to need those things all season and against the Cubs tonight. Go get 'em.
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Tuesday, April 1, 2008 - 162 and 0

I was looking at the schedule last night and I couldn't see any games that we're for sure going to lose. Given yesterday's performance, I think we have a real shot at going undefeated. What a win though! It would've made too much sense to play early season games in the roofed Miller Park, but no bother. We'll play the later Cubs series (when there's a little more at stake) in our friendly confines.

Ben Sheets was a maestro last night- powering through the rain delays to pitch a real blood diamond. And then our top of the 9th! It was beautiful how they walked the Prince and were punished for it. After we all thought it was game over, Gagne almost achieved the unbelievable. Tony Gwynn had his back and took care of business. 161 more fellas.
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Monday, March 31, 2008 - We're Back

Welcome back everyone. We haven't seen each other since last October and it's great to be together again. The long journey towards the 2008 playoffs and wet pants begins today. I've been getting shivers for weeks now thinking about Opening Day and it's finally here. We have a fresh start to show how good we are. 162 opportunities for our collection of young studs to prove themselves.

Some quick ground rules: The PYPFTB Executive Committee spent a long weekend on a corporate retreat in the Dells and unanimously voted that last year's pledge stands. There is no need to repledge, but there is a reason to keep coming back to the site. Our R&D team has been busy this off-season and planned some exciting new things (launching soon) for 2008:
- Fan of the Week Competition
- New t-shirt design
- The Race to 10,000 pledges
- The best venue to talk Brewers with your buds

Just like the last 25 years, we're going to continue to support these guys- tailgating until our clothes smell like brats, cheering from a teepee in the bleachers, buying 10 cent beers on turn back the clock night. Let's take Wrigley by storm.

PS - Big ups to Steven and Jason for buying the first two PYPFTB shirts (both XL) of 2008. Way to represent fellas.
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Monday, October 1, 2007 - These Pants Are Dry
For Now...

Fellow PYPFTB Pledges,
The most promising of seasons ended in dry pants on Friday. Fitting that we exited the playoff picture with a loss rather than making the Cubs eliminate us. It was a great season, but every player should go home disappointed they're sitting at home in October.

When you pledged, you made a commitment to pee your pants when the Brewers made the playoffs. It wasn't a pledge for jokes, or for a couple of weeks, or just for 2007. With those simple words you pledged to stay with the Brewers through the long haul. The long haul has already been 24 years, what difference does a year make? The pressure-cooker of these last few weeks should go a long way for hardening our young guns into winners next year.

So now that the 2007 season is over, this site will take a breather to recover. See you in 2008.

Brewers Mike
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Sunday, September 30, 2007 - Tipping in our Favor

Congratulations to the 2007 Brewers. At the end of this season, the scale will slightly tip to the win column for the first time since 1992. with one game to play, we are one game better than two years ago. That is a nice monkey to get off the back, but embarassing that it took so long to clinch the winning record considering our skillz and early record.

In other sadder news, yesterday was the first day since the site launched that there were no new pledges.
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Saturday, September 29, 2007 - Well, It's Over

Ugh. I guess that's it for 2007. These pants are staying dry. We had our chances, and the players know it. Everyone's disappointed. I'm just bummed that we couldn't get our stadium rocking and bumping like the phillies stadium has been the last week. Have you seen the highlights? It's mayhem in there- could have been us.
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Friday, September 28, 2007 - In Our Grasp

The last four days have been draining. I've gone from loving the Brewers to hating them. Do they want to go to the playoffs? How do you come out flat with 4 games left? Yovani was money to start and our defense let him down. After the loss Wednesday, I thought, "Okay, it's over. We had a good run. We're not going to make it." And then the Cubs lost again, and I'm wary to get my hopes up, but of course I'm going to go nuts. Why can't we win these games? Will both teams lose out? Obviously, we've had more than enough opportunities- even in this last week. We're just bobbling the ball and not producing runs (besides dongs). It's getting a little ridiculous that I can't rule out the Cubs getting swept again. The Brewers really should plan on winning out to have any chance.
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Thursday, September 27, 2007 - Noooooooooooo

We can't keep relying on the Cubs lying down to die for us. They will win some of these remaining games and our chances are quickly disappearing. How did we not capitalize last night? Everyone was so pumped at the top of 8 and then it fell to pieces in a hurry.

That retaliation on Pujols makes me so mad. I hope Attanasio calls Yost in and chews him out. If his defense is something about the hidden code of baseball I want to kick him in the stomach. We're trying to go to the playoffs! The Cardinals are garbage this year. They're not playing for anything- just trying to tear us down. We need to be businessmen who get our wins and go home. Here come the Padres- no more losses.
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Wednesday, September 26, 2007 - Holy SCHNIKES!!!

Do you see this? It is a ticket to a Brewers playoff game. I can't believe I have four of them physically in my possession. I'll admit when I printed the tickets yesterday, I wasn't too confident I'd use them with a 3 game deficit. But after last night! Dontrelle took care of the Cubs and we were dominant. Down 2 games with 5 to go- AAAAAHHHH. This could be the greatest comeback of all time! Being this close makes the Atlanta weekend that much more painful (especially Saturday night's game where we were 1 out away). No time for regrets though.

Here are some utterly amazing quotes to get your blood boiling on a Wednesday morning. Bill Hall oozing confidence in post-game interview. Powell: "Can you make up these two games." Hall: "Yes. It's going to get done."

And then the Prince: "The pressure is not really on us," insisted Fielder, who always looks relaxed. "It's on the Cubs to keep their lead." I think the Prince is the most relaxed person in all MLB. Maybe the world.
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Tuesday, September 25, 2007 - You're Telling Me There's Still A Chance...

At 10am this morning you will find me online feverishly pressing submit as I try to purchase the first set of Brewers playoff tickets of my life. I lost the lottery, but fortunately my older bro came through with a fantastic password "pleaseplease" that may have pushed him over the edge. He's allowing me the honors of submitting the final claim. All the Brewers have to do is be perfect. As Cousin Jon pointed out in yesterday's comments- bigger miracles have happened before like Poole's last second catch against the Vikings to propel the Pack to the big show.

What domination by Milwaukee last night. We got a lot of our aggression out on the hapless Cardinals (who really laid down to die this year and only took 1 of 4 from the Cubs).
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Monday, September 24, 2007 - A Crushing Weekend

It's hard to win the division when you lose 4 out of 5 in one of the final weeks of the season. Friday's game was fantastic. Saturday we were on the brink of victory and Coco gives up his 2nd homer of the season. And yesterday was a debacle. We're playing resilient baseball, but ultimately we need to win these games at the end of the season. You've got to hand it to the Cubs- they're playing winning baseball when it matters and really putting their foot in our throats. We'd need a monumental collapse from them and literally a perfect finish to take care of business.

It's a shame that the Brewers are squandering some of the good will they've had in Wisconsin. They were close to dominating the newspapers, but now it's going to be all Packers.
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Sunday, September 23, 2007 - Scenario

For better or worse, yesterday's loss will ultimately summarize the season... The way we bounce back, or the way we fall flat. (That was pretty poetic of me? Talk to me Goose.) Oh no. I just realized it's the 23rd. And at a time when our baseball lives are all about numbers, that is a freaky freaky thing. Curses. Curses, I tell you!
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Saturday, September 22, 2007 - Turnbow's Finest

Turnbow came into the 8th with a 2-run lead and he immediately started throwing his best stuff- bounce pitch, wild pitch where Damian Miller didn't even try to block it. I love him- he was so sweaty and wild the moment he came into the game. It's like he's playing four-square out there.

Stupendous rally by the Crew in the 8th. Hudson must have been furious that his replacement gave up a run with the first batter. That's what you get for being bald Hudson! Corey's flare to tie it secured his player of the game status- considering his lanky half-dive/slide defensive stop early on. And walking in the winning run has to be demoralizing. Time to take Smoltz down.
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Friday, September 21, 2007 - My Wallbangers

After the loss last night, I watched the 82 Harvey's Wallbangers DVD. I'll admit it, I was teary-eyed at the end. It doesn't make too much sense since I was literally less than 3 months old when that playoff run took place, but maybe the vibes somehow seeped in. It was magical though- the relationship between the players, the team, the fans, and the city of Milwaukee. The fans rushing the field, the parade, the unpolished cast of characters. There seemed to be an almost unconditional support and love for the 82 Crew.

Well, this 2007 group of guys is my team and I'm keeping the faith. They're in a hole, but I know these kids are going to claw and fight for these remaining 10 games.
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Thursday, September 20, 2007 - I Am A Liar

Yesterday, I was supremely confident the Brewers would battle to the promised land. I took a look at the standings and calculated our magic number (12 last night) and changed my tune a little bit. After last night's outing, I'm terrified. Sheets' MRI = not good news. Wise combusting = not good news. Cubs winning another close one = terrible news. Our magic # of Brewers wins and Cubs losses remains 12. The Cubs dipped theirs down to 10 last night.
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Wednesday, September 19, 2007 - Ho hum. We Do This Everyday

Could these guys be any more workman-like? Taking care of business, they seem almost bored. All they do is sock homers. It's weird because in this extremely tight race, I am suprememly confident in our young guns, the Prince, Ryan, Yovanni, and co. to take us to the promised land. Almost as if it's a foregone conclusion that we will best the Cubs in this staring match.

Because the Cubs blinked first. You thought the Brewers were going to stumble when Sheets went down, but what did we do? Vargas and the team PICKED him up and delivered a solid W compliments of Estrada's grand salami!
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Tuesday, September 18, 2007 - Mazel Tov! The Kid Will Play

Yom Kippur begins at sundown Friday and continues to sundown Saturday, and Jews are supposed to fast during that period, including drinking no water. The Brewers play a night game Friday and an afternoon game Saturday against the Braves. I was terrified, but you know what? Braun will play. "I don't really celebrate the (Jewish) holidays so it won't be much of an issue with me," Braun said. "Growing up half-Jewish, half-Catholic, I've never really celebrated one holiday over the other."

Great win by the boys last night. I was watching the Cubs game and thought we were going to get even with them in first after they were down 6-4 in the 9th. They hit a lucky triple. Their luck will run out. We're outplaying them baby and now we've got the great Jewish hope with complete dedication.
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Monday, September 17, 2007 - The Hottest Ticket in Town

The lottery for playoff tickets is going to be quite exciting. I've been lucky enough to go to some 2000 and 2001 Bucks playoff games where the Bradley Center was rocking on every one of Ray's treys or G-rob's fadeaways. And the Al Harris int return for a td in OT was the most happy I have been with 65,000 other great friends. The entire bowl erupted in joy as Al Harris raised his arm up cruising down the sideline. I've never been to a baseball playoff game though. Miller Park will be rocking. No relaxing these last 2 weeks. I'm loving the Cordero 4 outs.
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Sunday, September 16, 2007 - Confidence from Cousin Jon

Mornin' everyone. Mike asked me for a report from Milwaukee. I think this picture to the right sums up everything I need to say, but let me throw this at you for a little confidence... 32 hits, 10 walks and 19 runs in 19.1 innings vs Matt Belisle, who is starting for the Reds today. Play that again: Badgers/Brewers/Packers victory weekend.
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Saturday, September 15, 2007 - Clubhouse Leader?

I love the Prince. He hits dongs like he's eating donuts and I keep hearing he's the clubhouse leader. Is this how he does it? "We've got nothing else to do. We might as well try to win it." I guess he does have a point though. Last night was tough. No way the Cards lose 9 straight games, they're coming back.
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Friday, September 14, 2007 - Is This What It's Like?

Really wonderful image and headline by the Journal Sentinel. It's almost too much to take. The whole season is coming down to these last 17 days and games. Sure, it's hard for a young team like the Brewers to deal with the pressure of a pennant race, but what about for me? I've never done anything like this either. Am I doing the home stretch right? Should I be sweating more (I don't think it's possible)? I could sit at my desk all day doing awesome dances to express how excited I am about the Brewers. I just did the "Frank the Tank" arms at my side artillery guns; shaking the salt and pepper with both hands as I let my head roll back; and now I'm going to move to the standing up and spelling, "Milwaukee Brewers 2007 National League Central Division Champs" with my pelvis.
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Thursday, September 13, 2007 - Almost There

Great effort by the boys last night. That 8th inning rally was pure guts as we put together some great smallball to tie it up. I was watching on gamecast biting my knuckles trying not to yelp too much. There were three points where I thought we were going to blow the game wide open: 1) Runners on 2nd and 3rd, no outs, with the Prince up. 2) Corey Hart on third after his triple with one out. 3) Jenkins batting with the bases loaded and three balls. Obviously, Turnbow was disappointing, but we had our chances in the 8th (and 7th). Back to scoreboard watching. Go Houston.
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Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 18 Games of Nervousness

Now I know what Chicago fans have been feeling for the last month or so. They'd check the Brewers score early on- see a big lead and get down in the dumps. Wait a few hours and the lead would have evaporated. Now that the Cubs blew a big one last night, and it's definitely a lot more enjoyable when it happens to them. Back in sole possession of first with Gallardo putting the clamps on the Pirates. Watching the games, I have so many nervous pees I almost fulfill the pledge earlier. Not yet though. I need to wait for it.
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Tuesday, September 11, 2007 - Just Chillax

Look at JJ, just chillaxing there with his right leg awkwardly splayed out. I'm going to adopt his attitude. I'm not going to flip out (even though this losing the first game of the series puts too much pressure on us and needs to stop), I'm going to chillax. It's the home stretch- time to trust the guys on the field and Yost in the bunker. I have pure, unadulterated faith in the team right now to take care of business. Time to turn the PNC Park woes on their back to expose and attack the fleshy underbelly that is the Pittsburgh Pirates.
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Monday, September 10, 2007 - That Was Awesome!!!

Whoa! Did that really happen yesterday? The league must be terrified at our young guns. Honestly, it gets me so excited to think about how good these kids are. They're all younger than me, but they're my idols. Is that weird? Watch out Stella, Rickie is getting his groove back. We could be peaking at the perfect time as the Cubs fade into nothingness.
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Sunday, September 9, 2007 - One Run at a Time







The boys were good last night. Manufacturing the runs the old-fashioned way. One run at a time- nice and steady. Rickie doing the work in the 9th when we needed him to come through. This September baseball is truly a gift.
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Saturday, September 8, 2007 - A Mosquito???

Come on. You expect me to believe that a mosquito messed things up for the Brewers last night? Well, I do. Because I hate mosquitoes. Those things are abominable. Last weekend I was out in the woods sprinting away from them- my friend had four on his right calf at one time. It was like Mars Attacks, but Mosquitoes Attack. Has anyone ever made the thing work where you pinch your arm where the mosquito is biting and they explode? Not me, the most I can get is smears of my own blood on my arm as I end their short lives. We need to beat the Reds before they end up in the division race too.
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Friday, September 7, 2007 - Back in First

What a wonderful off day for the Brewers. Relax at home and watch the Cubs get overtaken in the 9th- fantastic. So we're back in first place and it's entirely up to us. No more scoreboard watching- all we have to do is win. This is the best Brewers fans could hope for- middle of September and in first place. When's the last time that's happened? Brewers in first in mid-September? I'm tingling right now.
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Thursday, September 6, 2007 - Dong Parade

What a dong parade last night. Our 3-4-5 hitters each hitting a 3-run blast? Come on... What about Braun tying the Prince's record for dongs by a rookie. That guy is powerful- watch out for him. Enjoy the day off fellas. I'll take one too by sleeping at my desk.
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Wednesday, September 5, 2007 - Toughen Up Linebrink

"There's not a lot of teams I've been on in a division race, where you're in control of the game and don't give up the lead and you still get booed," Linebrink said.

Wow- those are fighting words from little Scott. Pretty ballsy statement from a guy who had 6 blown saves in San Diego this year and has 3 losses in 17 appearances with the Brewers. For him not to understand that Brewers fans are sick of a bullpen that has blown 15 games this season after having a lead of 3 or more runs is astonishing. I'm not complaining about last night, because we won the game. But if we would have kept it together on Monday, we'd be a half game ahead of the Cubs. We'll have to overtake them tonight I guess.
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Tuesday, September 4, 2007 - Como el Orto

There is a saying in Uruguay for whenever someone would wildly miss a penalty shot, get nervous talking to a girl, or just generally choke. They would say the person is "como el orto" and make an accompanying gesture of pinching the index finger in towards the thumb. What it basically translates to is performing "like the anus" and having your sphincter muscles contract to the point of distraction and error. It's a general term for chokery that admirably describes how the Brewers have been playing of late- consistently blowing sizeable leads.

I can imagine all the Brewers relievers standing stoically at the mound- sweating bullets with their poor anuses working overtime with all the clenching. I want to remind them to relax a little, take a deep breath, and not play like the orto.
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Monday, September 3, 2007 - Broom It Up

It feels good to see my trusty old broom again. Oh broom- how we've missed you? There's nothing like a good sweep to cleanse the system. It's better than eating raising bran and flaxseed for a week straight. Ooo- I feel so light and airy now.
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Sunday, September 2, 2007 - The Brewers I Know & Love

These are the real guys, right? Right? RIGHT? Yes, you're right.
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Saturday, September 1, 2007 - The #1 Draw

My little brother is a huge Brewers fan. I'm usually impressed with how much he knows and how much he cares. We were watching the game on tv last night. Naturally, I was in control of the remote and for some reason was flipping between Hitch and the game. I don't know what happened - Will Smith sucked me in. Anyways, I would flip from the movie to the game when I thought action was commencing and my brother goes, "Hey! Put Hitch back on." Not very cool. It's crazy how Will Smith can make you forget what's important.

Great win by the Crew though. Yovanni is a one-man show with those dongs he keeps hitting.
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Friday, August 31, 2007 - Throw Capuano Overboard

From Skipper Yost, "The ship feels like it's sinking, but our guys are in the boat, pushing the water out. We know we still have a lot [of games] left, and it's right there." And from Cousin Jon, "Help get this water out, or get off the boat! Who wants to wrestle?!!?"

Although I want to 'rassle, I'd like it more if Capuano could get a win- that poor guy is abominable. We had a chance last night- muy intenso in the 9th, but big head Mench couldn't relieve some of the pressure off of those full bases. Too many players left out to die on the basepaths. :( Can you imagine if Linebrink didn't blow Tuesday's game, we'd be down a 1/2 game with a series win. That game is going to eat at me for a while- but it's time to move forward.
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Thursday, August 30, 2007 - The King Has Returned

I feel like Rafiki in the Lion King when he finally escorts Simba back to Pride Rock. With Sheets gone, the Brewers have been playing as if they were under Scar's control with hyenas rampant. With Sheets in his rightful place on the mound sans blister we're golden. How nervous were you when Shousie gave up those 2 singles in the 7th? Heart attack time. All we need is another win today and we're 1/2 game back. Time to dominate.
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Wednesday, August 29, 2007 - Don't Worry, They're Special

Does Ned Yost run a day care center? Every day his quotes are the same nonsense about effort, "They're trying their best and playing hard." Results are what matter and we're not doing it. I don't know what he has to do to motivate them or scare them or whatever, but I'm not the manager. He needs to get those guys to win.

It all comes down to Sheets tonight. He needs to be the hero and pitch a complete game as apparently our bullpen isn't worth anything. Suppan pitched a great game only to let that slob Linebrink blow it.
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Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - The Cubs Are Our El Guapo

In a way, each of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be "the actual" El Guapo!

I'm sick of the Cubs, they make me sick. It's time for the Brewers to take control of their season with this monumental series and overcome our own El Guapo.
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Monday, August 27, 2007 - Quit Playing Games With My Heart

We're bleeding and we're bleeding bad. We have been playing quite solidly bad baseball since the break and it's going to keep smashing us in the face. Watching this happen is tearing me apart. We blow games in the first 10 minutes with terrible starting pitching. We stake substantial leads and then blow them. That's what hurts the most. The big leads and then the inability to maintain them. It's like we're climbing the Wall in American Gladiator and the opponent has fallen off and so has our gladiator- all we have to do is climb the final 8 feet. There's plenty of time, but what do we do? Slip on the final foothold and fall in the wind- dangling like a little lady in an off-yellow spandex suit while the whole Orlando studio audience laughs at us.
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Sunday, August 26, 2007 - Slip'n'Slide

Isn't this image ominous? That's what our season is doing - slipping away with another 3-game losing streak. How can we keep losing to these scrubs? Shouldn't we be killing last-place teams? Why is our starting pitching letting us down in the first innings? Will I ever be able to dunk?
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Saturday, August 25, 2007 - I'm Worried

Capuano is such a loser. I'm worried about him. He must feel terrible about himself. I mean really bad. He should feel bad because he's so awful, but I don't know if we should post a suicide watch on that man. Do you think he goes to bed every night and apologizes to his wife? I hope she doesn't make fun of him too. Maybe every time he grills a steak it ends up on fire and his wife looks at him with a broken spirit because she's given him so many chances, sighs, and goes, "This is the 16th time that's happened in a row." Unprecedented
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Friday, August 24, 2007 - Don't Chase Them

The Brewers get a day of rest as prescribed by Gabe Gross after 6 days of play and the Cubs let us catch up to them by half a game. But, just like TLC knows so well, we can't be worried about them. We can't waste our time "chasing waterfalls" (in the voice of the Simpsons nerd scientist) by following the Cubs and hoping they fail. We need to play our own game and concentrate on what we do. Until next Tuesday that is.

Dont go chasing waterfalls. Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to. I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all, but I think you're moving too fast. Pour one out for Left-Eye. peace
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Thursday, August 23, 2007 - Sprewell is in Trouble!

Latrell's yacht, "Milwaukee's Best," is being repossessed. I love that guy and would be willing to help him out if he would let me chill on his yacht. My favorite is when he would attack the rim from the baseline with his bulldog face. One day I was driving to the DMV to get a new driver's license and I see Latrell driving with his black Mercedes convertible with a huge scowl. I nearly ripped a U-turn to tail him and tell him how awesome he is, but I somehow restrained myself. Instead, I took a mean driver's license picture with a Spree-scowl. Now, whenever I go to bars bouncers are afraid of me and think I'm a thug.

Bouncer: Please come in sir. There's a table for you in the back.

Me: Yeah (in a deep voice)! What's up now?

PS- 1) Nice work by the Prince to get the score in. 2) Gabe definitely has a lot of Jesus in him. 3) Great series all-around needs to extend to San Fran.
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Wednesday, August 22, 2007 - Steamroller

By the power of Gross, Gabe has come down to exorcise the losing demons of the Brewers. Gabe must have been praying so hard the last month in the minors. It was all worth it with that grand salami. I've been looking at the schedule lately, and maybe I'm looking at it through some beer goggles, but I see the Brewers flirting with a 56-0 record the rest of the way. That picture of them in the Journal Sentinel is great- they all look so determined. Obviously the best part of Strange Brew is when they steamroll each other.
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Tuesday, August 21, 2007 - Roadkill

Even though it was 9-0, I was terrified that when I woke up the score would be 10-9 bad guys. Well it was a win and a huge one with the Lamborghini's dong. Now I'm thinking we're going to take down the hottest-team-in-the-NL Arizona. The Brewers represent the car in the background of the picture at right and the snake is the Diamondbacks. We're going to run them over! Get it? Now I'm dreaming of a sweep over the D-backs and then a perfect road trip to get 5 games up on the Cubs. I know it's ridiculous, but I can't help myself. Baseball is more fun as a fan if you let yourself be carried away by the wavepool of emotions.
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Monday, August 20, 2007 - Depressing

These hurt so bad. How can we keep blowing 5-run leads? It's crazy. Yost needs one of those real long old-time hooks that would yank the bad performers off-stage. Get Cappy out of there in the 7th and then get Linebrink off. To be honest, people hammering Yost for keeping Linebrink in and keeping Shouse in the bullpen seems to be too much. The 5 runs is what killed us. I thought the reason we had 3 closers was to use them 7, 8, 9. I love this 9 game road trip. Backs to the wall- the boys need to earn it.
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Sunday, August 19, 2007 - Stop Planning the Riot

What happened last night? The most peculiar thing happened because at the end of the game, we had more runs than our opponents. It was the most astounding and satisfying feeling. Good work boys. Do that 9 more times in a row please.
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Saturday, August 18, 2007 - Stick A Fork In Us

It's like we're digging our own grave. This is almost too sad and painful to watch. So much promise and excitement draining away into death and despair. The difference between winning and losing in baseball is separated by a thin line. In the past couple of losses, especially last night (and unfortunately reminiscent of some of our past expect-to-lose Bad News Bears days), we have played bad baseball. Bad all-around with the accompanying and deserved big L's. Looking up at the Cubs in the standings makes me want to puke. I'm just kidding about the fork because there's plenty of baseball left, but stay with me guys.
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Friday, August 17, 2007 - Was It Over When the Germans Bombed Pearl Harbor?

Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough... the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! What happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my arse from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer... LET'S DO IT!
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Thursday, August 16, 2007 - Life Finds A Way

In one of the more exciting scenes of 1993's Jurassic Park, a t-rex runs after Jeff Goldblum in a stretcher and in a classic Spielberg move- he shows the t-rex chomping at the side view mirror with the words "Objects Are Closer Than They Appear." That's how I feel about the Cardinals- they are way too close and dangerous against us. We are again playing like overmatched humans who can't even take advantage of our supposed superior intellect because the velociraptors are learning. I hope (stay with me as I now compare the Brewers to the dinosaurs) that just as the dinosaurs overcame the plans of John Hammond to fit within his precise park, we can follow Ian Malcolm's chaos theory and find a way to sabotage the best-laid plans of the Cubs and Cardinals.
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Wednesday, August 15, 2007 - The Boys Are Back In Town

I know it's a little ridiculous, but whenever I'm about to get together with some of my old college friends I always start humming to myself Thin Lizzy's "The boys are back in town." I wonder if Paulie, Robin, and Gorman were doing the same last night. We should have ended the game after the 1st inning with a fireworks celebration unveiling a revamped beer mug for Bernie to slide into that accidentally exploded him. THAT would have gotten us on espn. Series victories are all we need though- so let's reorganize with the Lamborghini tonight.
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Tuesday, August 14, 2007 - Gotta Hand It to the Cubs

The ESPN Power Rankings are a joke with the Cubs at #12 and Brewers at #18. It's another example of the media bias to hope the big-market Cubs with their painfully-autmoatic-curse-stories will do well. The funny thing is the Brewers gave them every chance to take over 1st place and put the hammer to our heads. Instead, they meekly bowed to the Astros and Rockies.
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Monday, August 13, 2007 - Playing With Fire

We're playing with fire, but in a good way. I like the emotion the Prince displayed yesterday. Hopefully his big belly didn't bump into the ump. Selig should turn a blind eye for his hometowner. One time I was eating at Port China Restaurant in Milwaukee and guess who comes in for a pick-up. That's right, Bud Selig. Great weekend for the Crew, getting 2 out of 3. They make me so excited and happy when they play like this. I can't believe how good Ryan Braun is hitting that dong with 2 outs and 2 strikes.
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Sunday, August 12, 2007 - Larger Than Life

Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?
Where's the great white Hercules to fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what i need

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
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Saturday, August 11, 2007 - Alleluia!

Rickie Weeks is back everyone and he's better than ever. I knew he had it in him. This is going to be the start of some general radness. Buckle up.
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Friday, August 10, 2007 - Forget 24-10

Let's face it. The Brewers stink. We've gone 36-45 since the storied start. I'm hoping against hope that the Graffanino injury will invigorate the team and Rickie Weeks will emerge as the messiah to salvage the team and his career. I know he's disappointed in himself. Set us straight Rickie!
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Thursday, August 9, 2007 - Service is needed

The Brewers need to make a stop at the Ford service center in York, Nebraska. They fixed my car in no time and made me forget how angry I was that my trip was in jeopardy. Some positive notes for tough times: Lots of Brewer fans in CO. Joe Dillon was 3-4. And the Rockies are simply on fire at home right now... That was their 9th consecutive series they've taken at Coors Field. (Cubbies are next.) But honestly, it isn't just the Brewers pitching. Our entire defense looks clueless. You're on a first place team... start acting like it. Play like a champion! No retreat. No surrender! I GOTTA FIND BUBBAAAAA!!!
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Thursday, August 9, 2007 - Poor Cousin Jon

I know he's a real positive guy, but Cousin Jon must be devastated. Driving over 30 hours solo back and forth from Colorado. And for what? An embarassing shellacking? Not worth it. I'm sure he had a good time, but it's better when they win. Could this be a wake-up call like Verlander's no-no? If we're serious about the playoffs it needs to be.
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Wednesday, August 8, 2007 - Dancing With The Stars

I had a dream last night that I was backstage with Big Boi before he went on. He was warming up with some fabulous dance moves and I joined in some of the more spectacular ones. What could this mean? Brewers win- especially with Mr. Automatic Gallardo pitching tonight. We have only won 5 of our last 21 road games. That needs to stop if we want to be considered a serious contenter.
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Tuesday, August 7, 2007 - Run Jon RUN!!!

Dead battery just outside of Waco, Nebraska. Eerily coincidental 60% through the trip. The friggen town's called Waco, too. For some reason, I kind of think this is awesome.
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Tuesday, August 7, 2007 - ROAD TRIP!!!!

Cousin Jon is on his way to Colorado to be a difference maker. Stay posted throughout the day for updates on his 14-hour solo journey.

I got a phone call at 4:45 this morning. It was James Earl Jones. He said, "If you go there, they will win." And I was like, "James, are you saying if I go to Colorado, the Brewers will win?" He said, "Well, yes. That's what I said, but in reality, your presence will have absolutely no correlation to the outcome of the game. I just figured, hey, you're on vacation, so this might be something fun for you to do."

Four hours later, I'm in Iowa, hoping I'll make it for the first pitch.
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Tuesday, August 7, 2007 - Watch Out For St. Louis

This sure is an exciting race between the Brewers and Cubs. If we both keep playing like this, we'll stay ahead of the Cubs, but a bottom-feeder from the NL Central might make vault past us like the Twins last year. The goal is to win every series and losing the first game really puts a lot of pressure on the Brewers and nearly destroys the collective psyche of Brewers fans (Oh no, not again.) Hopefully we're getting one last slump out of our system so we can all peak at the right time- the starters, bullpen, and my main man, Billy Hall. Wishful thinking includes Rickie Weeks.
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Monday, August 6, 2007 - A Stunning Collapse

That was a bad one. I know Cordero has been magical, but he has to be in 100% shutdown mode with two outs and two strikes in the ninth. He can't keep doing that. Seems like maybe the move for Linebrink is going to be a solid one. Is it time to move Cordero to the 8th inning just like we did Turnbow last year? Do all Brewers closers collapse after the All-Star Break? That's a pretty nasty lineup- Turnbow in the 7th, Coco in the 8th, and Linebrink in the 9th.


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Sunday, August 5, 2007 - Put Up the V!!!

All over Milwaukee, people are putting up the V-sign. That's a slogan from Milwaukee's V-100 Jams (100.7 FM on your dial). But to the pypftb family, putting up the V sign is 100% props to our King Cousin Vince, who got married yesterday. So many V signs were flying up yesterday, there was no way the Brewers could lose. Victory... Vince... and HOLY TEARS MICHAEL IRVIN!
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Friday, August 3, 2007 - What A Week To Miss

I, Brewers Mike, am back. What a fantastic week to not watch the Brewers. I had no idea what was going on. At one point I walked into a bar and happened across the Brewers v. Mets on Espn2 En Vivo. Fortunately it was the extra inning thriller. What about those two foul balls that the Prince nearly hit to the moon?

The Brewers need to treat a division lead like a beautiful woman or delicate flower. You need to cherish it and respect it and treat it right. A lead is a fragile, fickle beast.

Oh wow. Big ups to Cousin Jon who held down the fort while I was away. I just got a text from him notifying me how the jsonline thieves stole his idea for the daily poll. Their poll today is "What should be the Brewers' current theme song?" Once again, PYPFTB displays its groundbreaking and hard-hitting journalistic chops.
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Thursday, August 2, 2007 - We'll make it... I swear

So the lead is gone, and the heat is on. With all of the pressure and excitement, as fans, nothing helps to release the intensity like a good anthem. So what's it going to be? The Monkees "I'm a Believer" was a classic from the County Stadium days... "Livin' On A Prayer" is an obvious choice, but is it too obvious? I'm pretty sure no city has ever rocked "Power of Love" like Milwaukee could... What about Winwood's "Back In the High Life"? I'm sure our friends at Miller would love that. Let's come up with something, and get it going. If you vote other... let's hear it. What do ya got?
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Wednesday, August 1, 2007 - Great Scott!

Wow! Last night was the perfect example of why over 6,000 people have pledged to pypftb. Did you see that bare handed Bill Hall throw to Tony, to Damian? And did you say "you shall not pass!"? Probably not, but wow! And then to tie it in the 8th... Even the sausages were like, "you gotta let us run, it's the only thing we know in times like these." Then Old Man Geoff steps in to finish it. And immediately following an intense game like that we hear Rickie is being sent down for who?!?! But you know what, right now you have to be thinking: "Don't worry. As long as you hit that wire with the connecting hook at precisely 88mph the instant the lightning strikes the tower... everything will be fine."
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Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - You shall not pass!

Miller Park used to play this Lord of the Rings scene when Brewer catchers would throw someone out trying to steal. I think they should play it after every out tonight. Make the signs if you're going to the game tonight. "You shall not pass!!!" It really makes you feel defensive and powerful when you say it. Let's keep Glavine stuck at 299, and keep the Cubs looking up.
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Monday, July 30, 2007 - Peter, Bjorn, and Cousin Jon #3

Hello everyone. Brewers Mike freaked out and moved to Central America. This weekend was just too much for him... it lead him into a dark cave of writer's block and now he's fled the country in search of answers. I'm kidding. He's just on vacation. And as Cousin Jon #3, I get to help out while he's away. Wasn't this weekend crazy awful though? Ugh. All eyes on Chicago tonight, but let's get some rest today and hope Cole Hamels and the Phillies can help keep the Cubbies out of our #1 spot.
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Friday, July 27, 2007 - To the Reds???

We lost three out of four games to the Reds? The Reds stink. Good teams have the killer instinct and destroy the bad teams. That's how the Packers were in 96-97. The Bucks, when they were money in 2001, never got over the hump or really established themselves as a true winner because they played to the level of their competition. It was exciting because they played well against the elite teams, but then incredibly frustrating as they struggled mightily against the bums.

I know we're a young team and these kids are learning how to win and do it consistently, but we need some leaders. Right now it's Braun, Gallardo, and the Prince that are leading the team, which is great for the future. Now though, we could use a couple veterans from established winners (can't be Brewers- unfortunately Jenkins doesn't know winning).
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Thursday, July 26, 2007 - Suppan Stinks

What’s up with Suppan stinking? Is he ever going to turn it around? I’m keeping my faith in the Brewers and management. In Doug We Trust continues, but the Soup move doesn’t look so good so far. Fantastic that we’re committed to the playoffs this year with the Linebrink trade. We better keep ahead of those pesky Cubs to make losing Inman worth it.

In other news, PYPFTB has had 3,395 global visitors in our ongoing quest for world domination. Interesting countries: Germany with 380 visitors, Spain 78, Sweden 75, Japan 52, and Russia 26. Who knew?
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Wednesday, July 25, 2007 - Pour One Out For Dennis

Dennis Getto, restaurant critic of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, passed away last night and will be missed. As you're watching the next game make sure to pour one out for the man. Brewers won a great one last night. Beautiful at-bats by Braun and the Prince in the ninth. Both of their batting zones looked like target practice with 10 and 9-pitch at-bats. The Lamborghini is so good, he can't leave the rotation.
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Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - Come on guys

Bases loaded with no outs in the 11th. How could we not make something happen? And then Estrada getting doubled up. Was he running in slow motion? I really don't understand how he could be that slow. Is he made of molasses? The Reverend Reggie White allegedly ran a 4.8 40 yard dash. Speaking of the Packers, I nearly dusted off my Favre jersey for a party last night, but thought it was still a little too early.

Balfour's ERA of 20.25 in 2.2 innings isn't looking so hot either. Reds are now winning the season series 2-1. Yikes!
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Monday, July 23, 2007 - Bring On The Reds

Over 20% of the remainder of our games are with the Reds. So far we've split the 2-game series with them. They stink though. I hope we can take their creepy mascot to the garbage dump. I don't know why Cincy tried to go the Mets route with a giant baseball head. If they're trying to scare kids from baseball, then I guess that's a good call, but to me it seems a bit ridiculous. And that mustache is the kicker. Terrifying!
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Sunday, July 22, 2007 - Missed Opportunities

It's happened before, it'll happen again. We're in a little slump right now, but man is it disappointing. To be messing around like these with the crummy teams on the national stage. We should be killing these guys. At least when the playoffs start we'll be playing good teams and won't have to worry about playing down to the level of our competition.
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Saturday, July 21, 2007 - All-Natural Growth

Oh yeah, obviously Bonds changed from that little boy to what he is now through all-natural means. Whatever though. I don't care too much about him. He seems like a really sad, angry person. I certainly hope he doesn't hit any dongs or break the record here, but the good thing is that he's bringing the circus to town. The Brewers have to take advantage of this national stage and show everyone what we've got. Execute.
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Friday, July 20, 2007 - The Lamborghini is a Smooth Criminal

The Lamborghini Gallardo continues to take the majors by storm as he mowed down Arizona with six scoreless innings at record speed. I love how he faced 9 batters in 3 innings even though two batters got hits. His move off the rubber is devastating. On a related notes, riding on trains is great for duplicating the Smooth Criminal lean forward during starts and stops. The move is almost as devastating on the ladies as Gallardo's rubber move. It's especially impressive if you have a white fedora to mess with or, better yet, PRETEND to have a white fedora.
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Thursday, July 19, 2007 - In-Depth Analysis

This was an email chain between my younger brother and way-older cousin. See how the cousin trumps the 14 year-old's McNamara-like numbers and stats with cold, hard "gut" feeling.

14 year-old: If the Brewers play 500 baseball the rest of the year, the Cubs have to play how we have played the whole season. They have to play 70 percentage points better than us to tie us. We've been playing 570 baseball all season while the Cubs have been playing 522 baseball, and that's in large part due to them getting really hot in the last month, but how long will that last? I can't see them keeping up that pace the rest of the year.

Way-older cousin: No matter how fast you run up the terminal, you'll never catch a plane that has already taken off.
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Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - Shaq-tastic!

I was watching my favorite all-time show last night, "Shaq's Big Challenge." All the chubby kids dramatically lost the 20 pounds necessary to go to the Heat game. As they were driving back from the game in the stretch Hummer limo, one of the fatties goes, "They CREAMED the Bucks." Was that necessary to include that in the edit? The Brewers are no doorstop this year. Another 1-run win = Confidence in close game + I'm slightly nervous we're just lucky to win these games and it could go the other way soon.
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Tuesday, July 17, 2007 - Getting Some Respect

As a small-market team, obviously the Brewers have a struggle getting the media attention we deserve. But with winning comes respect and the national media cannot ignore winners. I love how the Brewers are slowly creeping their way onto the national stage and are now a regular part of the ESPNNews Headlines. We're #4 today on the main page and #1 for espn's MLB page. Makes me want to let out a little yip.
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Monday, July 16, 2007 - HEAD!! MOVE NOW!!!

Kevin Mench's head? I'm frankly terrified. I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick. That's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid. Has it's own weather system.

But I love it because it gets the job done. Keep taking series- that's all we have to do to stay ahead of the Cubs. We'll take care of our biznass and let them worry about theirs. It's a shame there's only one more series between us- I hope there's a brawl.
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Sunday, July 15, 2007 - Back on Top

This up and down rollercoaster is getting exhausting. We sure needed that win though and the Lamborghini delivered. Still in wonderful shape- leading a playoff race and nearly on top of the NL. The jsonline poll today disgusts me, "When will the Cubs overtake the Brewers?" Mad props to the more than 54% truth-speakers who proudly shouted, "Never!" I love polling super-biased people. It's like asking a bunch of 8 year-olds if they've ever actually seen dinosaurs fighting lions. More than half would say yes and then remind the pollster about the aliens as well.
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Saturday, July 14, 2007 - Uh oh

The Journal Sentinel got it right- this is ugly. The brewers are supposed to be handsome devils, riding around on pirate ships in their spare time. Instead, they're at middle school dances standing in the corner with hands in their pockets half-nodding at every girl to try and get a dance. Get it together guys. It's weird after every loss to get so depressed and worry about their season. But they've been not that good for a while. Maybe the malaise is coming back. Why can't they just win? Why can't I be a little taller?
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Friday, July 13, 2007 - Use Your Powers For Good

As Bob Barker says, with incredible power, comes incredible responsibility. And as members of the PYPFTB community, with the awesome charge as leaders of the nation and free world to pee our pants when the Brewers make the playoffs, we need to do some good. As such, heretofore, moreover, therefore, PYPFTB is proud to sponsor the 2007 Nick Spaeth Brewers Tailgating Etravaganza Bonanza benefitting cystic fibrosis (PYPFTB is on the t-shirt). They'll be over 100 of those cats tailgating for hours Saturday so holla if you see them. Hopefully, as we whip the Rockies, we can also whip cystic fibrosis.
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Thursday, July 12, 2007 - Slow Day at the Ranch

I hope the good boys of the Brew Crew are getting nice and rested wherever they may be. Because us Brewers fans are expecting a lot when they get back. Get out there and kick some tail guys. A three-series homestand to assert themselves and get some distance in the division race again. I can't wait to stand in a puddle of pledge fulfillment.
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Wednesday, July 11, 2007 - Welcome Back

Thank you to the commenter who brought up Mase's Brewers-cap-wearing, hopefully career-revitalizing album, "Welcome Back." Sorry Mase- it didn't work, despite the unorthodox up crease which never quite caught on. The Brewers represented fairly well last night. Joe Buck tried to clown the Prince for his error in the first, but we all know that Buck is the real clown. I hate that dirtbag with his smug voice and permatan.
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Tuesday, July 10, 2007 - Fifty Knows What's Up

Dude, where did Fifty get that sweet hat? M-willy is going to get so much street cred now that 50's on our team. A couple of years ago I saw Beastie Boys' Mike D sporting the middle-school Brewers logo- with just the curvy M and the barley underneath. I'd like to see a deathmatch between those two of what the kids these days call "beats and rapping." And don't worry about the Prince not hitting a lot of dongs. He's saving them for when it matters.
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Monday, July 9, 2007 - 6000 Barrier is Broken Like A Rag Doll

Congratulations. There are now over 6000 Brewers fans who have pledged to pee their pants when the Brewers make the playoffs. What a proud time for the PYPFTB community. Fortunately, we've reached this momentous occasion at a time of rest in the schedule. We can enjoy the Prince hitting dongs tonight, then quickly move to watching 4 (!) Brewers play in the All-Star game tomorrow. Everyone pat yourselves on the back. But remember, like Mike Holmgren reminded his Packers in '96 after the NFC Championship game against the Panthers, "We're not done yet."
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Sunday, July 8, 2007 - Not Enough

Let's face it. The Prince is a chunkster. We need to band together and make sure he doesn't eat all the Cream Puffs at this year's State Fair. I hope we're not in Miller Park when the eating parade is going down. At the same time though, that weight sure gives him a lot of power. His momentum running around the bases is tremendous and he hits dongs like he's Mickey Mouse swatting flies. If it were an arm wrestling contest between his right arm and my whole body- I still don't think he'd move. For shame. I'd need Optimus Prime on my side for a fighting chance. Snap this streak and get the series win before the break duderinos.
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Saturday, July 7, 2007 - Brauny Man Delivers

Whooeee! It doesn't get much better than that. 2-dong game for the young gun. He's the new and improved Braun. Say bye-bye to the creepy mustachio. Say hello to the tight-weave construction you've always known. It's Brauny-strong, yet soft on your skin. Ryan Brauny paper towels and napkins are available in attractive color prints, as well as white.
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Friday, July 6, 2007 - PNC Park Owns Us

That's a shame. We needed to really give it to the Pirates and put the Cubbies in their place. Unfortunately, we're floundering again and need to come through against the lowly Nats (swept them last time). Let's get the roll going for when we get back to the friendly confines of Miller Park after the break.

Did you know that the the Hot Dog (15 wins) and Polish Sausage (13) have really separated themselves from the pack this year? Polish Sausage has always been #1 in my heart and belly. Then it goes Chorizo (7), Italian (6), and Bratwurst (5) holding up the rear.
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Thursday, July 5, 2007 - U-S-A! U - S - A !!!

I haven't been this proud of America since July 4th, 1993 when Lex Luger arrived by helicopter and succeeded where so many other WWF superstars had failed. He achieved the unthinkable and bodyslammed Yokozuna aboard the USS Intrepid 14 years ago, earning the rights to the entrance song, "I am a real American, fighting for the rights of every man!"

Congrats to Joey Chestnut and Corey Hart for keeping the dream alive.
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Wednesday, July 4, 2007 - Happy Birthday America!!!

Can we get those fireworks that turn into a cowboy hat? You better believe it. The Chinese, obviously, are on the vanguard of interesting fireworks shapes. You have no idea what they're doing over there. NO IDEA SON! It's okay for the Crew- they'll get it back because they are playing for America- contrary to the Pirates, who are communists.
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Tuesday, July 3, 2007 - Mr. Serious or Joker?

With consecutive big games, Miller was asked if he'd like more action. "Nah, let the kids play," he said. "I'm having success playing once or twice a week." I love how his super serious picture where he's all business running around the bases for the second time in the evening contrasts with all his interviews where he seems to be such a friendly, good guy. The next Kevin Costner baseball movie should be based on Damian Miller's career and personal redemption in 2007 as a 37 year-old. Obviously it would include the obligatory Costner butt shot.
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Monday, July 2, 2007 - Congrats to the 4 Horsemen

In full PYPFTB regalia, I anonymously tip my gently cooled (due to PYPFTB koozies) beverages of kings to the 4 All-Stars of the Brewers. With wrists as protected as Wonder Woman's (due to PYPFTB wristbands) and stylish PYPFTB attire and my Brewers hat from when I was 4, I will proudly salute, for the first time in my life, a whopping 4 Brewers in the All-Star game.

Many times in the past we would send our 1 token representative to the All-Star game, which was I imagine more embarassing than an actual honor. That was like a little league game ending when I was a wee 10 years old. Somebody realized I hadn't batted yet and because of some stupid rule that every player had to bat- all the kids had to put down their orange slices and were sent back on the field despite 3 outs and my team losing by more than 4 runs. I had to be properly humiliated with a 3-pitch strikeout.

Don't worry though- I'm over it. Sure, the weekend didn't go entirely as planned. But the Cubs are just a .500 team and we still have a 6.5 game lead. I feel good, da na na na na na nah. So good. Uh uh. So good.
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Sunday, July 1, 2007 - Now That's What I'm Talking About

What a drubbing. We really laid down the law. Put their buns to the rubber. Ryan Braun's line was a little silly- 4 for 5 with a dong and 2 doubles. Gadzooks- these kids can play. I'd love to put the "streaking" Cubs back to 2 games under .500 tonight.
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Saturday, June 30, 2007 - Finish Them

How could that happen yesterday? I thought game over after Turnbow took care of business. 2-run lead with Coco- game, set, and match. But you know what? That's okay- that's baseball. We've launched out to an early lead again today. Let's finish them off and burn them to a roast- Scorpion-style.
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Friday, June 29, 2007 - Miller Park South

This is how the Chicago Tribune previewed the upcoming series, "What may go down as one of the wildest months in Cubs history is about to end with a bang as Milwaukee comes to town Friday for the most important series of the season." They are scared. It's great how the Cubs have been on a supposed "tear" recently and have made up zero groud on the Brewers. They are certainly making a lot of noise for a sub-.500 team.
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Thursday, June 28, 2007 - Miller Makes La Crosse Proud

Every single one of them is so pumped- from Jenkins giving a "wooooo" to Corey Hart looking goofy to Bill Hall slapping him to his helmet flying. My brother noted, "What an amazing picture. So many guys having fun with each other. So much joy. It made me realize that even though I think I'm on the team and wish I was, I am not. They are on the team." But they are our team and we get to cheer for them.

It was so suspenseful watching on espn's gamecast. It said the pitch was in play, then the score changed to 6-3 (that's when i threw my mouse in celebration), they showed the flight of the ball to dongland, and then all the little runners came around to score. Celebrate...
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Wednesday, June 27, 2007 - Old Man Yost

"It's fun, in a sense, but there's still so much we have to do," the skipper, Ned Yost, said. "There's still a long way to go. If we stop and start celebrating right now, we'll be bypassed in a heartbeat. We've got to continue to stay focused on what we're doing every single day on that field. They're having fun playing the game. We're not strict taskmasters. They're having a good time doing it but they're focused and they're out there doing what they're supposed to be doing. This is a tremendous team but it was just two or three years ago when we were over .500 at the all-star break and then struggled mightily. You've got to really maintain your focus on what you're doing out there."

This is so awesome- I wore my Brewers hat this morning even though it was 90 degrees. My old fantasy used to be having a girl make me breakfast in just a favre jersey, but I think it's now her making me breakfast wearing just a Brewers hat.
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Tuesday, June 26, 2007 - The Studs Keep Coming

Have you heard about the next big thing? Manny Parra pitched a perfect game for Nashville, the Brewers' Class AAA farm team, in a 3-0 victory over Red Rock on Monday night. Parra struck out 11 as he pitched the eighth perfect game in the history of the Pacific Coast League. Our farms system is so sick- we're just churning out the studs. Where are all these rockstars coming from? I feel bad that we may be forgetting about some of the veteran players. Sheets needs his due for getting us the best record in the NL again.
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Monday, June 25, 2007 - Daily Pants Poll Gets It Right

45% on Friday's poll predicted the Brewers would finish the weekend 5-1. They were right, we can't be perfect and apparently Turnb(l)ow did put his underwear on backwards. Valiant effort by the Lamborghini though. Even in the loss, I get so dang excited I can't help it sometimes, I feel like I'm about to burst like Yosemite Sam but because I'm a small part of this team and fanbase, not out of frustration and anger. My excitement for the Brewers cannot be contained and I know in moments like these that this simple pledge is so on-point and I have to fight to not prematurely pee my pants.
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Sunday, June 24, 2007 - Defending the Earth

I would trust the Brewers with anything right now- whether it's picking up a gallon of milk from the grocery store or using their mining skills to divert an Earth-killing asteroid from its seemingly unchangeable path towards us. They again have the best record in the NL. How about those classy uniforms last night? The boys looked dashing in front of the adoring sellout crowd.
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Saturday, June 23, 2007 - Common History

Look at those two handsome 80's rockstars. Yount and George Brett- receiving their just rewards for games well-played. Our star-crossed franchised have had similar histories to the doldrums of the league. Things have taken a little turn recently in that the Brewers are now super awesome and the Royals, unfortunately for their loyal fan base, still stink. Ryan Braun and his very alert eyes- has done it again. Brewers goal for the weekend: keep pouring on the series sweeps. Personal goal for the weekend: mow my lawn with my shirt wrapped around my head while listening to some AC~DC.
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Friday, June 22, 2007 - Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!

We're gonna go inside, we're gonna go outside, inside and outside. We're gonna get 'em on the run boys and once we get 'em on the run we're gonna keep 'em on the run! And then we're gonna go! Go! GO! And we're not gonna stop till we get across that goal line! This is a team they say is good, but I think we're better than them, they can't lick us. So what do ya say men!

Some inspiration for the Royals series, even though not too many people (no one) are saying they're better than us. I love it when Rudy is giving this speech. Contrast that with the heartbreaking scene where his brother explodes. In other news, a nice radio interview with WNST Baltimore on Tuesday where the host Drew #367 promised to do another interview when the Brewers clinch and fulfill his pledge on the air.
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Thursday, June 21, 2007 - Fingers firm, wrist flexible, just don't be stiff

The Brewers are playing just like how Soup instructed Jack Abbott to throw a fastball: firm, but flexible and with no underlying stiffness. A lot of feel-good stories in Milwaukee: 1) Brewers are inching their way back to the best record in the NL. b) 35,151 fans came to see a Wednesday day game at Miller Park. 3) Cappy got busted with wandering eyes checking out Phyllis' gazungas on Y&R. e) Lakeshore State Park just opened up. It's times like these when I wish I was wearing a Polish Sausage costume, getting ready to race.
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Wednesday, June 20, 2007 - Bill Hall Grand Salami!!!!!

In the first!
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Wednesday, June 20, 2007 - Common Knowledge

Yikes- the Brewers are really heating things up. I hope we can get no-hit right before the playoffs start. Two things: 1) Somebody put a Pee Your Pants For The Brewers entry on Wikipedia and now every little kid can write reports about it for their 3rd grade research project. 2) Unbelievably, I actually saw a yellow Lamborghini Gallardo in the streets yesterday. What a good omen! I screamed, "GALLARDO!" at the guy, but he had the music bumping too loudly. The car is so tiny- it goes up to about my waist and the guy looked like he was sitting on the road in it- sort of like a Flinstones car except the exact opposite.
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Tuesday, June 19, 2007 - ¡Viva El Lamborghini!

What a debut by Gallardo. After that wild 31-pitch first inning, the Lamborghini really settled down and took control. Some great individual plays too- Hall's diving catch, Braun's pickup and throw, and the nimble Prince's elegant underhand toss to Gallardo at first. Just a joy to watch.

Quick account of the game that literally gave me chills: Yovani Gallardo only heard his teammates say ''good job'' as he left the mound in the seventh to end his major league debut. But as Gallardo walked back to the dugout to a standing ovation, there stood the highly touted young infield of Prince Fielder , J.J. Hardy, Rickie Weeks and Ryan Braun soaking in the moment. ''We were all standing on the mound after he left and I was looking at those kids and Prince goes, 'Man, he's cool. He's just nice and calm and cool,''' said Brewers manager Ned Yost. ''I said, 'Yeah, he's just like you guys. He's a stud.'''
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Monday, June 18, 2007 - Message in a Bottle (from Cousin Jon #3)

Here is a weekend report from Cousin Jon #3 who travelled to the Metrodome for the weekend:

I don't know about you, but I definitely listened to The Police when I woke up this morning. Here are three reasons why I did and maybe you should have: #1. The Brewers almost stole the wins right out of the T-w-i-n-s this weekend. #2. I can't, I can't... I can't stand losing. and #3. YOVANI GALLARDO.

I'll come back to that last one in a minute, but first I'd like to congratulate Brewers fans for a baseball weekend in Minnesota. The Brewers obviously did their part, taking two of three from the defending AL Central Champs, but the fans stepped up nicely to support the Crew. Saturday night's "Let's Go Brewers" chants were easily the loudest I've ever heard Brewer's fans outside of Milwaukee. Other classics from Saturday night include a life-sized Brett Favre poster, and the state flag of Wisconsin also made an appearance. Perhaps a synonymous relationship there?

We skipped Sunday's game to make it back for a Father's Day dinner, but listening to Ueck on La Crosse's 580 AM, it was difficult to tell whether it was a home game or road game for the Crew. Especially during Prince's inside the park home run... Which Uecker talked about as one of the most memorable moments in his broadcasting career. It was great to listen to.

Even though the Crew came up short last yesterday, it was still a great momentum builder heading into a nice home stand and has to give the team confidence for today's game with YO-VANI. Wooo!
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Sunday, June 17, 2007 - "Your actual dad" is favorite dad

The Brewers are really taking care of business out at the Metrodome. That no-no may have been the spoonful of sugar necessary to make the medicine go down. They're playing like a Rocky montage right now- and they're just about to run up the steps and raise their arms. Giddyup!

Congrats to the Cubs for falling apart at every possible opportunity- all of us in the good country tip our hats to the good men and women that call themselves Cubs fans. Thank you for supporting lovable losers who are good at dodging punches.
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Saturday, June 16, 2007 - Jon #3 Reports Brewers Excellence

Here's a report from Jon #3 who travelled to Minneapolis to witness and celebrate some Brew Crew domination with friends:

Wow! Last night was amazing. We sat down above the big baggie in right field. In the second inning some Twins fans next to us yell "hey, Brewers guy... Who's number 5 on the Brewers?" I said back, "Number 5? Geoff Jenkins!" Just two short innings later, Baker plunked Estrada on the shoulder with a 2-2 count to load the bases for Jenkins. I said "hey, this is your guy!" to the inquisitive Twins fan. A few pitches later, after annalyzing the situation I said, "chances are, he's going to hit a grand slam right here." The next pitch Jenkins blasted the ball right at us in right field. It was good, Brewers fans. It was good.
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Friday, June 15, 2007 - Don't Get Left Behind, It's the Second Coming

Like the last post began, look at that mug. Let me introduce Yovani Gallardo with his stern features, beautiful eyes, and that sweet, sweet goatee. His eyes could stare down the devil, yet are sensitive and understanding enough to reduce Dirty Harry to a cooing puddle of "You're right, my parents didn't give me enough attention." I'm hoping he gets a start rather than bullpen work, but either way I can't wait.

Great series win after the no-no. That's resiliency baby. Also, check out the press page to see some nice mentions PYPFTB got in the most recent Sporting News. And there's a fun interview of Brewers Mike with ESPN La Crosse that you can listen to.
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Thursday, June 14, 2007 - No More Mr. Nice Guy

Do you see that mug? He is not happy. Some intense stuff came out of a jsonline chat with Tom Hardicourt. Hardicourt answers a question about Melvin possibly firing Yost with, "I wouldn't worry so much about what Doug Melvin is thinking as I would what owner Mark Attanasio is thinking. I have it on good authority that he is quite upset." Ooooooo. I like it. This is the fire in the belly that we need.

It's a good thing Mr. Pink Bat came through last night and gave us the rebound after that no-no. The best part of yesterday's win was Villanueva being totally unprepared for the start and also proving once and for all that being a major league pitcher is one of the best jobs in the universe. Villanueva said he was filling a bag with candy to munch on in the bullpen when he was told he was starting. "I thought they were joking at first," he said. "When I got to the dugout and people started staring at me, I knew they were serious." Filling a bag of candy? That's what he gets to do everyday. What kind do you think he eats? Mike and Ike's, Atomic Fireballs, Swedish Fish?
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Wednesday, June 13, 2007 - Building Character

Okay- so Verlander was throwing some dirty stuff last night. Duly noted. #279 is right that we're in the Comedy Central and are still leading the division by 5.5 games. Are you kidding me? 5.5 games! As long as those other slobs keep losing- we'll be all right. That said, we do need to get something together. Our character is going to be so built up after this stretch we'll be like a young Schwarzenegger blowing into a 2-liter plastic bottle until it explodes.
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Tuesday, June 12, 2007 - And I'm Not Going To Take It Anymore

We all know what happened- Verlander pitched a no-hitter against us. Well boohoo. Sorry to disappoint you, but there is no crying in baseball. People will wake up tomorrow morning and open their Journal Sentinel to the Sports page and there will be Michael Hunt- who looks like Robert the Bruce's leper dad from Braveheart- writing an article titled, "NOW is the time to panic." You know what Hunt- you're wrong. This is not the time to panic- this is the time to come together.

We're getting tested and this is when the Crew needs us and we need to stay strong. Once you hop off this wagon Hunt- there won't be any room come three months from now when there are 5542 pairs of wet pants. We need to stay organized and stay strong. Whether it's the Straight-Talk Express or town meetings- stay in touch with your fellow fans and let's march. Follow me and we'll march to Miller Park, we'll storm the Washington Mall!
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Tuesday, June 12, 2007 - Charlie Rich

Lord I feel like going home- hooooome. I feel so tired and weary. Prince Fielder is following the immortal words of Charlie Rich and heading back home to Detroit. The Journal Sentinel article with him about going back to Detroit is pretty hilarious. The Prince talked about going to some of the old restaurants, but when asked for a name, all he could come up with was an arcade where he used to eat a lot of pizza with "500" somewhere in the name. How good of a batter he is, that's about how bad of an interviewer he is. Fine by me. My prediction for the Tigers series- 3 pizzas a night and 8 dongs.
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Monday, June 11, 2007 - We've Got a Hero

Thank goodness for Rich Man's Brett Favre. He simply had had enough and enforced his will with a 3-run dong. Is this going to turn the tide? Will this be the proverbial straw that breaks the donkey's back (in this instance the donkey referred to represents the losing ways of the Crew)? Who would win in a handsome contest- Jenkins, JJ, or Mench's head?
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Sunday, June 10, 2007 - Aaack!

I feel like Cathy after going to the mall. "I went to the mall and tried on 35 swimsuits!! My knees look just like my mother's!!" How could Coco do that? I don't even know what to say. Maybe that's what we need to do then, get married- just like Cathy.
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Saturday, June 9, 2007 - Frown

And the tough stretch continues. I think it's time for Gabe Gross to tell another story. As a reminder of the good times so long ago Andrew from Chicago recounts Uecker's call in 1981, "The arm is back here he comes 1-2. Swing and a miss! Goodbye Detroit, Hello New York!"
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Friday, June 8, 2007 - Cheers to You Guys

Today is Pledge Appreciation Day and the PYPFTB team wants to tip our collective hat to two outstanding members of our growing community. Stephanie has been a staunch supporter on the comments section and she made the very first order from the PYPFTB company store.

Steve has also been a regular on the comments board and is most recent response to the 12 year-old wreaking havoc on the comments nearly brought a tear to my eye, "All you Cub fans try to ruin everything. Can't stand anyone else to be happy or have fun since you all are so miserable. The secret though, is this...I know deep down you think this site is cool, and you wanna be a Brewer fan, or you wouldn't come on here. Talk all the smack you want, but you know its true. I would NEVER go to a Cubs site....cuz I truly hate em." Well said Steve, well said.
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Thursday, June 7, 2007 - Store Opens

The store has finally opened. Peruse the store and wrap yourself up in some fine PYPFTB gear. There's even a very special PYPFTB wristband that you can wear as a gentle reminder of your pledge and the 24 years of futility we will soon overcome.

And thank goodness the Cubs are out of town. There's been some nastiness on the message boards, but it's pretty clear the more classy and sensible Brewers fans came on top of most arguments.
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Wednesday, June 6, 2007 - I'm Cuckoo for Francis (Cordero)

Coco really came through for us, AGAIN, last night. What a guy. Did you know Francis enjoys playing dominos AND billiards? It's true! One time I was watching the Dominos world championships on Espn2. There were four guys playing so relaxed as if they were on a porch in those summer folding chairs and the commentators were having a tough time trying to sound excited. This was the championship match, so supposedly the very best players in the world, and in one of the final plays a guy did not make a move that would have won the game 100%. The announcers were dumbfounded, but tried to play it off like it was part of his strategy when it was really just an incredibly dumb mistake. Any legitimacy the Dominos World Championships once had immediately crumbled as the half-asleep players kept playing obliviously. Coco naturally would have played lights out- no mistakes.
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Tuesday, June 5, 2007 - Prince is King (too obvious)

Congratulations to the Prince for being named May's National League Player of the Month. What a stud batting .321 with 13 dongs and 28 rbis in May. I hope we can keep this guy in a blue uniform his whole career. He backed it up by hitting his 20th dong yesterday. Unfortunately it wasn't enough as we squandered some early bases-loaded opportunities.

PS- Cubs fans- go home.
Comments (135)

Monday, June 4, 2007 - The Ol' Ball and Chain

Great series against those "Save up to win the World Series every 6 years" Marlins. Now bring on the Cubs. I'm hoping we can push them over the edge and they will completely implode. There's no way I'm missing this series even if my girlfriend will get a little upset with me for not focusing* on her stories. #5214 Tony knows what I'm talking about, "My girlfriend gets mad at me for watching the game and not paying enough attention to her." That's the price you have to pay sometimes- and if the Brewers win (even if they don't)- it's well worth it.

*not listening at all. Some stories actually have zero retention- no recollection at all of even talking to her.
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Sunday, June 3, 2007 - Choo Choooooo!

The Brewers got back on the right track today with their first series win in seven series. Sheetsy was unstoppable just like this super awesome steam train called the "Lumberjack." This “4-spot” Steam Locomotive was built in 1916 by the Vulcan Iron Works in Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania. It was purchased September 22, 1926 and was brought to Laona for use in the logging industry. The steam engine pulls two all-steel passenger coach cars, and three cabooses. Fascinating. Any train aficionados out there?
Comments (31)

Saturday, June 2, 2007 - Mench's Head Eclipses Sun

#32 Frank from Wausau, aka "The Sau" or "Sau Vegas," gets it right for loving "the cool solar eclipses caused by Mench's head." How did they find a helmet to fit that guy? Mench! MOVE, now! Two-out hits by Mench, Graffanino, and Braun's 2-run dong got the Crew on all cylinders.

The Brewers make me feel so good about myself- like I'm on the right path now and all the choices I've made were leading me to this moment. Contrast this with last week where I was wearing a sad face frown the whole time. How have the Brewers changed your life for the better?
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Friday, June 1, 2007 - Corey Holds Key To My Hart (Get It???)

With Corey leading off- good things are happening. Why wouldn't I love him batting leadoff? Look at this guy's moves! I do feel bad for Rickie and his wrist- that's been bothering him his whole career. He can have mine. Seriously- I would gnaw my wrist off and give it to him.

#4832 Kevin Q from LA remembers "Game 5 of the 82 ALCS when I rushed the field with my older brother and his friends. My brother tried to grab Yount's hat and Yount hit him." Rockin' Robin is one tough SOB- and I love him for it. Any field rushing stories?
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Thursday, May 31, 2007 - Pants-Peers Better than Turnblow?

Turnblow did it again for the third time this season. I know I sound like a grandpa here, but maybe some tighter-fitting clothes would give him some less sloppy control out there. He should think about a wardrobe change more in tune with Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn. Imagine if he came out for his next closing opportunity with a lightning bolt in his hair- the crowd would go nuts.

Or maybe, just maybe, we can tap into some of our own pants-peers as the next set-up man for Coco. #2861 Billy of Miltown's best memory is throwing 103 mph on the radar gun in the concession area. Comment with your own personal best radar gun stories.
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Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - Add Your Thoughts

Pants-Peers now have the opportunity to enter a conversation with other Pants-Peers. The dedicated IT staff is still working out a few kinks, but clicking on Comments now allows you to add your own. The PYPFTB enrollment committee has noticed that following a win, there's a big uptick in the number of pledges. Well, the Crew needs us most when they're on a slide. It's a little roomy on the wagon after that skid now- so now's a prime chance to hop aboard.
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Tuesday, May 29, 2007 - Starts With 1- tune in Boston

The Crew just got back on track the rightness train with a sweet come from behind victory over the Braves. The Prince dong-master socked another one. For members of the PYPFTB crew in Boston- celebrate with an early bird special interview with Brewers Mike on 100.7 WZLX- Boston's Classic Rock station at 6:20am.
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Tuesday, May 29, 2007 - PYPFTB Infiltrates the US Military

After the holiday weekend, we want to give a special shoutout to all those Pants-Peers serving in the military. PYPFTB has some staunch supporters serving abroad. Here’s to Tim, Zeke, Chris, and Mark currently in Iraq. To Jason in Camp Ederle in Italy. And Joseph, Peter, and Julia who had tours in Iraq. Mark in Taji, Iraq says the last time he peed his pants was "when an RPG (rocket propelled grennade) sailed over my vehicle when we were on a mission recently." Hope you all enjoyed a cold Miller this past weekend and stay safe.
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Monday, May 28, 2007 - We've cracked 5k

Congratulations to the PYPFTB community. We're over 5000!
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Sunday, May 27, 2007 - Brauny Man is My Personal Hero

Who knew he would be such a stud? We should put him in a xerox machine so we could have a team of ryan brauns. It would be tough on windy days, but at Miller Park with the roof closed they'd be fine. Even though they've been losing- they still get me so excited. Just thinking about our team makes me happy- The Prince, JJ, Tony Gwynn Jr., Ruan Braun- COME ON! #1257 Maureen from Milwaukee remembers "on fan appreciation night this really BIG guy won his height in beer, he practically had a heart attack running from the stands. Then they drove him off in a cart with all the cases of beer and people cheered him as if he was a king!" We can all be kings this weekend. Drink your Miller Lite responsibly.
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Sunday, May 27, 2007 - Brauny Man is My Personal Hero

Who knew he would be such a stud? We should put him in a xerox machine so we could have a team of ryan brauns. It would be tough on windy days, but at Miller Park with the roof closed they'd be fine. Even though they've been losing- they still get me so excited. Just thinking about our team makes me happy- The Prince, JJ, Tony Gwynn Jr., Ryan Braun- COME ON! #1257 Maureen from Milwaukee remembers "on fan appreciation night this really BIG guy won his height in beer, he practically had a heart attack running from the stands. Then they drove him off in a cart with all the cases of beer and people cheered him as if he was a king!" We can all be kings this weekend. Drink your Miller Lite responsibly.
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Saturday, May 26, 2007 - Bush Big Inning Blows Braun's Debut

If I were in the Brauny man's shoes, I would have gotten a minimum of 5 nervous pees in before Play Ball. He's the real deal though and got his first hit, unfortunately in the loss. The Prince and JJ continue their onslaught with a dong each. Did anyone see the Best Damn Sports Show where Salley clowned JJ by putting an image of Haley Joel Osmont up next to him. Oh wow- he's all growed up now, isn't he?
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Friday, May 25, 2007 - Game Over - Rest of the League Should Quit

The Brewers announced they're bringing Ryan Braun to the big leagues. Every other team must be seriously shaking in their boots as the Brauny man enters the fray. Let's contrast this story of celebration with a darker story of despair: #4779 Matt of Wauwatosa remembers "watching my dad get tossed for throwing his beer on someone on the first level, and having to sit throgh the rest of the game not knowing if I would ever see him again. Very traumatic for a 7 year old." Ryan Braun can be your new daddy Matt- he can be the daddy we've all always wanted.
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Thursday, May 24, 2007 - Scratch That Brewer's Itch

As the Brewers taking a much-needed break today, the PYPFTB crew is working hard to unroll some new features in the next two weeks. Get excited. A store will be opening for some soon-to-be classic PYPFTB gear and we're going to make it so PYPFTB pledgees can interact quite a bit more. Check out the methods pages for some great entries from current pledgees. #4698 Wendy from Boston recalls as an 8-yr old "seeing Teddy Higuera turn down autograph seekers and then give me an autograph (speaking to me in Spanish, which I didn't understand)." You know why that happened Wendy? Teddy knew you were going to make the pledge 20 years down the road. He's like Desmond from Lost.
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Thursday, May 24, 2007 - PYPFTB Logo Unveiled

Big shouts out to CJJ for design and Señor Vern for logo, both members of the quickly growing cast of PYPFTB characters. There is now a press page up detailing the swashbuckling exploits of the PYPFTB creed through mainstream America.
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Wednesday, May 23, 2007 - Oden and Durant Won't Be Peeing Pants

The ping-pong balls didn't bounce Milwaukee's way on two fronts. With the #6 pick, the Buckeroos won't be stealing any Brewers press. And then the Crew was unable to take care of business due to a Sheetsy blister and maybe the Brewers star turn on The Young & The Restless. On a more happy note- here's an account from PYPFTB pledge Ryan on the positive impact we are having on the Crew: It was a damp and chilly evening at Citizens Bank Park for the 3rd of a 4-game series. My wife and I (Milwaukee native) were in left field surrounded by Philly fans. At the top of the 7th inning Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels remained unhit and perfect. I had to do something. I rose from seat 17 in full Brewer regalia. Pointing towards the scoreboard I proclaimed, “He has a no hitter going! This can be part of history!” Sensing my efforts to jinx Hamels I received a barrage of insults and expletives. Hamels walked Rickie. Not done yet, I zipped up my throwback 1982 Brewers jacket and pulled down my matching hat as JJ stepped up to the plate, and began shouting, “The Phillies have a no hitter! Amazing! I hope JJ doesn’t ruin the no-no!” Insults, expletives, and roasted peanuts flew my way. I stood strong as Hamels wound-up. JJ knocked a 2-run dong no more than 10 people away from me. I stood there, smiling, knowing in a small way, I had a hand in that hit.
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Tuesday, May 22, 2007 - Brew Crew Bombers Fill Us With Energy

Great game last night as the Crew lit up the Dodgers. The Prince smacks two dongs to sit atop the NL home run leader mountain with JJ. Estrada smacked another one. And then Rickie Weeks used his rest time to hit a career-high 4 hits- BAM! The Crew was hitting on all cylinders with Soup on the mound. Special mention goes out to #2543 Derek from Danvers, MA, whose favorite player is Soup, and says the best part of being a Brewers fan is "being filled with energy after watching games." I think we all know exactly how you feel Derek- this Brewers electricity courses through your veins and you just want do dance all night like a maniac out of control.
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Monday, May 21, 2007 - Pelvic Thrusting

How do you celebrate a big win like yesterday's? #3401 Tom of Tosa thinks the best part of being a Brewers fan is "gloating and pelvic thrusting while talking to your friend who is a hardcore Phillie's fan." That's exactly right. Not only does it get the point across about how dominant the Crew is, but it's a wonderful exercise for your core muscles. The only thing I might add to the celebration is raising both arms to make a T- that really puts the spotlight on you and optimally frames the thrusting.
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Sunday, May 20, 2007 - Three Cheers for Brewers Ushers

#3151 Christian of Milwaukee's favorite County Stadium Memory is when a "Cubs fan who asked to check our tickets was removed from stadium. We didn't have tickets." Hip hip hooray for Brewers ushers. We'll need them to kick out some Minnesota fans today and give Vargas the extra edge for the early start. I hope the team doesn't need to get crazy haircuts (like cut off their sideburns) to get back on track.
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Saturday, May 19, 2007 - Back to the Future

#4322 Kent Musbach of Milwaukee says the best part of being a Brewers fan is "trying to get the car up to 88mph in order to go back to 1982 to watch the World Series." Great call Kent- the PYPFTB research and development team is working with some engineers at Google to rebuild Doc's Delorian. Upon completion we'll be going back for all sorts of rad reasons- watch the 1982 World Series, make sure Barnett plays proper coverage on 4th and 26, and get my favorite shirt out of the way of that spilled grape juice. But at the same time we're also building for the future so we can watch the 2007 World Series. Great Scott Brewers- let's get back on track tonight.
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Friday, May 18, 2007 - Gabe Gross has the POWER

Gabe Gross saved the Footprints story for last night apparently. In the first real trying moment of the season, Gabe lifted the Brewers with his big burly arms and carried them to a much-needed win by going 2 for 2 with 2 homers. Maybe he'll be our savior in the tough spots- here's hoping.
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Friday, May 18, 2007 - Michael Hunt gets his stories from PYPFT

If you opened up your Journal Sentinel Sports section this morning you found Michael Hunt's column titled, "The naked truth? Brewers not shaken" which opened with the story of the Phillies streaker. The reporting team here at PYPFTB broke that story nearly 12 hours previously. Just another example proving that if you want hard-hitting and up-to-date Brewers coverage, you need to come here.
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Thursday, May 17, 2007 - The Pledges are Up

Coincidence that the 4 game slide coincides with shoddy updating of the pledge list by the PYP crew? I think not. I'll take the blame for this low spot of the season so far- the players were probably thinking, "I don't know if this support is real. Where is the proof that those are actual pledges?" Well, the proof is in the pudding and the pudding is now posted on the internet. The data is a little unwieldy to access right now, but our professional team of computer wizards are working to make it more user-friendly. The rumor that Gabe Gross held a players-only meeting to tell the "Footprints" story has been proved false, as the Crew didn't win yesterday. He is holding on to that story for a time when we really need it.
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Thursday, May 17, 2007 - PYPFTB Reports Streakers

Here at Pee Your Pants For The Brewers, we give you the hard-hitting reporting you really crave. Our representative at today's Phillies game (Brewers up 2-1) let us know that a streaker stormed the field at the end of the 6th. Obviously it is really lame when commentators boohoo fans running on the field- it's fantastic to watch these glory-seekers avoid chubby security men. This guy made it all the way to second base before he was taken to the ground and handcuffed. Security escorted the naked man past the Brewers dugout, perhaps in an attempted, but misunderstood, homage to this site. Philly security: it's pee for the Brewers, not on them.
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Wednesday, May 16, 2007 - This is When We're Needed Most

No time for hysterics. The Crew has lost 4 of their last 5, but they have been competitive in every single game (minus one relaxing blowout). PYPFTB (Pee Your Pants For The Brewers) representatives at the Phillies game last night report that college night + Dollar dog night = 1 rowdy crowd. Our entrenched man hung a PYP sign in the 8th inning- inspiring the Prince and Estrada to hit their dongs. When a Phillies fan tore down the sign in the bottom of the 9th- Turnbow lost his edge and Ruiz ended the game. Our man also reports that dollar dog night is a joke in Philly without any secret stadium sauce and no Italian, Polish, brats, or chorizos available for consumption. He really showed some class and only ate 6 dogs. Quick shoutout to Tom from Dubuque, IL. Can you please repledge- it was accidentally deleted, but hands-down wins favorite County Stadium memory and will be posted in the new highlights section.
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Tuesday, May 15, 2007 - Nationwide Media Onslaught Begins

I just did a radio interview with Spike O'Dell on WGN. According to Jon #3, I followed up an interview with a national correspondent about the Taliban- which is about an awkward a segue imaginable if you ask me. I didn't have the opportunity to share with the Chicago market how I nervous peed beforehand. We should have some new members as Cubs fans abandon ship like rats on the Titanic. Also, here are some pics from the Mets game this past weekend where I got in a little tussle with the creepiest and lamest of mascots- Mr. Met. And the remaining 2500 posts should go live today as long as the guru of IT is feeling it.
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Monday, May 14, 2007 - Still #1 (like what we'll do in our pant

We got two pieces of bad news in Wisconsin yesterday. The Crew lost in a blowout, but overall represented ourselves well in the New York series. Second terrible news- sorry to change sports, but you'll all understand. I was out to a dinner and saw the ticker on tv say, "Favre requested a trade." The dinner was ruined and I almost sprinted to the nearest computer to register www.HolyCowIWillSeriouslyCrapMyPantsIfThePackersTradeBrettFavre.com, but fortunately- it was a faulty story and the writers at jsonline ironed things out. Really though, the Packers front office has done an embarassingly poor job of taking advantage of Favre's last years in Green Bay- last words on the Packers. There will be some Pee Your Pants representatives at the Phillies series- check it out.
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Saturday, May 12, 2007 - We can't make it look too easy

The Brewers dropped one to the Mets last night. After the Mets' big 4th inning, the Brewers never gave up and fought like warrior poets as they slowly chipped away with dongs by Rich Man's Favre, the Prince, and JJ. The New York crowd was so scared. A lot of Brewers fans last night. On the subway back to the stadium, I spread the Pee Your Pants gospel to Crew fans. There was one nice enough New York guy I snapped at when he asked, "So what do people do in Milwaukee? What kind of jobs are there?" My cool response, "You idiot! It's a city like anywhere else in America and the world. Not everyone lives in New York you self-obsessed dummy." Thanks to #51 Mark Laska for pointing out Pee Your Pants was mentioned in the Journal Sentinel. I'll be at the 1pm game today. All we need is 2 of 3 to stay on top.
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Saturday, May 12, 2007 - JJ's Grand Salami puts the Mets away

What a game. The Crew put it together from top to bottom today- defense, offense, great pitching from Sheetsy. JJ Hardy wins player of the game and player of the Pee Your Pants team's collective heart. His grand salami put us back into the comfort zone and his outstanding dive and throw from the knees ended the game. A good number of Brewers fans were sprinkled through the stands. I sat next to four old-timers from Northern Wisconsin who made the trip for this Mets series. Slapping high fives throughout the game, Pee Your Pants never came up as they didn't look too internet savvy. After the dominating win, I went down to the dugout and in the downtime before JJ's interview shouted, "Pee Your Pants." When he laughed, and then looked at me and smiled- I nearly peed my pants on the spot, but realized I've got a couple of months to go. I was wearing a Pee Your Pants shirt (coming soon!) with my Brewers hat and celebrated with some excited fans who had already signed up and some who will now make the pledge soon. Some future pants-peeers from Wisconsin Rapids asked if I was God and walked on water. Relax, I'm a regular Brewers fan just like you guys. Bring on the rubber match.
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Friday, May 11, 2007 - The Road Show Begins

After an incredible 9-1 homestand, the Brewers are testing themselves with 13 of the next 16 games on the road. Should be a fantastic series this weekend against the Mets where the Crew can really earn some daps. We'll be sending Pee Your Pants representatives to the Friday and Saturday games. If you've joined the team and are in the area, make yourselves known at the game (i.e. pee your pants). Also, check out the Methods page and send your own ways to pee your pants to bernie@PeeYourPantsForTheBrewers.com with the subject "Methods." The Pee Your Pants team will post the best ones.
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Friday, May 11, 2007 - More than 1000 pledges today

Okay kids. Great work today adding more than 1000 pants-peeing pledges. I understand there's some frustration that you can't see your pledges yet. Patience grasshoppers. They'll be up this Sunday evening. A quick goodie before the Brewers US tour starts:: #298, Adam from Orlando, who went to school with Yount's son and had Rockin' Robin sign his dinosaur book. Who doesn't love dinosaurs? All right, I'm off to the Brewers/Mets game- will be wearing a Pee Your Pants shirt- so holler at me if you're there. Also, if anyone has a clip of the alleged Baseball Tonight mention or any other mentions, send me an email at bernie@PeeYourPantsForTheBrewers.com
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Thursday, May 10, 2007 - Crushing Demand Nearly Cripples PYPFTB.com

Ask and ye shall receive. I asked to be inundated with pledges and they certainly came in. The Pee Your Pants team has obviously struck a nerve here. Check out the Venn diagram on the right for a not entirely scientific look at the market this website is tapping into. We are processing the pledges received in the last 12 hours, so please be patient as those will be posted throughout the day.

The entire Pee Your Pants team had a pow-wow last night. We heard from the VP of marketing and the IT guys and, as head of operations, I decided to shut down the pledges for today until we can get a more streamlined solution to posting them. We’ve got our IT team of professionals working around the clock to get us back in business. Remember, we’re all part of the Circle of Life here. If the Pee Your Pants team does its job (getting us back online), you can all do your job (pledging and then peeing your pants), and then the Brewers will
keep doing their job (winning). Just so you know, that is the direct
line of causation. Check back later this afternoon and definitely
tomorrow and you’ll be able to pledge again.
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Thursday, May 10, 2007 - and we're UP! Make your pledges at PYPFT

A huge shoutout needs to go out to our talented and dedicated team of IT professionals. Executive Vice President of IT, Jake the Snake, has been looking at the Matrix all night and day working out a solution. You are again able to pledge to pee your pants for the Brewers. All pledges are sent to a database and you will be able to see your pledge by Sunday night, though the total number of pledges will continually be updated. Big weekend ahead of us- showdown with the Mets.
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Wednesday, May 9, 2007 - Ladies' Night Too

We’re getting some quality pledges so far and not surprisingly, there are not many from the ladies. One notable pledge came from #38, Sara from Brookfield, who claims the last time she peed her pants was “sneezing when pregnant.” No doubt, I was a little horrified when I read that, but 10 minutes later after I got over the initial shock I realized how thrilled we are to have Sara on board. Even though I'm not entirely how all of this works for you guys, uh, girls, I'm fairly certain the wonderful sensations are the same. The Brewers need female fans to pledge too. So if you love the Brewers, and I know there are a lot of you out there, you can pledge to pee your capris or skorts, or pants whatever, just support the Brew Crew. Big win for Bush last night as he got back on the winning track (with the rest of the team) after losing his last two starts. He got off to a rocky start giving up a homer in the first, but put in a quality outing afterwards, “battling” all the way. The Prince hit his 10th dong of the year, a 3 spot, to put us up 4-1. When the Nationals got close in the 7th, Estrada and JJ Hardy broke it open with solo dongs in the eighth. Great win by the Crew to keep their strangehold on best team in baseball crown.
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Wednesday, May 9, 2007 - Jenkins + Wild Pitch in the 8th= 3-1 Win

I hope everyone's at the game. Now that it's over, I want to be inundated with pledges from a capacity crowd manifesting their love for the Crew who just swept another series, have won 6 straight, and 10 of their last 11 games. Vargas gave us six solid innings and then the bullpen took over. Shousie in the 7th, Turnbow in the 8th, and then shutdown Cordero for the 9th. He gave up just his 4th hit of the season to get his 15th save. Following on Gamecast, when it went to the bottom of the 8th, I just knew good things were going to happen. The Prince started it off with a single. Billy Hall singled to advance him to second and then Geoff Jenkins gave us the winning rbi. When Billy Hall scored on a wild pitch it was all over. Wowzas. We are now 14 games over 500.
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Tuesday, May 8, 2007 - Funky McNasty

That’s what Yost called one of Capuano’s pitches in the bullpen two days ago and that’s what the Brewers are this season- Funky McNasty. When the best team in baseball (Brewers) plays the worst team (Nats), you need to take care of business. And that’s what the Brewers did. With the early 3-run dong from rich man’s Brett Favre in the second, Capuano took care of business before handing things off to Cordero. Cappie is 5-0 on the year and the Crew are unbeaten in all seven of his starts. It was fantastic that Capuano was able to give the bullpen a rest and we only needed Cordero to pitch the 9th. This use of the bullpen is something the Brewers are going to need to work on and watch throughout the season. We can’t let those guys get tired and beat up after we all pee our pants, but before the real show begins in the actual playoffs. We’ve got a nice start so far with pledges. The obvious award for best entry goes to Paul Waldschmidt from Normal, IL who last peed his pants during a “tickle fight” with his wife. Good work. A close second is Mark Ellison’s question if “small dribbles count?” At 46, Mark is the grandfather of the team- and though small dribbles count for general pants-peeing, it will definitely not count for when the Brewers make the playoffs. You’re going to need to open the flood gates all the way for that Mark.
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Tuesday, May 8, 2007 - Protect Yourself

Get yourselves down to Miller Park immediately. Froedtert & the Medical College of Wisconsin, FOX 6, the Milwaukee Brewers, and the National Prostate Cancer Coalition are joining together to encourage men to protect themselves against prostate cancer from 7am to 3pm today. The free, private, confidential, and hopefully sexy screenings will take place in a mobile clinic vehicle near the TGI Friday’s restaurant in the northeast corner of the ball park. http://www.froedtert.com/MediaRoom/MediaReleases/CurrentReleases/ProstateCancerScreeningEvent.htm
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Monday, May 7, 2007 - Don't Mess with the Prince

And the site is finally up. It's been in the works for a while. The idea originally sprouted two years ago when the Brewers were decent. In hopeful discussions about finally reaching the promised land, my brother couldn't imagine what would happen if the Brewers made the playoffs. He thought he would pee his pants and then promised to do so. Naturally, the Brewers collapsed down the stretch and despite having two chances to finish the season with a winning record, they lost both games and ended the season in the limbo of a non-losing and non-winning season. Needless to say, my brother did not pee his pants. But he's got a chance this year as the Brewers are the best team in baseball. What a game by Prince yesterday- extracting his revenge after getting cheaply beaned. Going 3 for 4 with 2 homers, 3 runs, and 3 rbis- the Prince was the Brewers offense. After dominating the Cards, we just took 3 of 4 from the Pirates. A great week.
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